Shift Counselling

07/26/2025

New substack post. Link in bio

05/03/2025

https://open.substack.com/pub/juliehughes/p/the-lightness-of-being?r=eiu4f&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=true

Tracking Resilience and Joy in a world saturated in trauma

01/20/2025

For any woman who has been through the birthing process I highly recommend this 1 day workshop being facilitated by 3 amazing women and Birth Doulas here on Bowen Island. Their level of integrity, skill and wisdom is exceptional and this experience will help mark and deepen your experience of motherhood no matter where you are in the journey. Email weavingthewomb@gmail.com to register. Space is limited as they want to keep the container small and intimate.

12/19/2024

New substack

11/29/2024

Being a couples therapist for the past 15 years has taught me a lot about relationships. Here's one of the main patterns I observe when working with couples...

11/24/2024

Let's talk about shame... This is often a hard one for therapists as most people want to run as far away from shame as possible. Trauma therapy taught me that healing shame is an essential part of reclaiming parts of our authentic self.

11/24/2024

Sharing this as a response to another therapist's thread around why we judge ourselves for being "self-centered". Self-judgement is just another form of self-abandonment. We learned to self-abandon when something felt too overwhelming to cope with. Trauma + Shame are deeply entwined - you cannot have one without the other. I always try to work with people's shame directly and head on. It's the aftershock of trauma and we all carry it. The more I processed my own shame/trauma the less I self-abandoned and instead learned to self-soothe and co-regulate with my inner child. Self-soothing wasn't available to most of us when we were young so we relied on co-regulation with our caregivers. If that wasn't available to us we would turn inwards and learn to self-abandon but we were actually just unable to cope or tolerate the overwhelming sensations. We weren't abandoning ourselves we were abandoning the overwhelming feelings in our body. Self-compassion begins by being a compassionate witness to all parts of us. Particularly the self centered parts as they are just our undeveloped inner child that didn't get the container it needed to hold all the overwhelming emotions and sensations.

11/15/2024

Our new website is now live: have a look and see what we offer; in person counselling, online sessions in the US and Canada, couples work, grief counselling and trauma therapy. With over 30 years combined experience we offer strong support and capable guidance to help you navigate life's challenges and turn them into opportunities for growth and resilience:

Shift Counselling North Vancouver is a practise with 15+ years of experience in Couples Therapy, Grief Therapy, Somatic Therapy & Trauma Counselling.

10/14/2024

I want to talk about relationships....

As a trained Couples Counsellor with 15 years experience I've seen some things...

Mainly I've realized that as far as relationships go, we are all more similar than we are different...

2 patterns I've noticed consistently over my career in working with couples is this:

1. We will inevitably come up against our early attachment wounds in our adult, intimate relationships. Many people see this as a sign that there's "something wrong" or perhaps think they are no longer "compatible" with their partner...

But this simply isn't true!

• Relationships are deep, sacred and profoundly healing
• We can't avoid our patterns and core wounds
• Relationships are Rites of Passage
• Real, sustainable relationships require cycles of birth and death
• Dismantling patterns of codependency is part of that
• No one is coming to save you but yourself
• Healing relationships require us to learn how to parent the wounded parts of us

2. Not all relationships make it. The end game doesn't and shouldn't be about staying together at all costs. Our culture is changing, and so is the way we think and act out our relationship paradigms.

• One of the hardest things to do in a relationship is realize when it's time to walk away
• We need to actively work at dismantling generational trauma and cultural conditioning when it comes to our relationships
• Being able to endure discomfort is one of the KEY skills in any relational dynamic
• Intimacy is grown up work, most of us were wounded in our early attachments and for many, feeling true safety and deep intimacy will actually terrify us
• Chasing the high intensity love is not sustainable, it's repeating trauma bonds

If you're struggling in relationships know that you are not alone. In fact I'd even go as far to say that people who don't find relationships hard are likely in an avoidant pattern and a lack of conflict or discomfort does not equate to health.

Recognize that relationships are hard work and sometimes the help of a third party can strengthen and create more support for the container when we are also dealing with so much subconscious patterning.

10/14/2024

I am so thrilled to welcome Heather to the Shift Counselling team 🎉👏

Heather brings with her 25 years experience in the therapy field. Fun facts about Heather:

• She has years experience working in music therapy
• She's a hard working of 4 kids! (ages 8-20)
• She's also the parent of an adopted child
• Heather has been married for 25 years, which we know is no easy feat 👏
• She's experienced in later life transitions and end of life work with families
• She works with couples and individuals

Heather is warm, inviting and has a calm and steady presence. We hit it off immediately as she's approachable, kind and easy to talk to.

You will be in excellent hands with her and she's available now to see individuals and couples online Mondays and Fridays. Book here: https://shift-counselling.janeapp.com/

I am thrilled to have her join the team!