Humber Doula Services

06/08/2023

"Hold the mother, not the baby" 💥

Hold the mother, not the baby.⁣⁣
⁣⁣
Because the baby’s being taken care of—⁣⁣
fed, snuggled, and given all the love in the world—⁣⁣
by not only the mother,⁣⁣
but her partner, grandparents, siblings, cousins, and friends.⁣⁣
⁣⁣
But the mother,⁣⁣
may have gaps in her mind from lack of sleep,⁣⁣
may be mechanical in her motions as she’s healing,⁣⁣
may feel more like a mess than a mother,⁣⁣
may be sitting in bed, crying, feeling overwhelmed in her body and life,⁣⁣
may be full of mom guilt because in her mind, "she's not good enough,"⁣⁣
and she’s bleeding, wincing in pain, swollen and emotional.⁣⁣
⁣⁣
And the mother’s that baby's whole world and needs to be seen, so she doesn't disappear into that postpartum fog.⁣⁣
⁣⁣
So, hold the mother, not the baby.⁣⁣
⁣⁣
A mother agrees that her baby matters more.⁣⁣
But she’s hurting, while she’s the person behind the baby,⁣⁣
in the background, making it all happen:⁣⁣
feeding her baby at all hours,⁣⁣
snuggling her baby close to comfort newborn cries,⁣⁣
and being that baby’s everything.⁣⁣
⁣⁣
So, it’s the mother who needs your love.⁣⁣
⁣⁣
And a mother will remember who held her up.⁣⁣
⁣⁣
So instead of “I’m coming to see the baby,”⁣⁣
try saying, “I’m coming to see you 𝘢𝘯𝘥 meet the baby, too.”⁣⁣
⁣
Because the mother needs to be held more.

Words: Living FULL

________________
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
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03/20/2023

The International Association of Professional Birth Photographers recently announced its 11th annual contest winners.

03/01/2023

NEW START DATE: Sunday, 5 March 2023
Join me this winter for Prenatal Yoga .breathe.grow Yoga Studio ❤️
What to expect: Weekly themes related to pregnancy and child birth, traditional movement exercises, yoga postures, and breathwork plus meditations and relaxation to support you on your childbearing journey 🤰❤️
DM or contact me via the deets on the post to sign up 🧘‍♀️🙏

11/12/2022

100%!

(As someone who's raised 3 into adulthood and couldn't be closer to them), please don't buy into all those guilt-inducing "you'd better savor every moment" messages out there!

11/10/2022

"I miss you"

Three words that came out of Sam's mouth that nearly broke me.

We were deep in the trenches of first time parenthood, and I was struggling. Struggling with the transition to motherhood, with the intense loss of identity I felt, and the torturous sleep deprivation that had turned me into a walking zombie.

But I hadn't thought about how my husband was feeling. We often forget the dads.

Sam was struggling in his own way. Parenthood was a huge adjustment for him and his world also got flipped upside down.

I remember the moment he told me he missed me three and a half years ago. Every detail. I remember where we were and what we were wearing.

I felt so guilty. I was so caught up in 'me', that I'd forgotten about him.

We had a bit of a cry before I whispered back,
"I miss you too" 💗

We've had each other's back ever since, and I wouldn't be the mum I am now without his support, and he wouldn't be the dad he is without mine.

So thank you to my rock, my love, my world. What a ride this thing called parenthood has been.

Today is Day 5 of Perinatal Mental Health Week, and it's about acknowledging the dads and non-birthing partners who struggle too. Around 1 in 10 dads suffer from perinatal depression and anxiety, and don't get me started on the work we need to do to shatter the stigma that still surrounds men being emotional and vulnerable.

Rural dads. All dads. We love you 💗

Steph x
Founder & CEO, Motherland

Perinatal Mental Health Week
Gidget Foundation

08/04/2022

And this is why I offer fourth trimester support. Weekly check-ins for venting, information, what the heck is going on, a neutral chat 💛

Moms never stop needing support.

When she first has her baby, the support floods in from everywhere.

But then, after that first few weeks, everyone seems to disappear.

The texts checking in
stop.

The offers to babysit so she can take a nap
disappear.

But mommy never stops needing support.

She needs someone to call when she’s on the bathroom floor, face streaked with tears.

She needs someone she can vent to after she deals with an epic tantrum in the grocery store and someone criticizes her parenting.

Not just the beginning, but moms need someone to place them gently back on their feet through all phases of motherhood.
To calm their fears.
To tell them they’re doing a good job.

Because the reality is,
motherhood gets harder and harder.

And she can use someone to hold her hand and tell her they’ve been there and know how frustrating it is to fold laundry and cook dinner when she’s sick,
or to receive a hard diagnosis,
or how difficult the first-time separating is.

