Vancouver Island Cremations

10/14/2025

09/19/2025

09/15/2025

…carrying you in my heart.

09/10/2025

This morning I did an experiment on my walk. For the first two miles, I listened to everything around me, the cars, leaf blowers, construction, jackhammers, conversations, trains, etc. The noise consumed me. I couldn’t be fully present; my body felt tense, like I was pushing against the world. I was distracted. I was not peaceful. I also noticed that the noise sped up my pace, which would be awesome if that was my intention, but it wasn't.

On the way back, I put on my headphones; no music, or podcasts, or audiobook, just silence. Instantly, I felt my body soften. I noticed the trees, the flowers, and the sky. I was able to simply be. I slowed down.

I have seen this same truth at the bedside of those who are dying. Noise, chatter, and crowds can cause and increase restlessness and agitation. Quiet allows for peace. Even when someone is unresponsive, they still sense energy, voices, and sounds around them.

This is why it matters that you determine whether you want a room full of people at your bedside, or just one or two. Do you want music played, the tv on, someone reading to you, or do you want silence? These choices shape the final moments of your life.

When we are vulnerable, fragile, and tired, quiet can be the greatest comfort. But it really does come down to what you want and what is most important to you. I know I am repeating myself here, but please have this conversation with the people you love.

You cannot still the world around you, but you can choose quiet, and let the peace you seek find you.

xo
Gabby

You might find my book "The Conversation," helpful in getting this conversation started with the people you love:
https://www.amazon.com/Conversation-guide-talking-about-people/dp/B0CZXD4BT4

You might also like my recent blog "Silence," which digs deeper into this similar topic:
https://www.thehospiceheart.net/post/silence

My class "Your End of Life Wishes" can help you to put your wants and wishes in writing:
https://www.thehospiceheart.net/your-end-of-life-wishes

09/03/2025

So much truth in this. 💜
When we don’t share our thoughts about illness, dying, and end-of-life care, our loved ones are left to make assumptions. And often, they fill in the blanks with their beliefs instead of ours — not out of malice, but simply because they don’t know.

This is why starting the conversation matters. Your voice, your choices, your values deserve to be known.

Be clear. Be heard. Don’t leave your wishes unspoken.

Want support to begin? Sign up for a Death Matters Exit Planning Workshop — a safe and compassionate space to explore your values and put your wishes into words.

08/28/2025

Our loved ones live forever in our hearts.

via Luminous Light Studio

{Find help and hope on http://stillstandingmag.com/ }

08/25/2025

The other night I went out to listen to live music when I noticed a woman looking at me. She finally walked over, tears in her eyes.
“Hi Gabby… I’m not sure if you remember me. You were my mom’s nurse when she died seven years ago.”

In an instant, I was taken back to that afternoon, her family fractured, full of denial and grief, yet somehow I found a way to guide them through their mother’s final breaths. I remembered questioning myself that night, wondering if I had done enough.

But standing there, she told me, “If it weren’t for you, we couldn’t have gotten through it. You helped us say goodbye. When you held my hand and said, ‘you’ve got this,’ I carried those words with me. Even now, when life feels too heavy, I remind myself: I’ve got this.”

I walked to my car and sobbed. Because the truth is, I don’t always have the answers. I can’t fix the messiness of grief. But that night reminded me, sometimes the smallest gestures leave the deepest impact. And maybe, just maybe, we make a difference even when we can’t see it.

It’s in moments like these that I realize what my legacy might be. When you work in end-of-life care, it’s not about changing the outcome, it’s about showing up, carrying kindness and compassion, and gently holding space for others in a way that softens the difficult moments they will carry as they move forward.

xo
Gabby
www.thehospiceheart.net

08/15/2025

We like to pause from time to time and take a moment to remember those who have gone before us, those we wish were here. We like to do this by taking a moment in song. Please join us as we hold close in our hearts those who are hurting, those who are grieving, and those whose hearts are full of love for their people who no longer walk this earth. Join us as we listen to the song "Time after Time" sung by Eva Cassidy.

The new orchestral Eva Cassidy album I CAN ONLY BE ME is released 3rd March 2023 https://evacassidy.lnk.to/ICanOnlyBeMeRestored footage of Eva Cassidy perfor...