It Takes Practice Counseling Services

It Takes Practice Counseling Services We provide counselling and assessment services for children, youth, adults, couples and families in Red Deer, AB

Sheri's favorite books on Attachment: Attached by Amir Levine and Rachel HellerThis is the foundational text for many. I...
05/06/2026

Sheri's favorite books on Attachment:

Attached by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller
This is the foundational text for many. It breaks down the primary attachment styles and explains why certain pairings feel like an uphill battle. It’s a great tool for recognizing your own needs and those of your partner.

Wired for Love by Stan Tatkin
Dr. Tatkin approaches the relationship through a neurobiological lens. He emphasizes the "couple bubble," a pact of mutual protection, and provides practical rituals to help partners regulate each other’s nervous systems during moments of stress.

The Power of Attachment by Diane Poole Heller
Healing is possible regardless of your history. This book focuses on the concept of "Earned Secure" attachment, offering exercises to help process early childhood experiences and develop the capacity for greater intimacy in adulthood.

Secure Love by Julie Menanno
Julie explores the "cycles" that keep couples stuck. This book provides a clear roadmap for moving away from reactive behaviors and toward vulnerable, connective communication.

Understanding your attachment style is the first step. Applying that knowledge is where the practice begins. Each of these resources provides a unique perspective on how to move toward a more secure and grounded way of loving.

Secure attachment is consistency, repair, and a felt sense that you are safe to be yourself in relationship.When someone...
05/05/2026

Secure attachment is consistency, repair, and a felt sense that you are safe to be yourself in relationship.

When someone has a secure attachment, it shows up in small, everyday ways:

They can say what they feel, even when it’s uncomfortable, without immediately fearing disconnection.
They can hear feedback without collapsing into shame or escalating into defensiveness.
They trust that conflict doesn’t mean the relationship is at risk, it means something needs attention.
They reach for support when they need it, and they can offer it without losing themselves.
They respect boundaries without needing to control or withdraw.

In action, secure attachment sounds like:
“I felt hurt when that happened, and I want to talk about it.”
“I need some time to think, but I’m not going anywhere.”
“That didn’t land well for me—can we try again?”
“I care about you, and this matters to me.”

It also looks like repair. Not getting it right all the time, but coming back, taking responsibility, and staying engaged when it would be easier to shut down or pull away.

For many people, secure attachment isn’t where they started. It’s something they learn, practice, and build over time. This can happen in therapy, in relationships, and in moments where they choose to stay present instead of protecting.

It takes practice to trust that you can be known and still be safe. It takes practice to offer that same safety to someone else.

What is an “attachment style”?It’s a pattern of behavior that identifies how you relate in close relationships. here are...
04/30/2026

What is an “attachment style”?

It’s a pattern of behavior that identifies how you relate in close relationships.
here are a few common patterns people identify with:

Secure: You can rely on others and yourself. Closeness feels safe, and so does space.

Anxious: You may worry about being rejected or not enough, and feel a strong pull toward reassurance and connection. You may be hyper-vigilant towards changes in your partner.

Avoidant: You may value independence and find closeness uncomfortable, especially when emotions run high. You may want to escape when tension runs high.

Disorganized: You may want connection but also feel unsure or overwhelmed by it, leading to mixed or shifting responses.

None of these are “good” or “bad.” They are adaptations—ways your system learned to cope and stay connected.

Attachment styles are not fixed.

With awareness, support, and different relational experiences, people can move toward more secure ways of relating over time.

Understanding your attachment style isn’t about labeling yourself. It’s about making sense of your patterns so you can respond with more choice, not just reaction.

What is an “attachment style”?It’s a pattern of behavior that identifies how you relate in close relationships. Attachme...
04/30/2026

What is an “attachment style”?

It’s a pattern of behavior that identifies how you relate in close relationships.

Attachment styles aren’t something you chose. They develop through your experiences of safety, consistency, and emotional support growing up. They tend to show up most clearly in moments that feel uncertain, vulnerable, or emotionally charged.

You might notice your attachment style in:

How you respond when someone pulls away
How easy (or hard) it is to ask for what you need
What happens inside you during conflict
How safe closeness or independence feels

Attachment styles are not fixed or permanent. You may find that with one partner you had more of an anxious attachment style, but in another relationship you had more of an avoidant attachment style. Your attachment style is fluid acting as a nervous system response to safety and proximity.

