03/31/2024
Today is a day of Perception and Alignment.
Anxiety. It creeps in through every crack and dangles in the dark, brushing against us over and over and over until it feels like our skin is alive with it.
All those **Nine of Swords** poking at you and scraping you. The whole Anxiety Family: Fear, Shame, Insecurity, Denial, Failure, Anger, Resentment, Self-Loathing, and Isolation. As Crime Families go, they remain at large and one of the most powerful, permeating virtually every corner of our lives.
How do we overcome something so sly and so sinister?
Perception.
That's the secret weapon. Spread the word.
Perception. Step back. Look at the Anxiety Bugs infesting your home. Which ones are they? Why have they come to visit? What purpose do they serve?
Look, Anxiety, the whole bloody blighted family of it, are colossal bi***es. BUT, they are colossal bi***es with a purpose. No, I'm serious. They are sent out to find you in the trenches to protect you.
Anxieties are notifications sent to you by your brain to remind you to be cautious, look both ways, find all the exits, know where your keys are, stay away from that person, don't drink what he just handed you... And sometimes your brain over exaggerates the danger because it isn't convinced you are taking things seriously enough.
Perception, my lovelies, is your friend. Sword cards are ones of intellect and are about your attitudes and the way you interact with the world. So, let's turn that secret weapon we have on our anxieties and ask ourselves those crucial questions again.
Which Anxiety Bug is bedeviling you today?
Why has it come to visit?
What purpose does it serve?
And also ask yourself, are they as terrifying as we have made them out to be?
Remember the slightly ajar closet door in our room? We stared and stared at it in the dark, willing it to close. How could we possibly be expected to sleep when the closet door remained open allowing all the scary things to creep into our room?
And that freaky, misshapen creature whose shadow loomed so large upon the wall? And what about those clawed hands just waiting, waiting patiently under our bed for us to foolishly put our feet on the floor?
UNTIL WE TURNED THE LIGHT ON and then every one of those scary, creepy, lurking beasts fled.
So, turn the light onto your anxieties. Shine it right into their faces. Are they just over exaggerated shadows our brain has used to trick us into being more careful? Once you can look them full in the face... often those boogey-man fears that seems so large and so daunting in the dark turn out to be things we can manage.
Will they come back? Sure. Every chance they get.
And some of them will be persistent and difficult to dislodge. So, you need a two-pronged approach: face your fears and decide which ones you can live with.
Because, again, perception is your friend, once you've faced it head on and realize it isn't quite the fanged demon your brain would have you believe it is, sometimes it gives up and wanders away and other times it stays, always hovering just out of sight waiting to show up again if you need it.
So, figure out how not to need it anymore.
Begin with **Accountability.**
First of all, accept that you make mistakes. Acknowledge that you have participated or created situations that have caused pain. Understand that sometimes your anxieties stem from things out of your control. That they come at the hands of other people.
So, let's consider that for a long moment. The ones that come from the hands of other people.
We aren't here to make excuses for them. Nope. But what we can do is understand that they too had their own demons and that instead of facing them they allowed the Anxiety Bugs to take control of the ship. And by doing so, they smashed, plowed into, and ran over all kinds of people unfortunate enough to be in their path.
And you were one of them. And not once did they apologize. Or when they did, they bloody well didn't mean it. And even if they did, it fixed nothing.
But here is the thing... do you want to be like them? Would you like your legacy to be one of pain and destruction?
No? Good answer.
So, **Accountability.** Look yourself really hard in the face.
Go ahead and itemize every imperfection. You've been itching too. Because if you can prove to yourself and everyone else that you are too flawed to fix then you won't have to take on the uncomfortable task of *acknowledging your poor behaviour and poor choices.*
And you won't have to do the work to **Repair** them.
Oof.
Oh, settle down, I'm going to throw you a life line, so get ready...
All those things you wish you hadn't done, or said, or tried? Or, alternatively, all those things you wish you had done, or said, or tried? Those things that you know if you had just taken a moment to *think* you would have done differently? They are ***gifts.***
Yeah, that's right. Gifts.
Think about it. How would you ever learn to do things differently unless you screwed them up in the first place? How could we ever understand just how much power we have to make ourselves and other people feel terrible and in pain, if we never caused it in the first place?
Compassion is a learned behaviour. We develop it in the face of inequity, pain, betrayal, and deceit.
You are not defined by the sum of your mistakes. Or the sum of your anxieties. No, you aren't. But you are, however, defined by what you do to correct the mistakes. And what you do to face your fears.
All of those past mistakes, choices, moments of pain, moments where you felt used, cheated, and deceived... every painful inch of that has given you an opportunity to grow into something else.
So, you better decide just what it is you'd like to grow into.
And you better start by being **Accountable** for how you got there in the first place.
Time to starting aligning yourself. Align who you currently are with who you would actually like to be.
And time to roll up your sleeves because **Repair** work takes skill, attention to detail, patience, and a willingness to fail. Because if the possibility of failure is not on the table, you aren't going to work hard at it, are you?
Here you are once again going to need some Perspective. Look at the problems in front of you. Figure out where to start. No one expects you to wave a magic wand and mend it in a thrice. That would be too easy.
No, what you need to do it look at each weak section individually then single out the areas you can quickly address. Then get to it. Fix them.
One stitch at a time. That's all. Just one stitch at a time. Will it look the same as it use to when you are finished? Probably not. But then again, you mucked it up for a reason so it is likely best it doesn't.
Is it possible that you may have to start all over and re-weave the whole thing again? Maybe.
But again, **Repair** work takes skill, attention to detail, patience, a willingness to fail... Oh, and it also takes dedication.
So, this is where you are. You need to stop turning your face away from the things that make you uncomfortable and anxious. Face them with a new perspective, not one of avoidance. When you avoid things they just get more persistent and show up with more intensity to get your attention.
Examine those Anxiety Bugs. Ask yourself what they are, why they are, and what you can do about them.
Acknowledge your mistakes. Accept that sometimes other people do s**tty things for no other reason than because they did. Accept that you yourself have sometimes done s**tty things in service to your anxieties and fears.
Take responsibility for them. And remind yourself that it is now your responsibility to remember *when you know better, you do better.* And now that you remember that, you are honour bound to employ it.
And in the act of employing that knowledge, fix the things you broke. And even fix a few things you didn't break but have suffered because of.
Today is a day of Perspective, Alignment and also one of Renewal and Integration.
Well? What are you waiting for?
You have things to tend to. Get to it.
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Decks Used: *The Shadowland Tarot* and *The Lantern Oracle.*
