The Oasis: Pastoral Counselling

09/17/2024

Have you ever given a gift that wasn’t received well? Ever been surprised by a negative response to a gift, a token of your love, that you gave? Or perhaps you are the person who received the gift; perhaps it was something you did not see as so special or worthy of thanks. You may have even replied in protest, “I don’t like this. I hate this! Don’t you know what I like? Why didn’t you give me what I desired?”
There are many reasons our gifts aren’t accepted so kindly. If we knew that we would get such a negative response we probably wouldn’t have bought anything for them! And there are possibly many reasons we don’t buy what someone expects us to buy for them. We perhaps have read them wrong. Maybe they seemed to cherish the same things, so we bought on those grounds. Or maybe we bought for someone because we thought they needed the item. They wouldn’t buy it for themselves, we think, so let’s spoil them. Or maybe the person has everything, and we feel since they have everything let’s give them something we value. The problem is we never know exactly how others will respond to our gifts. Even though we have good intentions, the person might not extract “good” out of the gift given. Perhaps the gift didn’t fit them. Was it the wrong colour? The wrong size? Or just not what they would wear? Sometimes even no response to your gift was the response; hmm?
Have you ever experienced any of that? Well recently, I gave someone I love dearly some small tokens of my love. They weren’t new items. But mementos of our joint history with a person we loved who had passed away. The items were old, but I had kept them for the past 30 years because they were invaluable to me. I never thought for a second that the person I gifted them to would respond as they did.
They were hurt. Their hurt resulted in my feeling hurt. It was painful and I thought to myself, “Perhaps I will never give another gift”. It makes it so much easier if you don’t give anything, doesn’t it? You can’t get hurt if you don’t venture an attempt, or risk and give of yourself whether it be an inanimate gift or some personal service.
I was struggling with these thoughts and wondered what the deeper meaning behind this ordeal was. What was I to learn from this? What was the bigger picture?
Then I saw it. The insight came from a personal experience of my own that I had recently. I had received something in this time frame from God. He had given me a gift – an answer to a prayer. But I didn’t like it! In fact, I hated what He gave me. Have you ever disliked or maybe even hated something God gave you? Or that He did for you, or handed to you? It wasn’t what you wanted. Did you ever even consider this might be a gift? Further, did you throw out some direction you sought from God, that He finally gave you? Did you ignore His wisdom He gave in answer to a prayer? Did you loathe the position, the job He offered you? Or rejected the partner or friend He gifted to you - because they weren’t dressed in beautiful wrapping? Or perhaps someone else got the gift you wanted from God. You found yourself jealous of this person; a person that maybe you didn’t even know. They got what you wanted! They got YOUR GIFT! Oh, the anger, oh the rage.
Did you question even if God loved you? Or did you think maybe He really didn’t know you or know what you liked or what you wanted. For God to have given you such a gift! A big fat “No”! It couldn’t be His gift! There was a mistake made. There had to be. Or maybe God didn’t love you; oh, that was it. He couldn’t possibly love you because He didn’t give you what you wanted.
Has God ever taken something from you that you wanted and prayed for? You could taste it, feel it and envision it? Then God had gave you some other gift instead. You may not have even seen it as a gift. Maybe you trashed it because you didn’t know what earthly good it was for you.
Because my friends, that is the problem. We think we know everything. We think we know what is best for us and what is good for us. How could God possibly know what is good for us? But if God is a good God who loves us to the moon and back maybe we need to change our perspective.
I had to do that recently. And this horrible situation with this person who didn’t receive my gifts well was actually A GIFT TO ME, in disguise!
“What do I mean,” you ask? Well my surprise at the rejection I received at the gift I gave this person made me dig deeper. What was God trying to say to me? Then God showed me. I saw from this situation how I had done the same thing to God. His gift was an answer to my prayer, but His answer was “no”. Ever pray for someone to live but they died anyways? Ever pray for someone to get over a sickness but they kept on suffering for years with the same pain they were in before you prayed for them. Or maybe you prayed for a person to come into your life, but you were still alone after 5 years of praying. Maybe you asked for a baby, but it never birthed life outside your imaginations!
No matter what you prayed for God’s answer, His gift, may not have been what you wanted. How did you respond? I have to tell you I did not respond well to His gift of “NO”. I MURMURED AND COMPLAINED. That was my response to His gift to me. I realized I didn’t see the gift I received from GOD’S viewpoint. My response was like the person I loved who didn’t see what was in my heart when I gave what I did.
The lesson I learned: God loves me. God wants what is best for me and everything He gives; every good and perfect gift comes from God above. You may not see it as good and perfect gift, what He gave you. No, nor did I. But the lesson I learned was; when I respond negatively to what God gives me, I am saying that He doesn’t love me, He doesn’t know what is best for me, and His gift isn’t a good and perfect gift from my Father in heaven. I realized too, how I must have hurt my Father God with my complaints about the gift He chose for me. I recognized I needed to ask God to forgive me for my reactions to His will and ways for me, which I often don’t agree with!
And on our more earthly plain of existence I decided I can’t change the way someone responds to my gifts. I can only change my response to what God gives me. I have learned a lesson not to murmur and complain to God at His gifts even when He says, “NO”. I have decided to be thankful no matter what gift He hands me. Because behind the gift is the GIVER who loves me, wants the best for me, and so His gift, however it is wrapped, is His good and perfect will for me!

