Dr Melissa Holowaty

Dr Melissa Holowaty Family physician with special interests in mental health, addiction & chronic pain

10/06/2025

Pushback, defensiveness, and creating drama are common responses to hearing something you don't like.

People don’t have to agree with your boundaries, and it may still be necessary for you to set them. Allow people to be upset without trying to make them feel better, as this can lead to a lack of boundaries.

Pain Reprocessing Therapy knocked another one out of the park this week with their newsletter about caregivers. I am sha...
10/03/2025

Pain Reprocessing Therapy knocked another one out of the park this week with their newsletter about caregivers. I am sharing it here because it was just so good! Sign up yourself to get there newsletters at their website - https://www.painreprocessingtherapy.com/

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"Unfortunately, chronic pain not only affects the person experiencing it, but the lives of families, partners, and caregivers too. Watching someone you care about struggle can be overwhelming, especially when you’re unsure how to help. You may feel frustrated when it seems nothing you can do helps your loved one, and you may be desperate to find a solution. The good news is that support doesn’t have to mean “fixing” the pain. In fact, trying to fix the pain only reinforces the problem. The most powerful and helpful role a caregiver can play is creating an environment of safety, compassion, patience, and understanding.

The Caregiver's Role

Feelings of safety or danger profoundly influence the nervous system and the brain's threat detection system, including the generation of pain. When a loved one feels threatened, judged, or like a burden, it may actually amplify their symptoms and hinder recovery. In contrast, when individuals feel supported and understood, it can help calm the brain's alarm system, which can reduce pain over time. Families and caregivers play a vital role in this process.

Common ways chronic pain impacts relationships include:

Communication strain — Misunderstandings or frustration when pain limits activities.
Emotional weight — Caregivers may feel helpless or burned out.
Loss of normalcy — Families may need to adjust their routines and expectations.

Ways to Support Someone in Pain

Here are some small but meaningful ways families and caregivers can help:
Listen without judgment — Validate your loved one’s pain as real, even if the cause isn’t visible or rooted in physical damage.

Offer reassurance of safety — Remind them that symptoms, while unpleasant, aren’t necessarily dangerous, and that you are there for them during times of discomfort.

Focus on the situation — Focus on situations rather than (unintentionally) attacking your loved one. For example, expressing frustration about the distribution of household chores is more constructive than criticizing the person with chronic pain for their limitations.

Encourage gentle activity — Walk or move together, practice somatic tracking with them, and encourage them to engage in exercises that help rewire the brain’s pathways and reassociate movement with safety. You want to strike a balance of reasonable challenges to help maintain their independence and sense of self-efficacy while still being patient and supportive. Ultimately, the goal is to help them gradually reengage with their lives and return to doing what they enjoy.

Help gather evidence — Point out inconsistencies in pain and encourage them to do the same, challenging the structural diagnosis and gaining buy-in towards neuroplasticity.

Model calmness — Your own sense of steadiness can help their nervous system feel safer. If you notice them rushing, slow down. If you see their talking cadence speed up, speak with intentional gentleness.

Avoid reinforcing fear — Instead of asking “Does it hurt?” try “How are you feeling right now?”

Express appreciation and celebrate wins — Recognize the efforts made by individuals with chronic pain and celebrate any progress.

Take care of yourself, too — Supporting someone with chronic pain is easier when you also have outlets for rest and renewal.


Your Role in the Recovery Process

As pain therapists, one of the first assessment questions we ask is about a patient’s support system and how those around them react to a neuroplastic diagnosis. When loved ones reinforce the message that the body is safe and that pain, although very real, is only a misinterpretation of the brain, it aids in their recovery process. Providing validation, reassurance, and gentle encouragement that sensations are indeed non-dangerous will boost the patient’s recovery journey.

Of course, we understand that the caregiver’s journey can take a physical, emotional, financial, and relational toll. You may feel confused or burnt out in seeking a solution for your loved one. But panic or preoccupation with finding this solution actually sends the wrong message to the pain patient — that they are in danger, and there is something that needs to be “fixed” or “solved”. As a support partner, your words and beliefs carry weight. As such, your goal is to collaborate with your loved one in finding a balance between comfort and opportunity — to face the pain, or the activities that trigger it, and see sensations for what they truly are: a false alarm. This helps empower patients in the face of pain, knowing that they can handle it, and that it is not caused by bodily damage."

The Power Over Pain website provides people living with pain and those caring for them with reliable tools for self-mana...
09/15/2025

The Power Over Pain website provides people living with pain and those caring for them with reliable tools for self-management, courses, peer support and more. There is also a portal specific to youth!

What do you think of the Power Over Pain Portal?

You are not alone on your journey to cope with pain – There is hope.Power Over Pain provides you with access to resources, courses, peer support and much more.

