10/08/2025
I wanted to share some thoughts on the importance of limits and boundaries in helping children understand expectations and develop their understanding of others.
When I work with a child, I typically establish a few key expectations:
"Keeping ourselves and the room safe."
"Meeting for a specific amount of time."
"Tidying up the room at the end of our special time together."
Within these boundaries, children are free to explore and express themselves as long as it's safe. While setting limits is a normal part of a play session, it doesn't happen very often in my experience.
Examples of setting a limit and setting the expectations might include:
"Zoe is not for hitting. You can choose to throw the ball softly towards Zoe, or you can choose to throw the ball hard towards the wall."
"The sand stays in the box."
"You are very upset that our special time together is over today and you really want to continue playing, but it is time to finish now."
These moments of setting limits are valuable opportunities to observe a child's tolerance levels and understand their struggles in real-time. They also provide a chance to repair the relationship, as children learn to trust that their feelings are accepted and that the relationship remains intact even when limits are established. This process also helps children develop a sense of their own boundaries—how far they can push—and an understanding of others' boundaries, such as "Hmm, Zoe is not comfortable with me throwing the ball hard towards her."
When we clearly communicate our boundaries and what we will do, it helps children learn their own limits. For instance, if a child continues to throw a ball at me after a limit has been set, I might introduce an ultimate limit, such as: "Hmm, you really want to throw the ball hard on Zoe, and Zoe is not for hitting. If you choose to throw the ball hard towards Zoe, Zoe will end this game." If the child continues once more, I would calmly state: "You chose to hit Zoe, so you chose to end the game." This approach helps children develop self-control, accountability, and responsibility.
As the owner of Expressive Minds Therapy, my vision is to provide tailored and developmentally appropriate services taking into consideration the uniqueness of each child and the uniqueness of their family. My passion for the parents to access the most fitting information and support for their family as early as possible and for children to build their confidence and resilience to manage the ups and downs of life.
Reach out to us to learn more about our services www.expressive-minds.com
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