01/30/2026
The cost of being seen is something we don’t talk about enough. When you grow up in chaos or suppressive control, being visible isn’t safe — it’s risky.
So you learn to do it all yourself.
💔 You learn to shrink.
💔 You learn to ‘make it work’ yourself.
💔 You learn to ‘make do’ instead of asking for more.
💔 You learn to deflect praise.
💔 You learn 1000 skills so that you don’t have to ask for help.
💔 You learn to read rooms like your life depends on it (because once, it did).
And then, one day you’re out of the environment, but the habits come with you. People call them “issues” or “patterns” or “walls.”
They’re not flaws. They’re receipts.
They are proof of what you survived.
But they’re there, whether you can recognize them yet or not. What you went through isn’t your fault, but this, the after? It’s your responsibility- and, no, it’s not fair. It’s not fair that you have to fix what you didn’t break, but you deserve to let people love you, and care for you (and come change your light bulb that has been out for six months because you don’t know how to fix it yourself yet 🤷🏻♀️)
Healing isn’t about shaming these parts out of you.
It’s about thanking them… and teaching them that you’re safe now.
As I write this, I need you to know that this message is for me just as much as it is for you. It’s a reminder to myself that those walls are still there and those insecurities still like to show up at the most in opportune time 🫠. As much as it sucks some days - I’m going to keep working on me.
If this hit, you’re not broken — you’re adaptive.
And you don’t have to disappear anymore to be okay.