Allan Kehler - Mental Health Advocate

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Allan Kehler - Mental Health Advocate

Creating a safe space for people to be seen, heard and supported with their mental health. When it comes to mental health, silence is not the answer.

I know first-hand what it feels like to have lost my voice, and I also know what it feels like to have found it. I believe that the only reason why I’m still here today is to carry a message. I know that there are a lot of people who are suffering from the same or similar challenges that I faced. It has become my life’s mission to share my story in hope that it will shed a positive light on the journey of others. I have learned that vulnerability equals strength. The more we share, put our walls down, and get real, the more we connect with others and most importantly ourselves. Together, let’s create a safe, compassionate, and supportive environment that proactively addresses issues of mental wellness. If you are looking to create a culture of care in your workplace, community, or school, I would love to hear from you. For more information please feel free to visit https://www.allankehler.com

09/10/2025

If you have lost someone to su***de, then you know that it brings a different kind of grief.

On the one-year anniversary of Justin’s death, I felt an internal pull to make the two-hour drive to my best friends grave. Below is an excerpt from my memoir that might help others who feel consumed by such a profound loss.

--

Before walking out the door, I grabbed something from my office desk as a way to reflect.

Shortly after Justin’s passing, my wife, Tanya, had surprised me with the most thoughtful gift. She had taken the time to create a beautiful collage that included several pictures of Justin and me. On the top, she pasted individual silver letters that read “soulmates.”

After arriving at the countryside cemetery, I took a seat beside Justin’s grave and propped the picture frame upright beside me. Immediately, it slammed down. Ever so carefully, I placed it in the same spot, and again it slammed down. It wasn’t even windy. The third time produced the same result, and now I was mad. I stood up, opened my arms wide, and yelled, “What’s going on?”

To my complete surprise, I got an answer. For real, I heard a response loud and clear.

“Enough.”

Without having to think about it, I knew the exact meaning behind that message. For the past year, I had spent so much time thinking about what I could have done, or what I felt I should have done, that I ended up missing out on the journey that I was supposed to take in the first place.

Driving away from the cemetery, I realized a shift had taken place. While the pain remained, I knew that I would no longer be consumed by such a profound loss.

It was time for me to return to my own journey.

--

Sometimes we care about people so much that we lose ourselves in their journey. However, at the end of the day you were born for YOU.

You were born to live your life.

Today is World Su***de Prevention Day.

Keep talking my friends.

* If my memoir is of interest, the link can be found in the comments

09/04/2025

Death is one of life's greatest teachers.

I have an extensive list of lessons learned following my best friend, Justin Andres' su***de. At the top of that list is the importance of putting a voice to my emotional pain.

Despite knowing this, there are periods where I slip into old patterns and suppress emotions like anxiety, fear, and shame. Thankfully, I now have people in my life who pick up on this, and encourage me to talk.

And, the beautiful thing is that they don't 'fix' me. Rather, they listen. I mean truly listen, and then they encourage me to act on the formal resources that are available.

Darkness begs to see the light of day. May you find your voice, and may you take the time to listen to those around you.

September is su***de prevention month, and I am reminded that death calls us to live differently. Thank you, Justin, for continuing to open doors for me from the other side so that I can carry my message across the globe. Love you, brother.

Keep talking my friends.

08/30/2025

As a speaker, my schedule typically looks like the following:

Uber - Airport - Uber - Hotel - Speak - Uber - Airport - Repeat

But, when I went to New York City a few days ago, I wanted to break the cycle and take time for me. With my wife's encouragement and a great conversation with Joe Roberts, I paid a pretty penny for a Yankee's ticket to check something off my bucket list.

After the sixth inning, I stood up to let a woman by so that she could get to her seat. She was juggling three large cans of beer and asked me to hold one while she took a seat.

15 years of sobriety felt like day one. I awkwardly declined and she was visibly upset.

I struggled to watch the seventh inning and began focusing on the alcohol all around me rather than the game.

Sobriety is the foundation of the life that I have built. From my family and relationships to every moment of peace - none of it would exist without it.

So, before the inning was over, I stood from me seat and left the stadium. In my head, I heard words of approval and support from my inner circle, and most importantly from my wife and kids.

Sobriety didn't just save my life, it gave me the chance to truly live it.

My question is simple... where do you draw the line for your own wellness? At what point do you say, "This is too much?"

Sometimes that healthiest thing we can do is say, "No", step back, and choose ourselves.

Lastly, for all of you in recovery, please keep recovering out loud. We are stronger together.

Keep talking my friends.

08/28/2025

While I speak on a variety of topics related to wellness, I am particularly passionate about men and mental health.

November is men's health month. If your company or community is looking to redefine what it means to be 'strong' (in-person or virtual), please reach out. I have a few dates left in November, and I would welcome a conversation.

After spending half my life burying my emotions deep within, and losing my best friend to su***de, I have embraced the fact that there is nothing 'manly' about suffering in silence.

Keep talking my friends.

08/12/2025

At the age of 18, I travelled to Holland for a one-year work program. I fell in with the wrong crowd and eventually ended up running away from my host family. It was a year of self-destruction and I flirted with death more times than I care to count.

Life has a funny way of making things come full circle. International Speaking Bureau, A-Speakers, has offices across the world, including in Holland. So, when Malou reached out expressing an interest in my message, I saw this as my redemption.

I am reminded that even after the toughest times, there’s always a chance for renewal.

