01/20/2024
The strongest woman I have ever known…
This is domestic violence.
Invisible from the outside.
A simple restructuring of the bones. And this is after the ribs were put back into place.
Life changing. Never to be the same again. This is just from one incident and is just one aspect of abuse. Far worse is the psychological abuse. Even worse, emotional abuse.
If you wondered why I disappeared for 4 years now you know. I was entrenched in warfare in a battle for my life.
This is me.
Correction.
WAS me.
I am no longer that woman. She no longer exists.
I've worked hard to heal my brain and my body. It took about 3 years to become pain free and another 2 to heal my brain from the overproduction of cortisol. My entire being was wounded. My soul torn. I nearly didn't make it. It's been an ever evolving process of repairing and rebuilding since.
Through the experience I constantly sought help. I worked with many professionals including psychologists for 4 years. They listened, they cared, they documented. They were the ones who explained that what I was experiencing was not just a sick partner, but a dangerously abusive one.
But how?
Love. He needed me. Asked for my help daily. As a healer there's no way I'd leave my love in a time of need. That was his hook. Feigning the severity of illness to gain control. Slowly isolating me and removing my supports. Then he removed my ability to earn income. Making me dependent. Stranded. Trapped. It's called financial abuse and it's the longest form of domestic violence. When they can't get to you physically or psychologically or emotionally, they get you financially.
That's what abusers do. They have a formula they follow, a template. They follow the same pattern. As****es.
Now I truly believe most abusers don't want to abuse. I know mine didn't. He hated what he did. He hated himself into loathing. He was riddled with guilt and shame and hasn't slept right in years. For good fu***ng reason. Yet he wouldn't get help either and instead chose to continue to abuse. And chose to continue to drink.
The day came when he said, "Women who are abused eventually turn on their abusers if the abuse doesn't stop. So I'm going to have to kill you before you kill me. I will protect myself at all costs."
Shortly after that, when he was out of town, I moved his things into a storage unit. I had $300 to my name and the storage unit cost $150. Worth every penny.
It's been excruciatingly difficult. But don't you dare feel sorry for me. You may have compassion, empathy, but no pity. We all have traumas and I chose to heal from mine. Turned my wounds into wisdom and now I help you heal too.
I've been free nearly 2 years now. As you've seen from my pics, I'm shining again. I sparkle and feel joy. I laugh and I dance. I move my beautiful healthy body through the world with ease and I play.
And I'm just getting started.
Thank you for being here. Thank you to each and every single person who's booked a session. It is YOU who saw me through. You bought my groceries. You paid my bills. You helped me heal and I'm eternally grateful for you. Thank you for helping me. I truly would not be here without you.
Now. Let me return the favour.
How may I help you?
