12/10/2025
In my last session, I shared how this forced downtime has me re-evaluating everything ā my life, my goals, my priorities, what I actually want vs. what Iāve been tolerating. You knowā¦ casual Tuesday topics.
And my therapist kept asking me questions that made 0 sense to me. Iām sitting there like, āMaāam, what does any of this have to do with anything?ā
Then at the end she hits me with:
šāHave you ever considered that you might have low self-esteem?ā
Naturally, I said absolutely not ā because hi, have you met me? Iām fantastic.
And she justā¦ stared at me. Then basically tells me that exact sentence is my giant reflective shield so nobody can look deeper. Rude. Accurate. But rude.
She asked if when I go to parties or events, I always try to be useful or helpful ā like I need a purpose to show up instead of just going to socialize. I said āWell yeah, obviously.ā
Cue another long, judgmental therapist stare until I realizedā¦ oh. Oh no. I 100% use work, or being āhelpfulā as my sense of competence instead of just believing that I am enough on my own. Cute.
Then we talked about the things Iāve started but never finished. I blamed ADHD (as one does). She said thatās probably trueā¦ but it might also be fear of failing AND fear of succeeding.
Like maybe when I get too close to finishing, I self-sabotage so I donāt have to face either outcome. Which is honestly rude again, but also annoyingly correct.
Letās just sayā¦ your girl left that appointment shooketh to her core.
All that to say: it took a complete stranger, in one short session, to call out parts of myself Iāve been fully blind to under the guise of āIām fine, actually.ā
Do I still love me? Of course. Am I now apparently working on letting people see the real, weird, quirky, emotional me ā the awkward turtle that I am ā without needing a task to justify my existence?
ā¦unfortunately yes. š
So hereās your reminder:
š We look in the mirror so often that we stop actually seeing ourselves. Sometimes it takes someone else to gently point out the parts we can grow from.
Learning who we are is an ongoing, wild, ridiculous process. Isnāt it fun being a human? š«
