04/10/2026
This was my email from Dr Gabor Mate team this morning and worth sharing on Self Compassion š
In 2021, at the Tokyo Olympics, world class gymnast Simone Biles stepped away from most of her events due to her mental health. At the time, it was a shock to the public. An athlete at her level was expected to push through, to perform, to hold it all together.
But something deeper was happening. Simone was experiencing the ātwisties,ā a loss of spatial awareness that made continuing dangerous. She felt lost in the air on a jump, unable to differentiate between a 1.5 and a 2.5 twist, risking severe injury if she continued.
This happens when the body and mind are out of sync. When interviewed shortly afterwards, she said, āI know I am going to be fine, but I know I would risk a medal for the team, and I need to call it. Iāll usually persevere and push through things, but not to cost the team a medal.ā
Simone has spoken openly about trauma, and the sexual abuse she experienced by former team doctor Larry Nassar. She said, āYou canāt compress trauma foreverā, and recognized the twisties as a physical manifestation of trauma and mental injury. She rightfully assigned blame to Larry Nassar, and the entire system that enabled and perpetrated his abuse.
Then she sought help from a therapist, stating, "It's OK to say 'I need help,' and there's nothing wrong with that," paving the way for others to share what happened to them and also seek help.
In the Olympic Games in Paris in 2024, Simone made a comeback with three gold and one silver medals. She is now the most decorated gymnast in history.
Many of us have an inner voice that says, āI should be able to handle this,ā or āI am letting people downā and we risk or deny our own well-being to meet othersā expectations, or a belief in how we ought to show up. This kind of self-judgment could have been life-threatening in Simoneās case, and may be dangerous for some of us. How often do you push through something, without listening to your bodyās needs? Are you able to reach out for help when your body and mind are out of sync?
Self-judgment, and the need to perform and show up no matter what, can be a response to childhood trauma. When young children are not accepted for who they are, and are validated for performance rather than for simply being themselves, they learn that survival depends on meeting othersā expectations. Then the inner critic comes online to keep us safe, to help us meet those expectations. Once we recognize this, it is possible to befriend the inner critic, and to meet it with recognition, acceptance and curiosity. Non-judgement is about noticing the judgment without becoming it. It is the moment we can say, āI am having this thought,ā instead of āThis is who I am.ā
Once we separate from identification with the thought, curiosity becomes possible. We can ask what the judgment is protecting, what it learned long ago, and what it needs now.
Acceptance is the antidote to self-judgment. It means that we allow ourselves to name, express and honour what is true for us, without turning against ourselves in the process.
Throughout the month, we invite you to explore questions such as:
What do I notice in my body when acceptance is present?
When itās not, what am I believing about myself at that moment?
How does acceptance, or the lack of it, affect how I show up with others?
When is self-judgment harming me, and what is its impact?
Warmly,
The Compassionate Inquiry Team
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