01/28/2026
🕹️ Stopping behaviors without replacing them is like playing Whack-A-Mole. 🕹️
You hit one… and pop! Another one shows up.
This happens daily: a parent asks us, ‘My kid is doing so and so … How do I make it stop?’
The very first thing parents have to understand is that ALL behavior happens for a reason.
If you scratch ➡️ you’re itchy.
If you drink ➡️ you’re thirsty.
If you climb a tree ➡️ maybe you love the view or you’re chasing a thrill.
We never do anything without a purpose; Your child is no exception.
Whether your child tantrums, throws toys across the room, spins things, or plays with water, they DEFINITELY have a reason for doing it.
So ask yourself:
👉 Are they seeking a thrill?
👉 Managing anxiety?
👉 Trying to connect with you?
👉 Escaping something hard?
Here’s the key point 👇
Making them STOP doing what they’re doing won’t make their need disappear. It will just make them look for a different way of meeting that need.
Think about it. If you find yourself craving sugar and find that your husband ate all the ice cream, do you give up and call it a day? No. You settle for cookies instead.
Your kids are no different. If they’re seeking a thrill, they won’t suddenly lose the urge just because you block off access to your 30-foot apple tree.
Instead, they’ll find that thrill somewhere else, and you might find them:
➡️ couch jumping
➡️ curtain swinging
➡️ climbing the TV
The point is this: your kid will try one behavior after the next until their mission is successful. So instead of saying no and telling your kid what they’re NOT allowed to do, be proactive and helpful. Teach them a quick, safe way they can satisfy their needs.
Examples:
👉 When your nonverbal child is trying to avoid a task at school because it’s hard - teach him to give an ‘I need a break’ card to his teacher
👉 When your hyperactive child is hitting you or pulling your hair because he’s bored - teach him to ask ‘Mommy, play with me’.
👉 When your child is running across the street to seek a thrill - plan trips to the park to let him use the swings and push him HIGH!
As so many of our families tell us - sometimes, identifying the ‘reason’ an unacceptable behavior is happening is the hardest part! Luckily, that’s what ABA therapy is about. Your BCBA can help! ✨
Stop playing whack-a-mole. ➡️ Start teaching replacements.
💬 What behavior feels like “whack-a-mole” in your home right now?