With awareness, support, and different relational experiences, people can move toward more secure ways of relating over time.

Understanding your attachment style isn’t about labeling yourself. It’s about making sense of your patterns so you can respond with more choice, not just reaction.

Ever wonder why some love songs feel like a warm hug, while others feel like a panic attack?Attachment Theory is written...
04/29/2026

Ever wonder why some love songs feel like a warm hug, while others feel like a panic attack?

Attachment Theory is written into our favorite tunes.
Many of our beloved songs are actually deep dives into how we bond with others.

Here is the breakdown of the four main attachment styles in music:

1. Secure Attachment
Safety, trust, and healthy vulnerability. These songs celebrate when people feel worthy and safe, expose their flaws, and prioritize the relationship, not themselves.

Example: "All of Me" by John Legend

The Lyrics: "Give your all to me, I’ll give my all to you

Why: It’s a balanced exchange. There’s no fear of being "too much" or the partner leaving; just mutual acceptance of "perfect imperfections."

2. Anxious Attachment
Preoccupation with the relationship and a constant fear of abandonment. These are the "don't leave me" anthems.

The Song: "Every Breath You Take" The Police

The Lyrics: "Every breath you take, And every move you make, Every bond you break, Every step you take, I'll be watching you"

Why: It perfectly captures the hyper-vigilance of an anxious attachment style. Ever find yourself monitoring your love interest's social media when they seem "distant" or "off"?

3. Avoidant Attachment
Independence as a defense mechanism. When things get too real or too "mushy," someone with an avoidant attachment style pulls back to protect their freedom.

The Song: "What’s Love Got to Do with It" by Tina Turner

The Lyrics: "Who needs a heart when a heart can be broken?"

Why: It dismisses the importance of emotional intimacy to avoid the pain of vulnerability. It’s the ultimate "I don't need this" anthem.

4. Disorganized (Fearful-Avoidant)
"Come here, now go away." This is characterized by a desire for closeness mixed with an intense fear of it.

The Song: "i hate u, i love u" by gnash ft. Olivia O'Brien

The Lyrics: "I hate you, I love you / I hate that I love you / Don't want to, but I can't put nobody else above you."

Why: It captures the internal war of wanting to be near someone while simultaneously resenting the power they have over your emotions.

At ITP, we feel strongly about the advancement of science in Women's Health. If you are experiencing Perimenopause or Me...
04/22/2026

At ITP, we feel strongly about the advancement of science in Women's Health. If you are experiencing Perimenopause or Menopause, please consider participating in UBC Doctoral Research.

The UBC Sexual Health Research Lab, led by Dr. Lori Brotto, is conducting a national research project examining the negative impact of menopausal symptoms on multiple domains of women's lives.

The purpose of this online study is to identify how midlife Canadian women (aged 39-60) are affected by symptoms of menopause - particularly genitourinary syndrome of menopause (e.g., vaginal dryness, pain during s*x, chronic urinary tract infections, incontinence) and s*xual difficulties.

Findings will be used to inform better treatments to help women who experience significant discomfort due to menopause, as well to improve health care coverage for midline women in Canada. Participation involves completing an online survey.

You may take part if you are: assigned female at birth, between the ages of 39-60 (inclusive), fluent in English, and living in Canada.

Interested in participating? Please click on the link below:
https://ubc.ca1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_bynuCxKQWEoEFls

04/08/2026

A Part of Kristy's Story:

For a long time, I mistook functioning for flourishing.

I could still get the work done, show up for others, and keep the gears turning. I told myself I was fine. Inside, I was living in a state of high-functioning stress. This felt like a constant, buzzing motor that I didn't know how to turn off.

If you’re in this cycle, you know the signs:
I felt disconnected from myself. Checking every box, but I felt like a passenger in my own life.
My mind didn't know how to slow down. Slowing down felt less like self-care and more like an invitation for anxiety.
I was irritable with the people I love because my nervous system was already at its limit.

As a therapist, I had the tools to explain this. As a human, I had to learn the hard way: Just because you can live like this doesn't mean it’s okay.

We’ve been conditioned to praise "high-functioning," but functioning is a survival strategy. Thriving is a state of being.

