05/10/2025
I worship
On this altar
Through destruction
I pray for mercy, forgiveness, compassion
I beat it out of what took it from me
The cost in the ruins of
My walls
I break
Let me in the ring, coach
I’ll fight me off myself
“You’ve got 30 minutes.”
Sacred rage as an offering, an exchange, a conversion
No need to hide from my humanity, my aggression, my bitterness, my resentment, my grief
Their combination culminates into a sum greater than its parts
We culturally call this “qahr”
I’ve tied myself to the devil, you don’t need to know why
Don’t need to know how I’m not actually tied
I refuse to play by your rules
I’ve mastered the game of life a thousand times
I can tell you this world isn’t made for it
This isn’t the only world of it
I operate in parallels and they coincide
Everything at the right time
Do not conform to the patterns of this world
Transform yourself through the renewing of your mind
Peel the layers
Break the vases and appliances
Pay an extra $20 to smash a laptop that reminds you of him
You will find
“The tantrum of a child, so loud and fierce and uncontained”
Both opponents emerge as one, as me, victorious, transformed
I have set the price of this transmutation
I value my power pricelessly
The collective’s trash
A village of value
A bin of gifts
To me, from us
The world has decided they want to see this, see me
See treasure come from what they couldn’t keep
I agree to the container that contains me
It accepts, invites, welcomes, allows
It knows nothing of torture or agony
The door is kept open to the world in which I have suffered
I will see it differently when I leave
The future memory sustains me timelessly
How can I have faith with such certainty
Because I have certainty with such faith
I broke
the glasses
of shame
of hate
you wore
on me
The high priestess clawed her way out of hell with a baseball bat
Her altar
A cemetery
Of everyone she used to be
