08/04/2025
LONG POST ALERT. It’s been a week since I hosted a Sacred Awakening Retreat at my house and it’s taken some time to process my thoughts and excitement.
I feel so much gratitude, joy, love, clarity, peace since having my very close friend Jenny from Nevada share her many skills and insights as a Shaman to facilitate our group of 15 through our shamanic awakenings and healings. Many of us were blown away with the range of emotions we felt. From laughing hysterically, to emotional releases, to realizations about what we were holding onto that wasn’t the truth nor needed. I have never felt that relaxed in my life nor that range of emotions and releases. I see, taste, hear & feel better. Wow! And as for time and rules- who made them and who cares!
We set intentions going in of what we wanted to let go of and what we want to usher in. My goal was to let go of perfectionism and self judgement and judgment of others. I realized how I strived so hard in the past to have a perfect house, perfect yard, perfect body…
How fu***ng exhausting and pointless really?! No matter how perfect it was there is always something that still needs to be cleaned, still needs to be done, still still still. What I needed was “stillness” to quiet the hell down. This was the gift Jenny and this retreat of handpicked kindred spirits did for me. It allowed me to really relax, get out of my own way, release control, to not give a s**t for once in my life. So many people need to experience this! I surrendered. It’s not for everybody, some people aren’t able or ready to face themselves.
And guess what? I finally achieved the goal I have been seeking since Dylan died. True connection. I got rid of lingering grief and it wasn’t pretty. In a private session before the retreat started I released more grief, I wailed, tears came hard and fast, my nose was so congested with fluids I had to sit up and blow my nose so I could breathe. WTF, I thought I had cried away my grief and moved so far from that day.
Then I heard it. The best gift of my life. I heard my son’s voice yell “mom”. I looked at Jenny and I asked her if she heard it and she said yes. It was his voice. Undeniable! That made me so relieved!! I have been trying so hard to connect with him. He has been here all along! I have seen signs, I have been meditating, praying, doing a daily lesson with Jesus with the “course in miracles”, I have been tuning myself with tuning forks to raise my vibration, I have been asking angels, God, Jesus, spirit Guides, Dylan, ancestors and my higher self for 3.5 years to connect with Dylan.
Furthermore, I learnt Reiki and trained as a Universal Healer, I have taken courses, listened to hundreds of spiritual podcasts, read so many books and even wrote a book on grief to help me grow through grief and reflect on life, I have spent so much more time in nature, I started a new home based business of healing and have a larger closer group of spirit friends. I started a FB group to Unite the Light of lightworkers. I journalled my grief journey, I took off my superwoman cape and became a nobody, in no time, no care of performing as a leader anymore.
And IT HAPPENED! My life has changed. I am in awe. Life is so sweet. I owe so much to Jenny, my friends for supporting me, my family for keeping me honest and calling me on my s**t. Yes I still need work but hey who doesn’t? One day at a time. Little by little.
I am inspired to continue my self growth journey, more hosting of retreats, helping others with grief, pain and suffering. Suffering is a choice. Choose easy. It’s better trust me! Namaste! Thanks to all of you who read this. It means you care. ❤️
, , ,
