07/30/2025
Meant to post this a while ago, but alas here it is now. Pre-intergenerational trauma impacts, back in the olden days… We had roles in our community, when we have easier access to purpose, connection, we can share our wealth, our energy, our teachings, our love In a good way. Martin Broken Leg’s “Circle of Courage” is an example of what we need. Spoiler alert: It’s the “BIG M” Belonging, Independence, Generosity, Mastery. Colonization has brought trauma and trauma responses. One such response has been roles we now play in families where there has been addiction, hurt, dysfunction.
🌿 Understanding Family Roles in Dysfunctional Systems 🌿
In families experiencing long-term stress, trauma, or addiction, members often unconsciously take on roles to maintain balance. While these roles may help the family “function,” they can deeply affect individual development and emotional health.
Here are some common unhealthy family roles:
🪶 The Enabler – Often the caretaker, they take on everyone’s problems and shield the family from consequences. They may feel their worth is tied to keeping peace.
🪶 The Hero – The overachiever who works hard to make the family look "normal." They may hide anxiety or perfectionism under success.
🪶 The Golden Child – The favored one, seen as perfect by a parent. This can come with hidden emotional burdens and denial of their authentic self.
🪶 The Scapegoat – Often blamed for problems, this child acts out or rebels—bringing truth to light but being punished for it.
🪶 The Lost Child – The quiet one who avoids attention. They may withdraw completely and struggle to form close relationships.
🪶 The Mascot – Uses humor to defuse tension. Behind the laughs, they may feel overwhelmed, anxious, or unseen.
🧡 These roles are coping strategies, not identities. Healing means stepping out of these roles and reclaiming your full self.
🌊 Let us remember: families are strongest when each person is allowed to be whole, not just a part of a survival pattern. With awareness, we can shift from surviving to thriving.