06/22/2022
I am panting at the top of the steep short hill. My hip flexors are burning, my legs are shaking, and my face is bright red. I can barely control my breathing enough to take a sip of water. Embarrassed, I wonder again whether I will make it to the end of this trail. One of my ‘dark sides’ is now obvious to my companions- my physical fitness is poor.
What other negative attributes are coming to light in this scenario? I see: not feeling capable to speak up or ask for my needs (to slow down); shaming myself for not being able to keep up; letting my emotions (shame, fear) run the show in the moment.
In truth, we all have negative attributes (sometimes called our ‘shadow side’), and generally we are more able to recognize them than our positive attributes (!). Recognizing them, however, does not equal dealing with them. We tend to ignore them until they pop up (again), ruminate about them, and blame ourselves for them.
Just as for positive attributes, there is empowerment in accepting our less-than-stellar qualities. Acceptance helps us see our humanity, and gives us a sense of belonging to the larger human circle. It also is a more stable platform from which to launch personal growth and change.
"THE CURIOUS PARADOX IS THAT WHEN I ACCEPT MYSELF JUST AS I AM, THEN I CAN CHANGE." ~CARL ROGERS
Acceptance is a skill that we can develop.
Coaching can help if you feel stuck with this, unsure where to start, or need some assistance with motivation and accountability to help you stay on track. Get in touch if you’d like to explore this further.