Katie Palframan Counselling

01/21/2026

Thank you EMDR with Carly !

Dissociation has gotten a bad rep and is vastly misunderstood!

So.. Let’s Talk About Dissociation (Especially in EMDR)

It’s often framed as something we need to eliminate or “keep under control” in therapy.. especially in EMDR. And yes, dissociation matters. We assess it carefully. We screen for it. We pay close attention to how it shows up in and in between sessions.

But here’s the part that often gets missed:

Dissociation is not the problem. It’s the protection.

For many people, dissociation developed early in life, when overwhelm was chronic, resources were limited and escape wasn’t possible. When the nervous system couldn’t fight or flee, it found another way to survive: by creating distance from sensations, emotions, memories, or even the body itself. That is resourceful.

That response made sense in that moment.
And it can still show up now ..especially when therapy gets close to transformative healing✨

In EMDR and trauma-focused work, I’m not focused on forcing presence or pushing through dissociation. I’m focused on understanding:
• when it shows up
• what it’s protecting you from
• how / if the nervous system can safely move back into the present and what it needs to move THROUGH the dissociation. Not over it. Not under or around, through.

How do we do that?
We go slower. At your pace.
We widen the window of tolerance. At your pace.
We build stability, safety, and choice. At YOUR pace.

Because trying to override dissociation often increases it.

Healing doesn’t happen by overpowering your nervous system.
It happens when your system learns it no longer has to protect in the same way.

Dissociation isn’t a sign you’re doing anything wrong.
It’s a sign your system learned to survive and it deserves respect as we move forward. I cannot emphasize enough how important the respect factor is. That means working with someone that listens to YOU and what YOU are feeling.

At the end of the day, all the letters behind someone’s name does not know your experience better than your nervous system knows.. working with someone who values that, trusts what YOUR nervous system is communicating and listening to YOUR experience of healing… that is key in moving through and into safe ❤️‍🩹

01/16/2026

✨ Trauma Lives in the Body — and Sometimes Healing Surprises Us ✨

I talk often about how trauma isn’t just stored in our thoughts or memories. It lives in the body, in the nervous system, in our muscles, breath, and tension patterns.

This week, I experienced that truth in a very real way.

Last week I had my first dry needling session with a physical therapist (similar in some ways to acupuncture, but grounded in Western anatomy and muscle function). The goal was physical — addressing pain and nerve irritation.

What I didn’t expect?
A huge emotional release.

Tears. A wave of relief. A sense of letting go I didn’t even realize my body was holding onto.

It was a powerful reminder that the nervous system doesn’t separate physical from emotional. When the body feels safe enough to release, emotions often follow …not because anything is “wrong,” but because something is finally allowed to move.

Healing is holistic.
Talk therapy matters.
Somatic work matters.
The body matters.

This experience felt surprising, grounding, and freeing and it reinforced why integrating body-based approaches alongside therapy can be so impactful.

Going forward, I’ll be continuing to incorporate physical and nervous-system-informed approaches in my own life as needed because healing is rarely just one thing.

If you’ve ever felt like you’ve “talked it all through” but your body still feels stuck… you’re not imagining it. There’s wisdom there. 💛

— Katie

01/14/2026

Pain isn’t always a sign of damage.
Sometimes it’s a nervous system that feels threatened.

From a nervous-system lens, pain can be a protective response.. not a failure of the body.

When we experience injury, strain, or prolonged stress, the nervous system can shift into survival mode.
Signals get louder.
Muscles guard.
Sensations linger or spread.

Even after the tissue itself is safe, the alarm may stay on.

From a polyvagal perspective, this makes sense.
The nervous system’s job isn’t comfort — it’s protection.

And honestly, I’m learning this lesson in real time.
It’s hard.
Especially when the mind wants to push through, fix it fast, or judge the body for not cooperating.

In EMDR and nervous-system–informed therapy, we don’t force the system to calm down.
We help it feel safe enough to stand down — by processing threat held in the body, supporting regulation instead of resistance, and allowing healing to unfold rather than demanding it.

Your body isn’t broken.
It’s trying to protect you — sometimes a little too loudly.

✨ Slow is not failure
✨ Rest is not giving up
✨ Regulation is treatment

If your body feels loud lately, it may not need more pushing —
it may be asking for safety.

Emotional release can be part of that safety.
Tears don’t always mean something is wrong — they can be a sign the nervous system finally feels safe enough to soften.

Even when life is generally good, pain or loss of function can stir deeper layers — feelings of failure, helplessness, or worthlessness that don’t always have words.

If this resonates for you, you’re not broken and you’re not “too much.”
Your nervous system may simply be releasing what it’s been carrying.

And that release — emotional, physical, or both — is not a setback.
It’s often part of healing.

01/07/2026

Sometimes growth looks like not responding.
Not correcting the narrative.
Not defending yourself.
Not explaining what only the people closest to you were meant to understand.

In therapy, we often talk about the shift from proving to protecting — protecting your nervous system, your values, and your peace.
You don’t owe access to your story to people who are committed to misunderstanding it.

Choosing silence isn’t avoidance.
It’s discernment.
It’s a boundary.
And often, it’s an act of self-respect.