You weren't meant to be a machine that simply processes tasks and manages stress. You were meant to be present, to feel connected, and to find a version of "calm" that doesn't feel like a threat.

It’s okay to stop "handling it" for a moment and admit that you’re tired of just getting through.

If this resonates with you, please be gentle with yourself. You don't have to push harder, maybe it is time to care for yourself differently.

Meet Kristy Vallentgoed, Registered Psychologist at It Takes Practice Counselling in Red Deer.Kristy offers supportive, ...
04/06/2026

Meet Kristy Vallentgoed, Registered Psychologist at It Takes Practice Counselling in Red Deer.

Kristy offers supportive, tailored therapy for teens, adults, and couples who want space to understand what’s really happening—and gentle guidance toward change. Her approach is grounded in helping you slow down, feel safe, and begin to hear yourself more clearly.

In sessions, Kristy creates a space that is both structured and warm. You’ll have room to breathe, sort through what’s been weighing on you, and make sense of patterns that may be keeping you stuck. Rather than pushing through, the focus is on understanding what’s happening beneath the surface and finding ways to respond with more clarity and ease.

Kristy tends to work well with people who are ready for depth and honesty—those who feel they’ve been surviving for a long time and want something to shift in a more meaningful way. Her work is collaborative and trauma-informed, helping clients feel understood while also supporting steady, sustainable change.

With couples, Kristy helps bring clarity to conversations that feel stuck or reactive. Together, you explore what’s getting in the way of connection, rebuild trust, and practice more open and grounded ways of relating.

Clients often leave sessions feeling more clear, more connected to themselves, and better able to engage in their lives with confidence.

If you’re looking for a space to slow down, understand your experiences, and begin moving forward in a way that feels more manageable, Kristy offers a thoughtful place to start.

Learn more or book a consultation at ittakespractice.ca.

04/01/2026

A Part of Amber's Story:

For a long time, I didn't realize that persevering had become my mode of survival.

I spent years scanning, bracing, and just "getting through" life rather than actually being in it.

I had to learn that this hyper-vigilance didn’t come out of nowhere. It was a skill I developed to stay safe during unpredictable times. But that protection came at a high cost: it made rest feel dangerous and genuine connection feel impossible.

What I’ve learned (both in the chair and in my own life) is that healing isn’t a self-improvement project. You can’t "fix" a nervous system that is just trying to protect you.

Healing starts with safety.

When we finally feel safe and truly understood, those survival strategies can finally stand down. We don't have to live in a constant state of bracing anymore.

There is a way forward where we feel more settled, more connected, and finally, more like ourselves.

If this resonates with you, please be gentle with yourself. You don't have to carry everything alone.

Meet Amber Chamberlain, Registered Provisional Psychologist at It Takes Practice Counselling in Red Deer.Amber offers at...
03/30/2026

Meet Amber Chamberlain, Registered Provisional Psychologist at It Takes Practice Counselling in Red Deer.

Amber offers attuned, grounded therapy for teens, adults, and couples who are looking for a safe space to explore their thoughts, emotions, and physical experiences,and begin creating meaningful change.

Her approach is straightforward and compassionate. Amber pays close attention to patterns and gently shares what she notices, helping you see what may no longer be serving you. At the same time, she brings a deep respect for your resilience—holding space for both your strengths and the areas that feel harder to face.

In sessions, Amber creates an environment where you can slow down, speak openly, and feel genuinely heard. The work often becomes a process of curiosity and discovery, helping you better understand yourself without pressure to have everything figured out. Over time, this can lead to feeling more grounded, more connected to yourself, and more able to respond to life with clarity and self-compassion.

Amber tends to work well with people who feel stuck but are ready to explore their patterns and make active changes. Her work is warm, collaborative, and practical supporting new ways of coping, connecting to your values, and moving toward what matters most.

With couples, Amber helps identify what’s getting in the way of connection, rebuild trust, and support more honest, connection-focused communication.

If you’re looking for a space that feels supportive, steady, and focused on real change, Amber offers a thoughtful place to begin.

Learn more or book a consultation at ittakespractice.ca.

Address

30 Davison Drive
Red Deer, AB
T4R2J3

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Tuesday 9am - 8pm
Wednesday 9am - 8pm
Thursday 9am - 8pm
Friday 9am - 8pm
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