Pain Connect is a national platform where people living with pain can learn about and connect to chronic pain research t...
09/08/2025

Pain Connect is a national platform where people living with pain can learn about and connect to chronic pain research taking place across Canada. By partnering with researchers and policymakers, those with first hand experience can help shape research studies and projects that impact the way pain is understood and treated in Canada.

The goal is to make sure the voices and experiences of people with pain are included in research and decision-making.

Pain Connect is a national platform where you can learn about and connect to chronic pain research taking place across Canada. Our goal is to make sure the voices and experiences of people with pain are included in research and decision-making.

Such a great article in this week's newsletter from the folks at the Pain Reprocessing Therapy Center. So good, I had to...
09/04/2025

Such a great article in this week's newsletter from the folks at the Pain Reprocessing Therapy Center. So good, I had to share here. Sign up for their newsletter, or their support groups or find a practitioner on their website - https://www.painreprocessingtherapy.com/

"Trauma doesn't only exist in our memories; it can influence our personality, fear responses, stress thresholds, and sense of safety. Additionally, it can create or intensify pain and various chronic symptoms. The term "trauma" is used in everyday conversations. In this newsletter, we’ll explore the numerous effects of trauma and provide some tips on how to address it effectively.

Many assume that only major childhood traumas, known as ACEs (adverse childhood experiences), such as physical or sexual abuse, can lead to significant long-term effects. However, trauma can be defined more broadly. It includes any lasting emotional or physical impact from distressing experiences, whether those experiences involve the pressure to always succeed, a misdiagnosis that causes self-doubt, or ongoing stress that gradually wears you down.

The challenge with trauma is that its effects can linger and manifest in various ways. For many, one of the most challenging aspects of healing is the nervous system's failure to recognize safety—even when the danger has long since passed.

In terms of pain, we have found that patients often feel stuck along their recovery journeys if they are profoundly affected by a history of trauma. So, addressing trauma is clearly important. The question is: how much?

What Are the Impacts of Trauma?

Trauma can affect both the mind and body in ways that may not always be obvious:

Mental Health Issues: A history of trauma can lead to disorders such as post-traumatic stress disorder, acute stress disorder, depression and anxiety disorders, substance use disorders, and difficulties in relationships.

Emotional Outbursts/Mood Swings: Individuals with a history of trauma may be more irritable, have higher reactivity, and have a lower stress threshold that can be triggered by situations that wouldn't typically affect those without such a history.

Tendency to Suppress Emotions: For some, expressing emotions may feel unsafe. As a result, pain and physical symptoms often become the body's way of expressing and communicating distress.

Stressful Triggers: For those with a history of trauma or PTSD, calm and still moments can actually feel unsafe, hindering their ability to use traditional relaxation or pain management techniques. These individuals may avoid reminders related to the trauma that can more easily surface in moments void of distraction or preoccupation.

Personality Traits: Many people with a trauma history may become self-critical, overly hard-working, detail-oriented, and even highly reliable. While these traits can be beneficial in a work environment, they can negatively impact one’s personal life. It is common for such individuals to take on fewer activities that bring them joy, and instead focus on responsibilities to please others and avoid conflict, failure, or disappointment.

Self-Esteem: Childhood trauma can significantly affect a person's sense of self. They may develop feelings of inadequacy, perceiving themselves as "less than" due to negative messages received from adults during their upbringing.

Chronic Pain: Traumatic experiences may lead to the development of chronic pain through nervous system dysregulation and central sensitization. Central sensitization happens when a sustained stress response makes the nervous system hypersensitive, causing the brain to misinterpret neutral sensations as painful. Additionally, stress and hyperarousal can cause muscles to remain tense for extended periods, leading to fatigue and pain.

Recognizing these patterns can help patients reframe their experiences, while also providing practitioners with valuable context for supporting recovery.


Trauma and Chronic Pain

Pain serves as your body’s way of communicating. Ideally, pain signals damage as soon as it occurs and disappears once the body has healed. However, when pain persists without a clear cause, it’s crucial to understand what your brain might be trying to convey to protect you. To effectively reduce and eliminate your symptoms, you may need to examine the sequence of events that led to their chronic nature, whether that’s fear of the pain itself or other psychological, environmental, and emotional triggers.

Trauma can have a direct impact on the nervous system and on one's perception of safety. If you are on edge and hypervigilant, you are more likely to misinterpret everything, including sensations, as more threatening than they actually are. So, even if there is a structural issue, a trauma and fear response can contribute to an added layer of suffering and ultimately amplify pain.

By understanding how trauma affects your nervous system and your brain’s learning of pain, you can work to unlearn these responses and replace any faulty beliefs or unnecessary fears that may have developed as a result.

A Common Question: How much trauma processing is necessary to resolve chronic pain?