Holland... I will see you soon.

08/06/2025

Do you ever speak to yourself in ways that you would never speak to anyone else?

I watched my wife, Tanya, sit and paint each one of these stones. Carefully, she wrote words like ‘You are beautiful’, ‘You deserve happiness’ and ‘You are enough’.

Yesterday, a woman stopped by our tradeshow booth and held a small ‘You matter’ stone in her hand.

When I asked her why she chose that message, she said it was a message she needed to hear. She always put her children’s needs before her own, and sadly she also felt that she had failed as a mom.

We had a beautiful conversation and when I asked if she wanted a bag for the stone, she said, “No thanks. This is going in my pocket where it will stay every day.

There’s a lot of talk about being kind to others (which is great!), but please don’t forget to be kind to yourself.

07/15/2025

In a recent podcast interview, I was asked what my greatest strength is. It's not my degrees. It’s not the books I’ve written, and it’s not standing on stages across the globe.

My greatest strength is my ability to connect - with vulnerability, honesty, and heart.

I’ve battled addiction. I’ve persevered through mental health struggles. I’ve buried my best friend.

There were several moments that I didn’t think I’d survive. But instead of hiding those parts of me from the world, I’ve chosen to share them.

When you speak from a place of pain and healing, people listen differently. They see themselves in your story, and as a result, they feel less alone.

My hope is that you are able to turn your pain into purpose and create meaningful connections.

If that helps people to feel seen, heard, and inspired to keep going - then that makes a challenging journey worth every step.

Keep talking my friends.

07/11/2025

Recently, I spoke at an event with the awesome Dr. Jody Carrington. Not only is her keynote message a must hear, but her book ‘Feeling Seen’ is a must read.

It’s a sad reality that we live in a world where we are more connected than ever before, and yet we are also more disconnected.

Thank you, Dr. Carrington, for a roadmap that helps us to not only connect to others, but also ourselves.

My hope is that you take time today to connect with someone around you while also taking time to connect with yourself.

As Dr. Carrington says, “When we feel seen, we rise.”

06/25/2025

After realizing that I locked myself out of my room, I turned around to see a hotel employee walking towards me.

"Great presentation this morning!" He said.

"I appreciate it!" I responded while shaking his hand to introduce myself.

Peter went on to tell me that he stood behind the curtain at the back of the room for the duration of my keynote. In an effort to look like he was working, he found some silverware to polish.

Peter then proudly declared that he had over 20 years of sobriety.

And, for the next 15 minutes, two men who now lead a life of redemption connected at a beautiful level.

In our places of work and in our communities, we must recover out loud because silence only fuels the stigma that keeps others quiet.

Thank you, Peter, for a powerful conversation of hope, healing, and connection. Oh, and thank you for getting me back into my hotel room.

Keep talking my friends.

06/18/2025

Last night was the final stop in our community tour across Saskatchewan.

I was inspired by Angela who drove three and a half hours to listen to our message of hope and healing.

It was a strong reminder that if something matters to you, go get it. And, nothing matters as much as one’s health.

If we don’t make time for our wellness we will later be forced to make time for our illness.

Thank you Cody Demerais for your vision, passion and commitment.

Keep talking my friends.

06/11/2025

When Karla Kochan, was first hired as a Senior HR Executive with the City of Medicine Hat, employees had a benefit package of $300 to cover expenses related to their mental health. Through passion and sheer determination, Karla was able to increase that number to $3,000.

This is a city that has experienced significant loss. Back in 2020, I delivered a virtual presentation for the community after they lost 7 young men to su***de within a few months.

Understanding that silence keeps people suffering in the dark, Karla and Chantal Desjarlais dedicated time, energy and resources to host their first ever mental health event for the City of Medicine Hat employees.

To ensure that all employees were able to attend, I was able to deliver four presentations across two days. Community resources were available to ensure that people knew where to turn in times of need.

Thank you Ann Mitchell and Douglas Gill for your support and leadership.

We might not have filled up the entire stadium like the Medicine Hat Tigers, but we definitely transformed a community.

***deprevention

06/09/2025

“All that it takes is a beautiful fake smile to hide an injured soul.”

Those words from the late Robin Williams have always resonated with me.

Following my last two events, four mothers, two fathers, and two grandfathers approached me to share that they lost their son or grandson to su***de.

Yes, they were all males, and they were all hiding behind that beautiful smile.

In these moments, I used to always feel like I had to say something to ease their pain. However, over the years, I have come to understand that listening is saying something.

When we actively listen, we are saying,

“I see you.”

“You matter.”

“Your loved one matters.”

Sometimes we just need to sit with people in the mud, and make sure that they feel seen, heard and supported.

Keep talking my friends. And, keep listening.

***deprevention

Address

Saskatoon, SK

Website

http://www.allankehler.com/

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Empowering People to LIVE

I spent a significant amount of my life persevering through mental health issues and addiction. For years, I suffered in silence as I hid behind a fake smile. And because I didn’t talk about my pain I suffered more than anyone else.

After years of walking around like a victim I finally understood that if I wanted change, I was the only person in a position of power to create this change. I discovered that my voice was my greatest tool, and I began to ask for what I needed.

Today, I speak in the hopes of empowering others to use their voices in times of need. In the same way, I teach people how to respond to those who are in pain. Nobody needs to be fixed, but the value of being seen and heard is immeasurable.