Hope & Healing with Alexis

05/23/2025

Welcome to my Mountainview LemonAID Day page! I will be setting up a lemonade stand on Saturday, June 7 to raise funds to help Family & Children's Services Niagara send kids to camp this summer. Every $250 I raise will send one child to a week-lo...

05/23/2025

You are not a disorder. Your a human being trying to survive the world❤️

So many of us have been told we have “disorders.” But what if, instead, we began to see these symptoms as responses—powerful, adaptive survival strategies your brain and body created to protect you?

Anxiety? Your body was trying to keep you safe.
Depression? Your system needed to slow down and repair.
ADHD? You learned to survive in chaos.
Disassociation? You were preserving your soul.

At Hope & Healing with Alexis, we don’t pathologize your pain. We help you understand it.
We create space for your nervous system to feel safe again—so you can begin to heal, reconnect, and feel whole.

You are not a diagnosis.
You are a human being who survived.
Now it’s time to thrive.

Ready to start your healing journey?

04/24/2025

Ever feel totally done—but still wired?
Like your body’s buzzing but your heart’s checked out?

Snappy one minute. Silent the next.
Pulling away from people even though you don’t want to be alone?

That’s not just “mood swings.”
That’s your nervous system trying to keep you safe.

Burnout. Numbness. Disconnection. Anger. Overwhelm.
These are all ways your body says:
"I don’t feel safe right now.”

You might see it in others too—
The friend who cancels all the time.
The coworker who’s always irritated.
The partner who shuts down during conflict.

It’s not laziness. Not drama. Not coldness.
It’s survival.

This video unpacks what’s really going on underneath the surface
and it might just explain what you’ve been feeling all along.

This video was developed to give a basic introduction and overview of how trauma and chronic stress affects our nervous system and how those effects impact o...

03/03/2025

When your head is full, or you can't see a clear answer. Get out your head, and go walk it out. Trust me it works! 👇🏼

Walking is a powerful way to calm your nervous system because it engages both your body and mind in a rhythm that promotes relaxation. Here’s how it works:

1. Activates the Parasympathetic Nervous System
Walking, especially at a steady pace, signals to your body that it’s safe. This activates the parasympathetic nervous system (the "rest and digest" system), which helps lower stress hormones like cortisol and brings your body back to a state of calm.

2. Regulates Breathing & Heart Rate
When you walk, your breathing naturally deepens and becomes more rhythmic, which reduces shallow, anxious breathing. A steady heart rate from gentle movement also helps stabilize your nervous system.

3. Increases Feel-Good Neurotransmitters
Walking boosts endorphins, serotonin, and dopamine, all of which improve mood and reduce anxiety. It also lowers levels of stress hormones, making you feel more at ease.

4. Engages Bilateral Stimulation
The rhythmic movement of walking (left-right, left-right) engages both hemispheres of the brain. This is similar to EMDR therapy, which helps process emotions and reduce distress.

5. Encourages Mindfulness & Presence
Focusing on the rhythm of your steps, the feeling of your breath, or the sights and sounds around you helps shift your mind away from anxious thoughts and into the present moment.

6. Releases Stored Stress & Tension
Stress often gets trapped in the body. Gentle movement helps release muscle tension and prevent the buildup of nervous energy, making it easier to relax.

7. Promotes Grounding & Safety
Walking outdoors, especially in nature, helps regulate your nervous system by providing sensory input (fresh air, natural sounds, changing scenery) that signals safety to your brain.

If you ever feel overwhelmed, a simple walk—even just 5-10 minutes—can help reset your nervous system and bring a sense of calm.

03/02/2025

The Hidden Wounds of Developmental Trauma

Not all trauma comes from a single event. Developmental trauma happens when a child experiences chronic stress, neglect, or emotional wounds—often before they even have words to describe it.

It can show up later in life as:
➡️ Deep feelings of shame or unworthiness
➡️ Struggling to trust others or always fearing rejection
➡️Feeling emotionally numb or disconnected from yourself
➡️People-pleasing, over-explaining, or struggling to set boundaries
➡️Chronic anxiety, overthinking, or needing to stay "in control"

If you relate to this, you are not broken—your nervous system simply adapted to keep you safe. Healing is about learning to feel safe in your own body, trust yourself, and rewrite the messages you were given about your worth.

Your past may have shaped you, but it doesn’t have to define you. Healing is possible. You are worthy of love, safety, and peace. 💙

03/02/2025

Our journey of healing❤️

As your therapist, walking with you on this healing journey through EMDR is an honor. Together, we create a safe and compassionate space where painful memories no longer hold the same power over you. With each session, we gently process past wounds, allowing your mind to rewire and integrate these experiences in a way that fosters healing rather than distress. As you move through the phases of EMDR, you begin to see yourself through a lens of strength rather than shame, releasing the burdens you've carried for so long. This journey is not just about overcoming trauma—it’s about reclaiming your worth, confidence, and the fullness of who you were created you to be. And through it all, I am here to guide, support, and celebrate every step of your transformation❤️

02/26/2025

Modern-day grief related to adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) can be seen in many ways, often resurfacing in adulthood when triggered by life events or relationships.