Healing doesn’t require being accepted by everyone, only being grounded in and accepting yourself. 🤍

01/06/2026

Today’s reminder (from someone who learned it the hard way):

Sometimes healing doesn’t come from doing more —
it comes from letting yourself stop.

I injured my shoulder… sleeping.
Not skydiving.
Not lifting heavy.
Literally just ✨existing✨.

Then, because my brain still thinks I’m 18, I worked out anyway.
Spoiler: it did not help.

For years, working out has been a grounding space for me.
Then life happened — a sick parent, I became very sick, emotional exhaustion.
Just as things felt “normal” again… BAM. Sleep injury. And wow, does it suck! 😩

But here’s the part I’m sitting with today…
our nervous systems don’t care about our plans.
They care about safety, rest, and recovery.

So if your body is tapping you on the shoulder (or straight-up screaming like mine 🥴):
👉 it’s not betraying you
👉 it’s communicating with you

Strength isn’t pushing through pain.
Sometimes strength is saying, “Okay… I’ll listen.”

Be gentle with yourself today.
Even if that gentleness is very reluctantly applied. 💛

12/31/2025

✨ 2025 has been a year of learning, growing, and feeling deeply. ✨

I wanted to take a moment to share some of the professional and personal work I’ve done this year; the inner journeys that shape me not just as a therapist, but as a human.

💛 Healing is relational. Learning is lifelong. And the work I do with clients has me feeling all my feels 🥹. Thank you for an amazing 2025. Every hour I have spent with every client has been a gift, an honour and a privilege and I can’t wait to continue building connections in 2026.

🎶 Music credit: Instrumental Thank You – Alanis Morissette

12/30/2025

Relationships are not just about love — they’re about emotional availability, responsiveness, and safety.

When you’ve experienced attachment trauma, you may have learned to tolerate emotional distance, inconsistency, or unmet needs just to stay connected. You learned how to adapt. How to wait. How to minimize yourself.

But healing changes things.

As you reconnect with your needs, your nervous system becomes less willing to accept what once felt “normal.”
Unfulfilling relationships start to feel louder.
More uncomfortable.
Harder to ignore.

And that can hurt.

It can feel like loss, grief, or even failure ..”Why can’t I make this work anymore?”
But from an attachment lens, this discomfort is not a setback.

✨ It’s the gift.

It’s your system saying: I want more safety. More reciprocity. More emotional presence.

Not everyone will be able to meet you there.
Not because you’re “too much.” Not because you’re expecting perfection.
But because healing often outgrows the capacity of certain relationships.

Secure, safe, meaningful connection requires:
• Emotional accessibility
• Responsiveness
• Engagement

When those pieces aren’t available, no amount of effort, patience, or self-blame will create them.

Healing doesn’t make relationships fall apart..
✨ it reveals the truth of them.

And even though that truth can hurt, it also creates space for relationships that feel steadier, safer, and more alive.

You’re not losing people because you’re healing.
You’re learning who can truly walk with you.

💛

— Katie Palframan Counselling
Attachment-focused, Emotionally-Focused, Trauma-informed/responsive therapy ❤️‍🩹

12/28/2025

🎄 Happy (very) late Holidays! 🎄

I hosted for a few days… which means I’m currently running on leftovers, coffee, and deep breaths 😅
Feeling grateful, a little tired, and so excited for what 2026 has in store.
I can’t wait to continue working with my wonderful clients — and I’m accepting new ones too in the new year.
Here’s to rest, connection, and a fresh year ahead 🤍 I am excited to update you on what I’ve been working on throughout this year and what I hope to continue in 2026!

11/21/2025

When your safe place has 4 legs and big ears 🐶💗
Because sometimes we need a companion who meets us exactly as we are. No words or solutions necessary, just closeness 🥰

But I also want to honour something real: not everyone has a safe person or being to turn to—and many people truly believe they never will. If that’s you, I want to gently offer you this…

Safety isn’t only something we find in others. It’s also something we slowly learn to build inside ourselves.

It starts with tiny moments:
When you soften instead of shame yourself.
When you listen to your needs instead of pushing through.
When you offer compassion to the parts of you that have been hurt, guarded, or misunderstood.

External connection absolutely matters, deeply. Humans are wired for it.
But internal safety matters too. It’s the place we return to even when no one else is available. It’s the voice inside that says, “I’m here. I won’t abandon you.”

Whether your safe place has 4 legs, 2 legs, or exists quietly within you… you deserve connection that lets you breathe, settle, and feel alive again.

You’re not behind. You’re not hopeless.
You’re learning safety—inside and out—and that’s courageous work 💪🙌🩷

11/20/2025

Little too pumped about this galaxy light 🤪💗

Check out katiepalframanmsw’s video.

11/19/2025

10/07/2025

“Little t” traumas are often brushed off, minimized, or left unspoken. They’re the moments of feeling dismissed, misunderstood, and invalidated.
But those moments matter — they shape how safe we feel in relationships.
It’s possible to love someone and feel hurt by them.
It’s possible to name those wounds and move forward in new ways.
Healing doesn’t erase the past — it changes the story going forward. ✨