03/27/2024
✨ 𝔹𝕠𝕦𝕟𝕕𝕒𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕤 𝕧𝕤 𝕎𝕒𝕝𝕝𝕤 ✨
Know the difference!
𝔹𝕠𝕦𝕟𝕕𝕒𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕤: Boundaries are clear expectations of how we allow others to treat us and how we interact with others and the world around us. They are healthy limits that prioritize yourself and your needs by creating a safe space for you to grow and thrive. Boundaries are built from a place of self-respect, self-awareness, and commitment to protect our well-being and personal growth. Setting boundaries also come with consequences if those boundaries are violated. Boundaries serve little purpose without consequences. It is important to think about consequences that will help you to feel safe a̲n̲d̲ you will be able to follow through on.
𝕎𝕒𝕝𝕝𝕤: Walls act as an impenetrable fortress that shuts people out and leads to isolation and feeling disconnected. Walls can be a form of a defense mechanism and they are often reactive instead of proactive. They often come from a place of fear, past trauma, and/or the need to protect ourselves at all costs. These emotional walls can prevent personal growth and hinders us from forming meaningful relationships with others.
Knowing the difference is a game changer in building healthier relationships and prioritizing our well-being. Boundaries are a form of self-care, while walls keep people at a distance to shield us against vulnerability. Take some time to reflect and examine your boundaries and ask yourself:
1. Why do I have these boundaries in place?
2. What purpose do my boundaries serve? Do they protect my mental and emotional well-being while fostering healthy relationships? Or do they shut people out/keep them at a distance?
3. Are my boundaries healthy boundaries or are they emotional walls?
4. How do my boundaries feel? Take a moment to check in with your body. Where do you feel it in your body?
5. Are there ways I am compromising my boundaries, values, and well-being in order to make others feel more comfortable?
6. Do I have some unhelpful beliefs about boundaries? (Ex: boundaries are selfish and if I don’t put up these strict boundaries (walls), I will be hurt by others.)
7. How do I like to treat others and how do I like to be treated by others? Are there differences between the two? If so, why?
8. What are my deal-breakers in my different forms of relationships?
9. How do I feel when my boundaries are crossed?
10. Do my boundaries need to be altered? Are there healthy boundaries that I need to put in place? How can I be most effective in communicating my boundaries?
