Kootenay Counselling

03/04/2026

So what are the baseline requirements in a romantic relationship? It's different for everyone. But the Gottman's found that couples that followed the above infographic reported higher satisfaction and less detrimental conflict!

My favourite part is the breakdown into minutes a day so it feels attainable.

Interested in reading more about relationship dynamics check out the blog: https://www.kootenaycounselling.ca/blog

12/19/2025

Little reminder for the holidays. Merry Christmas!
https://www.instagram.com/p/DSNhTnoE9R1/?igsh=ZGl2ZmMzazEwNmd2

09/16/2025

https://www.kootenaycounselling.ca/post/feeling-lonely-and-disconnected-you-might-need-an-oxytocin-boost-in-your-relationship

Do you often find yourself arguing with your partner, only to feel lost, lonely, or disconnected afterward? You’re not alone.Many couples I work with describe this exact pattern — ongoing tension followed by emotional distance. There can be many reasons behind these feelings, but today I want to...

08/19/2025

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DMOcm3byX-u/?igsh=MTlqcDQ2NnVqZnMweg==

07/30/2025

https://www.kootenaycounselling.ca/post/do-i-matter-understanding-relationship-conflict

In relationships, conflicts often arise from underlying needs or desires. Understanding these can help couples address the root causes of their disagreements. According to psychotherapist Esther Perel, there are three primary categories that people fight for:1. Power and Control: This involves the n...

11/28/2024

Feel like fighting gets you nowhere? Check this out.

Flooding AKA: fight or flight/being mad or angry is the response of our body to threat. It's helpful for surviving tiger attacks...Less helpful when trying to figure out who drops the kids at school. The goal in moving through conflict, is to create space for taking breaks to attack the problem with...

09/18/2024

https://www.kootenaycounselling.ca/post/the-5-r-s-of-consequences-a-practical-approach-to-teaching-responsibility

In speaking with many parents there is often confusion around consequences vs. punishments. I wanted to clarify the specifics on how you can know that your consequences are actually consequences rather than punishments as punishments exacerbate behavioural issues and erode the child-parent emotional...

09/12/2024

Wondering if you and your partner are ready for couples counselling?

Couples therapy is demanding. It requires vulnerability, courage, and a willingness to confront the uncomfortable truths within both yourself and your relationship. Many couples come into therapy expressing a desire for change, but when faced with the reality of the work ahead, they realize they’r...

03/22/2024

New post on rituals of connection and how they stabilize relationships. Read more here

I'll frequently ask couples "so what are your rituals of connection?" and often receive a blank stare. So I thought it might be nice to explain exactly what a ritual of connection is, and how they contribute to relationship satisfaction, and how a lack of them can contribute to relationship dissatis...

11/01/2023

Disagreements and conflicts are inevitable. Find out how to reduce their impact through understanding the criticism-defense cycle. Link in Bio.

07/07/2023

New post on the benefits of active listening. It can help with partners and kids! Link in Bio.

03/14/2023

Feeling alone and unheard in your romantic relationship? A meta-emotion mismatch may be the cause. Follow the link in my profile to read the new blog post and learn more.