07/30/2024
I’ve always been a naturally trusting person. I try and see the good in everyone. At times, though, I’ve been naive. I gotten into toxic relationships. I befriended narcissists. I’ve been scammed a few times. Learning discernment has been a hard lesson for me, but a good one. Here’s what I do, always with love and respect (as much as possible).
Step 1 - See the red flags.
Hey something isn’t right here.
Why did they do that?
That’s strange behaviour….
Step 2 - Connect the red flags.
Observe patterns and threads.
Common themes.
Deception and hidden agendas.
Step 3 - Find the source.
Where is this comming from?
Why is this happening?
What’s motivating this behaviour?
Step 4 - Discernment
How much can I trust this person/people?
Do I need to be assertive about something.
Have the courage to say no.
There is usually a root to every red flag. It’s usually comes from trauma or poor parenting/mentorship.
Being who I am, this is constant work. Discernment is not my natural state. Love, joy and trust is. But discernment has become a skill that has really helped my character and peace of mind.
Aside from observing people, I also use discernment when observing different social movements, leaders and establishments that hold influence over my life. For instance, I didn’t get vaccinated because I observed so many red flags around that. Things not adding up. Inconsistencies. Desperation. Deception. Things that made me go hmmm… I’m proud of myself for taking that stance and not buckling despite the myriad of pressures coming at me.
I hope this list helps anyone looking for stronger discernment. Unfortunately, in this day and age, we need plenty of discernment and the strength to stand our ground. We need to think for ourselves (and not let the media think for us). We need to hold our truth above acceptance and conformity. We need to become comfortable with saying no, even if this means standing alone.
With love and respect.
Steve