Don Neufeld, Social Worker/Therapist

05/02/2026

"If our bodies and the neurological synapses within our brains can remember life at its worst for our ancestors, they can also remember life at its best" from Reading the Bible on Turtle Island: An Invitation to North American Indigenous Interpretation by T. Christopher Hoklotubbe and H. Daniel Zacharias

04/29/2026

Some children do not “act out” - they react to how safe they feel.

A child who clings, avoids, shuts down or seems overly independent is not trying to be difficult. They are showing you what relationships have felt like for them. When a child has not consistently felt safe, understood or reassured, their behaviour adapts to cope.

Some will stay close and worry about being left.
Some will push adults away and hide their feelings.
Some will swing between both, unsure who to trust.

What looks like behaviour is often attachment.

When adults respond with calm, consistency and understanding instead of control or punishment, children slowly learn that relationships can be safe. That is when behaviour begins to change - not before.

If we only focus on the behaviour, we miss the message. If we understand the attachment need underneath, we can actually help.

Free ATTACHMENT STYLES WHEEL POSTER GUIDE

LIKE the photo and comment "ATTACHMENT" and we will send you a message with a link to a free PDF of this resource.

04/28/2026

The more we matter to them,
the less they are wounded
by outside wounds.
The key is in the relationship.
It’s not in the teaching.”
- Dr. Gordon Neufeld

→ Find free lectures and talk by Gordon Neufeld - link in bio

04/22/2026

04/21/2026

04/18/2026

❤️

04/16/2026

Sometimes life feels like a battle. What's going to make us stronger? If we show up as an ally or enemy in this battle. Self-compassion allows us to show up for ourselves as an ally with help, encouragement, and support.

04/09/2026

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03/23/2026

The younger the child, the more attentive we need to be and observe their behaviors - especially when behaviors become challenging. Young children aren’t able to tell us what’s troubling them and so they act out or it shows up in a variety of behaviors.
It’s up to us as parents to discover the solution. Don’t put it on your young child by asking them to help find a solution - it’s not fair to them and it could lead to more anxiety. Instead, be the safe harbor your child can come to.

✨It’s always helpful to keep in mind that it is through behavior that young children communicate. When we are attentive it becomes easier for us to not quickly react and look past the behaviors to help them. Connection and understanding is really what they are crying out for.

Anxious children can also be highly sensitive to our actions and words, to environments and sounds and they need extra care when it comes to sensory stimulation. Actually, all children need this same level of care! Hugging and embracing is a great way to help soothe your child. They engage the sense of touch which is calming to the nervous system. Whereas yelling does the opposite-it arouses flight, fight, or freeze.

Young children are easily overwhelmed when life moves to fast, when we ask too much of them, when we yell at them and when we talk too much and ask too many questions.

Slowing life down is the first step to reducing anxiety. It has a dramatic effect on a child’s ability to be centered and grounded.
And remaining calm helps your child return to a calm state. So the bottom line here is that you’ll need to check in on your level of anxiety and if it’s transferring to your child.
Perhaps you can think of slowing life down like an elimination diet. Ask yourself - What is essential? What is extra and what is just too much? Take away what is not needed and all the unnecessary extras and see if this eliminates some or all of the behaviors. Once your child is older and more stable emotionally slowly add what’s possible. When you do this you’ll also notice what should be completely eliminated.

An anxious child needs a slower pace to life. For their sake, slow down.

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