And she doesn’t need anyone to step in and do it for her,
she just needs the emotional support.

All moms do.

Because mothers who do that for everyone else deserve to be comforted, too.

So don’t forget to check on her,
Moms never stop needing support.

📸: Amanda Oleander Art
Beautiful Words By Living FULL

07/24/2022

Just need to say it over and over....it's biologically normal for babies to nurse for comfort.

We need to change our thinking around this. Babies were comfort nursing longggg before pacifiers existed.

So babies aren’t using you as a pacifier. They’re using pacifiers as you.

And I’m not hating on pacis - I’m simply trying to adjust our outlook on comfort nursing.

There’s a reason why babies have a strong instinct to suckle - its biologically normal to nurse for comfort.

Background b**b art by my dear friend,

04/30/2022

Dear Husband,

There’s a life in the future with little faces in photo frames instead of before our eyes. Artwork and ABC magnets won’t adorn our fridge, and these old leggings I’m wearing right now will be long gone.

There’s a bed big enough, where little elbows and knees won’t prod us in our sleep, and only our feet will swing out in the morning.

There’s a vase placed in reach of little arms because there aren’t any, and mugs will daringly sit on the edge of the table.

There’s a bank balance that looks a bit more forgiving, a bag I leave with that isn’t overflowing, and it will only take us 10 seconds from the door to the car.

There’s a free calendar that isn’t packed with swimming lessons, dance classes and muddy sports shoes.
And we’ll get to know each other for a third time, before them, with them, and then when only two jackets hang at the door.

There’s a clean car, the only noise is the hum of the radio. There will be no endless questions in a high-pitched voice from the back seat, there may even be days we don’t hear from them at all.

There’s a date night with no curfew, my mums not needed for babysitting, and we aren’t sleeping with one eye open waiting for the shuffle of feet down the hallway. A type of freedom that feels heavy.

There’s a house that’s clean, maybe our couch is new, and we aren’t stepping on Lego or toy cars either. In fact, there’s not much colour anywhere, remember how we hated all the colour? Remember how it came with so much happiness?

There’s a dinner table that feels big, we aren’t negotiating bites of vegetables, or wiping little hands and mouths. But sometimes there’s a knock on the door and the table is full once more.

There’s a shower that doesn’t sound like baby cries, a coffee that is warm and my body will be my own. We won’t wear tired the same way, but time will have aged us anyway.

There will be hard moments to come that will make these moments look easy, but we’ll remember.
We’ll remember the first words, the curls, the “I love you’s” the moments we almost broke, and how we held each other through it. We’ll laugh and we’ll cry just like we did then.

There’s a life in the future and it’s coming for us every day.
So let’s get swept up in the beautiful chaos in front of us.
Let’s make the future wait a little longer.
Because I love this life with you so much,
this one right now.

♥️

Words: Jess Urlichs, Writer from hardback edition of ‘From One Mom to a Mother’ 📖
Shop for Mother’s Day : www.jessicaurlichs.com/shop
Art: Amanda Oleander Art

03/24/2022

Are you worried that your baby or toddler will NEVER fall asleep without the b**b?! Read this...https://themilkmeg.com/my-baby-breastfeeds-to-sleep-how-will-i-ever-be-able-to-leave-them/

02/13/2022

This is one reason why I give postpartum support ❤
And as a birth doula, help everyone prepare for this reality before babe arrives.

It’s all fun and games
And sexy breathing exercises for birth
And romantic plans about how he’ll take the baby
While you do yoga every day

Until you’re 10 days postpartum
Still bleeding and soaked in breastmilk
Riding a roller coaster of hormones and sleep deprivation
And your lovely partner forgets to pick up a smoothie
On his way home from the grocery store

And you lose your sh✨t
Like sobbing into the bathroom sink
Like cursing his mother
Like wondering why you ever procreated with someone capable of such unimaginable selfishness

And then, when the storm has passed,
And you’ve had a snack - you realize
Two shaky, raw, sleep deprived humans
Trying to be life rafts for one another
While sinking into the depths of exhaustion and stress
Keeping the tiniest, most fragile, precious being afloat
Is hard AF

We weren’t meant to do this alone
We were not meant to be sent out to sea
In a tiny little life boat with no map

Even the most loving, stable partnership can sink
Under the weight of operating in survival mode
While finding your footing as parents

So, if you’re out there, treading water
Buried in laundry and breastmilk
Surviving on freezer pizza and three hours of sleep
Thinking mildly unkind thoughts about the person you chose to parent with
Because he can’t seem to calm the baby
Or remember your smoothies
Or grasp the depths of the earth shaking
transition you’re navigating

You’re not alone
And it will get easier
One sleepy, shaky day at a time

Words and Art by Catie Atkinson
Spirit Y Sol
www.linktr.ee/spiritysol