01/14/2026
Grief: Navigating the First Year
I wish I could tell you that after a year of grieving you will be free from the emotional pain of your loss. What I can tell you is that grief has its own timeline based on the relationship you had with the deceased, how that person died, and how you navigate the emotions that surface. Generally, most grievers feel a natural softening of their emotional pain as the days turn into weeks and then months and lead into years.
Though grief is a universal experience, it is also an individual journey, so learning to adjust to your own path is important as you process your loss. Set your own pace and do not get caught up in the timelines of others.
The early days of grief are often met with the griever trying to understand their new reality that no longer includes the physical presence of their beloved. As they mourn, they try to make sense of this shift in their life. Sometimes the griever will refuse to acknowledge the death at some level, and numb their emotions.
It is important to remember that the brain takes time to adjust and will naturally shift to a state of knowing. The brain and the body yearn for the deceased and will often bargain for this loss not to be true. The weight of living a life without the deceased forever seems unimaginable. This knowing brings with it emotions like anger, fear and anxiety.
Eventually, there is a natural shift in emotions as the brain and body come to accept a new permanent reality without a loved one. Often the griever experiences sadness, guilt, and depression. This is followed by acceptance of a new reality and a signaling to the brain and body of the permanence of the death of their beloved, allowing the rebuilding process to begin.
While most grievers generally experience the above journey in the first year of grief, this process is by no means linear; some emotions will resurface and at times they may be quite intense. The timeline of adjustment is complicated and filled with change, transitions, acceptance, and navigating the emotional pain associated with loss. Sometimes the griever will feel they are moving forward, other times they will experience setbacks.
There are many firsts the griever will experience. There is the deceased’s birthday, anniversaries and the one year mark of the loved one’s death. These are times when the absence the deceased is deeply felt. For most people, their life plan and the trajectory of how it will unfold includes hopes and dreams for a future that included the deceased. Grief forces those who grieve to make significant changes to their life expectations.
Over time the griever will begin to rebuild a life where they start to make new memories with those who are living, and the deceased is honoured through stories and reflections from the past. And as they learn to adjust to their loss and absence, their emotional pain eases.
Finding a support system that includes peers who have also experienced a similar loss can be helpful in navigating the first year of grieving. Also, spending time and sharing memories with loved ones can be vital to this adjustment. If this type of support is not available, an experienced grief counsellor can provide education and coaching to help process the experiences of the first year.
Margaret Lorrie Beaton, MA, C. Hyp
Bereavement Counsellor
© Needham-Jay Funeral Home/CFHC Online