08/18/2024

Don't forget to sign up for either of our courses: Robin's senior instructions for gaining basic computer skills or my course, Making Peace with Your past, for healing old wounds. They are listed below here on the Oasis Pastoral Counselling.

Send a message to learn more

08/11/2024

The Oasis Pastoral Counselling Fall Course Schedule
The Oasis offers pastoral counselling dealing with grief, marriage, relational issues and day to day issues. Counselling costs are a minimum of a $20 an hour donation. However, no one will be refused counselling, and a freewill offering of any amount will be accepted. Hours of operation are flexible with appointments available during both day and evening hours. Meetings can be in person (preferred) or arranged online using Facebook Messenger.
This fall the Oasis will be offering the course Making Peace with Your Past once again. This inner healing course deals with looking at childhood griefs and grievances from our past that hold us back in the present. It will be in a private confidential setting. The theologically based course is reserved for four students only. It is an intimate 1 ½ to 2-hour course that runs once a week for 12 weeks. It will begin Sept 10th on Tuesday mornings and run from 10-12noon. It will finish in December. Because it is such a small class and deals with personal issues weekly attendance is vital and required to gain the full impact for healing. To encourage a 12-week commitment a freewill offering is required. It will be $20 a week x 12 weeks ($240), paid in advance, by e-transfer or cash. As well, the participants will be required to purchase the course book from The Oasis for an additional $25.
The Oasis will also be doing a Bible Study in the fall. There is no charge for the course but there is limited seating. The study is on Monday mornings. This fall’s topic is on Prayer. Please message me, Margaret Thomson, or email me for more information.
As well, the Oasis will be offering a basic computer course geared for seniors this fall. My husband Robin will run this 10-week course for an hour a week. It will break down the myths, fears, and confusions surrounding today’s high-tech devices. It will begin with the basic fundamentals and graduate to more everyday topics in a clean, unsophisticated language which will aid even the newest computer novice. Some of the topics include but are not limited to:
• Basic computers
• Searching On-line
• Computer security both online and off • Maintaining your Device
• Installing Programs
• Windows Updates and more
The classes are small – there is a limit of 5 persons per group and more classes will be added as the need arises. The duration of each class will be approximately 1 hour in length. The course fee is $200 for the 10 weeks paid by cash or E-transfer. It will commence on Thursday September 12th at 10:00am. Please bring your computer!
For more information and to sign up for the computer course contact Robin Thomson at countryhamlet@eastlink.ca or on Facebook Messenger https://m.me/robin.thomson.186.
Contact Information for Counselling, or the 12-week course: Making Peace with Your Past, or the Bible Study contact Margaret Thomson using Private Messenger on Facebook or email at countryartist2019@yahoo.com.

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07/10/2024

P**f – They are Gone! They are Nothing
I am reminded this morning of Isaiah 41. It strengthens me and gives me hope that God is in us and for us against our enemy. Specifically Isaiah 41:15,16 speaks to me of what all our trials and troubles do in us to mature us into full grown individuals strong in His might.
Just listen to what Isaiah 41 says God is making of you!
15 “Behold, I have made you a new, sharp threshing sledge with double edges;
You will thresh the mountains and pulverize them,
And will make the hills like chaff.
16 “You will winnow them, and the wind will carry them away,
And the storm will scatter them;
But you will rejoice in the LORD,
You will glory in the Holy One of Israel. Isaiah 41:15-16
Did you realize that you are God’s sharp threshing sledge with double edges? Did you know that you thresh and pulverize your mountains – your obstacles and make the hills – your challenges - like chaff? Just imagine blowing on them with the breath of God and “P**f”, they are gone! They are Nothing! So, why do we fear, as God’s precious children, when it is God who lives in us? And it is God who strengthens us and upholds us with His righteous right hand?
When our knees feel weak beneath us, we are to remember that God is holding us up. – so “strengthen your weak knees” (Hebrew 12:12) with these words! Gain strength from these promises of Isaiah that we are not alone in facing our enemies. We are to look around and see those who are angered at us will be the ones “shamed and dishonoured” (Isaiah 41:11). Those who have contended with us and challenged us will be as “nothing and perish” (Isaiah 41:11) – just like those mountains and hills.! Where are those who war against you? They are as “nothing and non -existent” (Isaiah 41:12).
There is that word “nothing” written twice. Those who contend with you will be as nothing and those who war against you will be as nothing, as well. They will be as nothing and perish and non-existent!
In the war against flesh and blood what is it that separates us from the love of God? Nothing! That word echoes over and over in response to Romans 8 and the three questions: “If God is for us, who is against us ((Romans 8:31-32)?, “ Who will bring a charge against God’s elect” (Romans 8:33) ? and finally “Who will separate us from the love of Christ? Will tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? Romans 8:35?
And that answer – needs to be recalled. “For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, 39 nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord”. Romans 8:38-39
All that indicates a big NOTHING will separate you from God’s love. Not this trial you are going through. Not the distress at a friend or relation. Not even life or death can separate you from God’s love. Romans 8 seems to agree with Isaiah 41 as it gives the winning power punch with these words:
“But in all these things we overwhelmingly conquer through Him who loved us” (Romans 8:37).
So my message today to you and myself is that you and I are more than conquerors – we overwhelmingly conquer! Through Him! Who loves us!