01/09/2026
The year was 2008. It had been a few years of all of us noticing something wasn't quite right. My brother was away traveling Europe, and my sisters and I had been slowing noticing subtle changes in our Dad. You know it doesn't happen all at once.
First you notice the little forgetfulness, "Paula, what is your friends name again?". Then leaving the stove on after cooking himself lunch. Forgeting to renew his car insurance... and it goes on. Until one day he forgot which peddle was the gas and which was the break. Not once but 4 times in the span of one year he had minor car accidents, fender benders. No big deal, right?
It all came together with the onset of mild, then severe depression. He became paranoid and he wasn't feeling the need to get up in the mornings, or to even get dressed for the day when he did. This went on for some time and was getting worse.
It was time to step in and get him some help.
All the testing revealed he had early onset Alzheimer’s, my Dad, Paul was 58 years old.
They got him on all the right meds and he was able to come home. But he needed more help. The disease progressed quite quickly for a young man who was going to the gym 5 days a week, eating well and trying to live the life he wanted. Spending time with his kids and only grand daughter, Laura. Sunday suppers with his daughters were the highlight of his week and ours too. Making new friends and then watching all these memories start to slip away.
I stayed at home with him until he couldn't, 2 and an half years. Then it was an assisted living facility 45 min (on a good day) from my house. Every day I went to sit with him at meal time, often helping to feed him, sometimes twice a day. They just didn't have the staff at the facility to keep up with all the residents.
Finally the call came, we could move Dad to a facility closer to my house. But the move changed him. There was a new unfamiliar that set him back. By now he was no longer able to feed himself, bath, dress or talk.
It was another 2 years, a total of 3 and a half years in long term care before he died. The man he once was…swallowed up by this terrible disease. We thought he was dying on 2 other occasions, but he kept holding on. I watched my Dad die for 7 years, the long good bye.
Honestly, I was releived when the body finally let go, when he was finally ready. In my experience, I could see the suffering of the families, friends and caregivers who were touched by this disease. Who's to care for them, for us?
In rememberance and to honor all the caregivers (not only for dementia), I would like to make an offering.
January is Alzheimer’s Awareness Month.
If you are a caregiver, paid or unpaid, I would like to invite you to attend any or all of our classes for the month of January. No need to explain, tell a story or justify anything. Just come. See the attached schedule for a class that suits you.
~ Blessings
