12/06/2025
I experienced ableism today, dropping my kids off to school. Here’s why some folks might be afraid to self-advocate… ♿️🚌🌻
Hey everyone,
Today, something happened that really highlighted a crucial issue for me, and I wanted to share it, not just for myself, but for anyone who might struggle with self-advocacy, especially those navigating new or invisible disabilities. 🌻♿️🌻
This morning, while dropping my kids off, I parked my car in a designated accessible parking space – a space I have a valid permit to use. What followed was a truly disheartening encounter with a driver from a local company, operating an adapted minivan. This driver, a woman, loudly and rudely lectured me for using "her" space, in front of a child passenger. As if that wasn't enough, she then intentionally blocked my car, preventing me from leaving, stating I'd be stuck there "as long as she wants to because she also has a parking sticker." 😵💫🚍🚙
The irony isn't lost on me: a driver of an adapted bus, seemingly unaware of the very principles of accessibility, choosing to publicly shame and obstruct someone for using a legitimate accessible parking spot. This kind of interaction is precisely why many people, especially those with newly acquired chronic illnesses or disabilities, might hesitate to use the accommodations they need or to speak up when their rights are infringed upon. It's embarrassing, it's intimidating, and it feels like a violation. 🌻
This incident was a stark reminder that we can't assume what others are going through. Not all disabilities are visible, and accessible parking permits are issued based on genuine need, not a popularity contest. Most importantly, it underscores the profound importance of kindness and leading by example. What message does this send to the child on the bus, or to any child witnessing such behavior? Empathy and respect should be universal. 🫂
So, let's talk about self-advocacy. If you've ever felt that pit in your stomach when you need to speak up for yourself, you're not alone. Here are a few tips I've learned, and some ways we can all be better allies:
Tips for Confident Self-Advocacy:
* Know Your Rights: Familiarize yourself with local laws and regulations regarding accessibility, accommodations, and discrimination. Knowledge is power!
* Keep Documentation Handy: Always have your accessible parking permit visible. For other situations, having medical notes or official documents readily available can be helpful.
* Practice Your Script: If you anticipate a difficult conversation, mentally rehearse what you want to say. Short, clear statements can be very effective.
* Choose Your Battles (Wisely): It's okay to step back if you're not in a safe space or feeling overwhelmed. Advocacy doesn't mean you have to fight every single battle immediately. You can always follow up later, as I did with a formal complaint.
* Find Your Support System: Lean on friends, family, or support groups. Sharing your experiences can validate your feelings and give you strength.
How to Advocate for Others (Be an Ally!):
* Educate Yourself: Learn about different disabilities and the challenges people face. The more you know, the better you can understand and support.
* Listen Actively: If someone shares their experience, truly listen without judgment or interruption. Believe them.
* Speak Up When You See Something: If you witness ableist behavior, a simple "Excuse me, they have a right to be here" or "That's an accessible parking spot, not 'your' spot" can make a huge difference. Don't be afraid to politely but firmly challenge assumptions.
* Offer Practical Support: Ask, "How can I help?" instead of assuming. It could be offering to retrieve an item, holding a door, or simply standing by someone's side.
* Amplify Voices: Share posts like this one! Help spread awareness and educate your network.
Let's work towards a world where empathy is the default, and everyone feels safe and respected using the accommodations they need.