Here are some examples:

1. Loss of a Nurturing Childhood – Grieving the childhood you never had due to emotional neglect, abuse, or a chaotic home environment. This grief may surface when witnessing others experience healthy family bonds.

2. Struggles with Self-Worth and Identity – Growing up in an environment where love felt conditional can lead to grief over feeling like you’ll never be “enough,” especially in relationships or professional life.

3. Estrangement from Family – Some survivors of ACEs choose to distance themselves from toxic family members, leading to grief over the loss of connection, even when it’s necessary for their well-being.

4. Reparenting Yourself– As adults, many who experienced childhood trauma must "reparent" themselves, grieving the fact that they didn’t receive proper emotional support and guidance in their early years.

5. Parenting Challenges– When raising children, survivors of ACEs may grieve their own childhoods, feeling the pain of what they lacked while trying to provide a better experience for their children.

6. Difficulty in Relationships– ACEs can lead to trust issues, attachment struggles, or fear of abandonment, causing grief over broken or unhealthy relationships despite the desire for connection.

7. Loss of Innocence and Safety – Survivors of childhood trauma often grieve the loss of a sense of safety or innocence, especially when reminders of past abuse surface in daily life.

8. Faith and Spiritual Struggles – Those raised in strict, punitive, or fear-based religious environments may grieve a lost or distorted view of God, struggling to rebuild a faith rooted in love rather than fear.

9. Career and Life Potential – Some may grieve opportunities lost due to childhood instability, such as struggling in school, developing self-doubt, or lacking mentorship that could have guided them to different paths.

10. Physical and Emotional Health Impact – ACEs are linked to chronic health conditions, anxiety, and depression. Many grieve the toll their past has taken on their bodies and minds, wishing they had experienced a healthier start.

02/25/2025

"Trauma & the Brain: How Your Mind Remembers, Reacts, and Recovers"

The neuroscience of trauma primarily involves the prefrontal cortex, hippocampus, and amygdala, which work together to process experiences and regulate emotions. Trauma disrupts this system, leading to heightened fear responses, difficulty processing memories, and impaired emotional regulation. These effects are not just emotional but also deeply physical.

1. Amygdala – The Alarm System
• Function: The amygdala detects threats and activates the fight-or-flight response.
• Impact of Trauma: Trauma over-activates the amygdala, making it hypersensitive to perceived danger, even when there is no real threat.

Physical Responses:
• Racing heart (palpitations)
• Shortness of breath
• Tightness in the chest
• Shaking or trembling
• Sweating
• Tunnel vision or hyper-awareness
•
Big "T" Trauma Example:
A person who experienced a violent robbery may panic when they see someone wearing a similar hoodie to their attacker, even in a safe setting.

Small "t" Trauma Example:
A child who was frequently scolded harshly in school may feel intense anxiety when a coworker gives them constructive criticism, reacting as if they are in trouble.

2. Hippocampus – The Memory Organizer
• Function: The hippocampus encodes, organizes, and contextualizes memories, distinguishing past from present.
• Impact of Trauma: Trauma shrinks the hippocampus, making it harder to differentiate between past and present danger. This can cause fragmented or distorted memories.

Physical Responses:
• Brain fog or forgetfulness
• Trouble concentrating
• Feeling disoriented or “out of it”
• Headaches
• A sense of déjà vu (reliving a past event)

Big "T" Trauma Example:
A survivor of a car accident may react with extreme fear to honking horns, feeling as if the accident is happening again, even though they are safe.

Small "t" Trauma Example:
Someone who was embarrassed while giving a class presentation in middle school may still experience panic when speaking in meetings, even though they are now a confident professional.

3. Prefrontal Cortex – The Rational Thinker
• Function: The prefrontal cortex regulates emotions, assesses risk, and helps calm the amygdala’s fear response.
• Impact of Trauma: Trauma weakens the prefrontal cortex, making it harder to regulate emotions, think rationally, or feel safe.

Physical Responses:
• Feeling emotionally numb or disconnected
• Trouble making decisions
• Difficulty calming down after stress
• Chronic fatigue or burnout
• Increased sensitivity to stress

Big "T" Trauma Example:
A person who grew up in an abusive household may struggle to calm themselves after a minor argument, feeling overwhelmed and unsafe even in non-threatening situations.

Small "t" Trauma Example:
Someone who was repeatedly ignored or dismissed in childhood may feel deep self-doubt when their texts go unanswered, assuming they are being rejected rather than considering neutral reasons.

