Rhodes to Wellness Coaching

03/26/2026

No one really tells you what post-traumatic stress feels like to live with.

Not in a clinical sense…
But in the quiet, everyday moments.

It’s not just memories.
It’s your body reacting before you’ve even had a chance to think.

It’s the tight chest for no clear reason.
The hyper-awareness.
The exhaustion from always being “on.”
The way your system scans for danger… even when you’re safe.

And when you finally get a diagnosis, it can feel like the ground disappears beneath you.

Because suddenly it’s not just something you’re experiencing…
It feels like something you are.

Broken.
Too much.
Different.

I remember being diagnosed back in 2011 after leaving an abusive marriage…
But I was carrying it so much longer than that.

It started years earlier, when I was a child, in a car accident that took my mum’s life.

And this is the part that matters:

What we call “post-traumatic stress” isn’t a flaw in you.
It’s a nervous system that learned how to survive… and never got the chance to complete the cycle.

Your brain adapts.
Your body holds onto what wasn’t processed.
Your system stays ready… just in case.

There is nothing disordered about that.

It makes sense.

But just because it makes sense… doesn’t mean you have to live like that forever.

Healing isn’t about “fixing” yourself.
It’s about gently teaching your body that it’s safe again.
It’s about allowing what was never processed… to finally move.

I know how heavy it can feel.
I know the days where it knocks you sideways.

And I also know… it can change.

You are not broken.
You are responding exactly as a human nervous system does when it’s been through too much, too soon, for too long.

And there is a way back to yourself.

I’m walking this too, and I promise—change is possible 🤍

If you’re feeling this and you’re ready to understand what’s actually happening in your body (and how to start shifting it), you’re so welcome here.

You don’t have to sit in it alone. My DM's are always open. 💜

With warmth,

Janet

03/25/2026

Gaslighting is a tactic of abuse where a person manipulates someone psychologicaly by denying events which causes the victim to question their own sanity.

Some common phrases you might hear from your gaslighter are:

You're so sensitive!

You know that's just because you are so insecure.

Stop acting crazy. ...

You are just paranoid.

You just love trying to throw me off track.

I was just joking!

You are making that up.

It's no big deal.

When you're with a be very aware of what they're saying and doing around you. Create an untouchable belief of yourself and what you know to be true. Hold onto your truth.

03/21/2026

I've been doing some difficult reflection lately as I write my memoir.

For years, I blamed myself for not seeing the red flags with my ex. For not leaving sooner. For "choosing" someone who would hurt me so badly.

But the more I examine my story, the more I see that it didn't start with him.

It started long before.

With patterns I learned in childhood. With what I was taught about love—that it was unpredictable, conditional, something you had to earn. With learning to accept crumbs of affection and be grateful for them. With being taught to make excuses for people who hurt me, to minimize my own pain, to prioritize keeping the peace over protecting myself.

I didn't consciously choose an abuser. I was unconsciously following a blueprint I'd been given.
And when I finally escaped and needed support, some of the people I turned to responded with the same patterns—minimizing what happened, making excuses, expecting me to be "understanding."

It was devastating to realize: I'd been set on this path long before I met my ex.

Families can create the storm—and then blame the survivor for drowning.

I'm sharing this not to assign blame, but because I think so many survivors carry shame for "allowing" abuse to happen—when the truth is, we were often trained to accept it long before we had the awareness to recognize what was happening.

If you're a survivor, please know: You weren't weak. You weren't stupid. You weren't "asking for it."
You were conditioned. And breaking free from that conditioning is some of the hardest, most important work you'll ever do.

I'm no longer accepting crumbs. And I'm teaching my children something different.

That's how we break the cycle.

With warmth,

Janet

03/20/2026

Happy first day of spring! 🌱

It’s that time of year when everything is… damp.
Snow is melting, the ground is questionable, and no one really knows what to wear.

There’s a quiet pressure to feel refreshed and motivated…
But honestly, outside it’s mostly puddles and confusion — and that’s okay.

Spring isn’t all fresh starts and perfect mornings.
It’s the in-between.
Melting. Shifting. A little undone.

Sometimes it’s just showing up, stepping around the mess,
and noticing that even in the muddle, things are quietly moving forward. 🙂

03/19/2026

Sometimes the simplest practices can have the biggest impact.

Placing your hand on your heart while taking slow, deep breaths can calm your nervous system, release oxytocin (the love hormone), and signal to your brain that you are safe and supported.

Try this the next time you’re feeling stressed or overwhelmed — it only takes a minute, and the effects can be profound.

03/19/2026

03/19/2026

'Why did they do this?', 'Why wasn’t I enough?', 'Why couldn't they see the pain they were causing?'

The Trauma Whisper keeps you tethered to their dysfunction; the Healing Reply tethers you back to your own soul.

We stay stuck because we are looking for an answer in a place that has none. We’ve been waiting for a why from someone who isn’t even capable of honesty, let alone empathy.

It’s time to stop asking why they did it. That question keeps you tethered to the trauma.

Instead, we start asking: How do I heal the part of me that felt I needed their permission to leave?

You don’t need their explanation to move on. True closure isn’t a conversation you have with them. It’s a shift you make within yourself. it’s something you claim for yourself when you turn inward and do the work.

The moment you stop chasing clarity from their chaos is the moment you reclaim your power. Your healing doesn't require their participation. It only requires your commitment to your own soul.

💬Let me know in the comments if you agree 👇

Much love,
Mel 🦋

03/17/2026

🍀 Happy St. Patrick’s Day! 🍀

“May your troubles be less
and your blessings be more,
and nothing but happiness
come through your door.”

Wishing everyone a little extra luck today! 💚

03/16/2026

Many people believe they are the only ones struggling with certain feelings.

Shame has a way of making us feel alone.

But often, when we start talking about our experiences, we realize we are not nearly as alone as we thought.

For me, that moment came when I joined a support group for women who had experienced abuse. Hearing their stories, I realized I wasn’t the only one.

And something about that realization mattered.

I’m curious —
When did you first realize you weren’t alone in your experience?