06/08/2025
21.1 km at the Forest City Road Races this morning 🏃♀️ 🌳. This run was deeply personal for me. Last year I assisted during a medical incident during a bike race. The situation was one that was distressing and thankfully the person involved has recovered. I didn’t realize it at the time but that was the start of an almost year long aversion to running, biking, and anything movement related. I called this the straw that broke the camels back for me. It wasn’t the event that haunted me (although deeply upsetting at the time) it was how no one stopped, it was me and another racer and everyone else just kept going, so focused on their goals. Yet there was a human who needed help. This was something that I just couldn’t understand. This unearthed some of my own stuff, traumas if you will. My coping mechanism and outlet became something that was distressing. My legs often like lead and my breathing constricted. I hated the feeling yet I couldn’t change it. My husband noticed, as I wasn’t running, and hadn’t signed up for races. I played it off like I was just taking a break but finally told him how I was feeling. It was through processing- yes therapists have therapists too, running races with my children, and running potentially not being an option for the next 6 weeks (procedure), that I last minute signed up for this run. I went into this run with no plan, other than to just keep going. I was struck by many things on this run, people stopped to check in on one another, the crowd was unmatched, and the energy in the air. I felt myself click back on, this hasn’t happened in almost 10 months. My feet flowed (even though they ripped apart because of a rookie mistake-never wear new shoes on a race day). I crossed the line and I have never been more proud of a run. I share this to say, it’s ok to not be ok, but we owe it to ourselves and those we love put in the work to move through it. You also don’t have to navigate it alone 💙. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other, no matter the pace 🏃♀️