How These Brain Areas Interact in Trauma:
• The amygdala overreacts to triggers, sending distress signals.
• The hippocampus struggles to differentiate past trauma from the present moment.
• The prefrontal cortex is weakened, making it harder to rationalize fear and regulate emotions.

This imbalance keeps the body in constant survival mode, even when the threat is gone, leading to chronic stress, anxiety, and exhaustion.

02/17/2025

The Echoes of Childhood: Grieving What Never Was 💔

Childhood trauma is often talked about in terms of what happened, but not enough in terms of what lingers—how it subtly and profoundly shapes adulthood. One of the most overlooked ways it manifests is as grief. Not just the kind of grief we associate with loss in the traditional sense, but a deep, quiet mourning for things that never were, for needs that went unmet, for the version of childhood we wish we had.

This grief can show up in different ways. It can be the hollow feeling when witnessing someone else’s healthy parent-child bond, realizing we never had that security. It can be the fear of abandonment in relationships, the gnawing feeling that love is fragile and temporary. It can be the constant striving for success, as if proving our worth will somehow heal the wounds of being unseen or unvalued as a child.

For some, it manifests in a deep longing—a homesickness for a home that never existed. Others carry it as perfectionism, people-pleasing, or an inability to fully trust joy, because experience has taught them that good things don’t last. And then there’s the grief of not even knowing what was lost, only feeling its absence like an ache with no name.

Healing this grief doesn’t mean erasing it. It means honoring it, allowing ourselves to grieve what we needed but didn’t receive. It means learning to re-parent ourselves, to give ourselves the love, validation, and safety we missed. It’s a process of acknowledging our pain without letting it define our future.

Childhood trauma doesn’t just disappear with time—it echoes. But in facing it, in grieving it, we also open the door to something else: the possibility of healing, of reclaiming joy, of becoming the safe place for ourselves that we never had.

02/15/2025

Get out your head & into your body ❤️

Here’s a flexible somatic routine you can use daily or whenever anxiety arises. You can adjust based on your needs and time available.

Morning Grounding & Nervous System Reset (5-10 min)

1. **Feet-to-Ground Connection** – Stand or sit with both feet firmly planted, taking deep belly breaths (1-2 min).
2. **Humming or Singing** – Hum a song, chant “mmm,” or sing for at least 30 seconds.
3. **Slow, Intentional Stretching** – Stretch your arms overhead, side stretch, forward fold (2-3 min).
4. **Hand Over Heart Breathing** – Place your hand on your heart, inhale deeply, exhale slowly (1-2 min).

**Midday Anxiety Reset (5 min)**
- **Shake It Out** – Shake your hands, arms, and legs for 30-60 seconds.
- **4-7-8 Breathing** – Inhale for 4, hold for 7, exhale for 8 (repeat 3-5 times).
- **Butterfly Hug** – Cross arms over chest, tap shoulders alternately while breathing deeply (1-2 min).

**Evening Calm & Nervous System Wind-Down (10-15 min)**
1. **Diaphragmatic Breathing** – Breathe deep into your belly (5 min).
2. **Progressive Muscle Relaxation** – Tense and release each muscle group from feet to head (5 min).
3. **Weighted Blanket or Self-Compression** – Wrap yourself in a blanket or hug yourself.

**On-the-Spot Anxiety Relief (1-3 min options)**
- **Cold Water Reset** – Splash cold water on your face or hold ice to your neck.
- **5-4-3-2-1 Grounding** – Name 5 things you see, 4 you feel, 3 you hear, 2 you smell, 1 you taste.
- **Ear Massage** – Gently massage behind and around your ears to calm the vagus nerve.

01/30/2025

Name what is here without judgement towards yourself ❤️ just notice what you may need ❤️

01/24/2025

Sound familiar?

What? How? Why? = Heal 👇🏼

EMDR and Somatic resourcing are incredibly effective at healing trauma.

They address the root causes in the mind and body, helping people move beyond their past experiences.

EMDR works by reprocessing traumatic memories in a way that reduces their emotional intensity. The therapy uses specific techniques, like eye movements, to help the brain process the memories more adaptively. This allows the person to gradually reduce the grip that past trauma has on their emotions and behaviors, helping them feel more in control and less affected by painful memories.

Somatic resourcing, on the other hand, works directly with the body, helping people reconnect with their own sensations and create a sense of safety. Trauma often leaves a physical imprint, and by focusing on grounding sensations or positive resources in the body, people can release built-up tension and anxiety. It’s a way to calm the nervous system and rebuild a sense of stability, making it easier to move forward in life.

Together, these methods help individuals heal from trauma in a holistic way—by addressing both the mind and body—and can lead to profound emotional freedom, safety, and a renewed sense of well-being.