Although emotions and trauma certainly impact hypervigilance and pain, pain reprocessing therapy is less about processing or releasing repressed traumas and more about addressing the feared emotions related to those traumas. The goal is to learn to recognize the physical manifestation of these emotions and experience them without alarm. What is most integral to healing is to become aware of why your brain is on high alert, understand that the fear and hypervigilance that once served you are no longer needed, and move forward with a sense of safety.

The Next Steps:

Raise Your Awareness: Reflect on your childhood: Those who have experienced trauma, especially subtly, often find it challenging to recognize how their childhood experiences have shaped them. If you suspect that you have faced subtle trauma but feel uncertain about it, consider asking yourself the following question:

How would you feel if a child you cared about were going through the same experiences you did, and you had to watch?

Allow yourself to feel the emotions associated with this question. Notice your initial reaction physically, cognitively, and emotionally, doing your best to communicate safety. Then, you can reflect on the behavioral patterns that your trauma response may have shaped.

Educate Yourself About Trauma: Learn about the effects of trauma on the body and mind. Understanding how trauma can influence your pain helps to demystify your experiences and can empower you on your healing journey.

Seek Professional Support: Consider talking to a therapist or coach who specializes in trauma and pain. They can help you navigate your experiences and provide strategies tailored to your needs.

Practice Mindfulness and Grounding Techniques: Engaging in mindfulness exercises, such as meditation or deep-breathing techniques, can help you reconnect with the present moment, reducing feelings of anxiety and fear.

If you have undergone severe trauma, it may be challenging to do this kind of work on your own. Slowing down may feel uncomfortable, but you’re not alone. For a nervous system shaped by stress, even small moments of calm can feel unsafe. Instead of long meditations, try starting small. Take a five minute walk without your phone or pause for a few deep breaths before bed.

These gentle practices gradually teach your brain that rest is safe, creating a foundation for healing.

Set Boundaries: Learn to establish healthy boundaries that protect your emotional and physical well-being. This might involve saying no to certain activities or commitments that drain you.

Practice Self-Compassion: Many who have undergone trauma reject things like self-care because of low self-esteem and internalized messages that they do not deserve compassion. Be gentle with yourself throughout this process. Healing takes time, and it’s important to celebrate your progress, no matter how small.

Embrace Joy: Pick up a fun hobby, spend quality time with friends or family, and participate in activities purely for the sake of enjoyment.

Remember, healing is not linear, and it’s okay to take the time you need to work through your trauma and pain. Each step you take can lead you closer to a sense of peace and well-being.

August 31st is international overdose awareness day. I see so many people on high dose opioids who don't have a naloxone...
08/30/2025

August 31st is international overdose awareness day. I see so many people on high dose opioids who don't have a naloxone kit at home. If you are someone who uses opioids or know someone who does, please ensure you have a naloxone kit on hand. Even if you have been taking regular prescription doses for a long time, a simple stomach bug (that leads to being dehydrated) could result in unintentional overdose.

I also remember today all of the people I've worked with over the years, some of whom I've lost to overdose. I remember every one.

In Saskatchewan, see the link below to try and access naloxone. In Ontario, you can access naloxone for free from many sites, including all pharmacies, with just your health card.

https://www.saskatchewan.ca/residents/health/accessing-health-care-services/mental-health-and-addictions-support-services/alcohol-and-drug-support/opioids/take-home-naloxone-program-sites

08/28/2025
My piriformis has been acting up again. It's a flat, pear-shaped muscle located deep in the buttock, starting at the bas...
08/23/2025

My piriformis has been acting up again. It's a flat, pear-shaped muscle located deep in the buttock, starting at the base of the spine and attaching to the hip bone. It's job is to help with leg and hip rotation. When this muscle irritates or presses on the nearby sciatic nerve, it can cause a condition called piriformis syndrome, leading to buttock pain and sciatica-like symptoms, such as pain, numbness, or tingling down the back of the leg.

Risk factors are lots of sitting - anyone doing any of that these days?

Treatment is stretching and strengthening and sending safety signals to your brain. The more worried I get about the pain and what I'm not going to be able to do because of it, the more tense my muscles get, the more pain I'm in, and the more worried I get. It's a spiral, all right, even for me, and I know exactly what is going on and why I'm feeling what I am.

What's missing from this infographic is the nervous system soothing and the messages of safety, which make a BIG difference on pain improvement. Deep breathing, allowing the body to relax and the mind to calm are key.

What else have you found that works?

I love learning, and I love learning more about chronic pain. Check out this course on understanding chronic pain and ho...
08/18/2025

I love learning, and I love learning more about chronic pain. Check out this course on understanding chronic pain and how to treat it through Coursera and Dr Schubiner

Offered by Michigan State University. Welcome to the comprehensive course on understanding and addressing chronic pain and associated ... Enroll for free.

Dr Furlan explains treatments for different types of chronic pain. Effective management starts with knowing what kind of...
08/03/2025

Dr Furlan explains treatments for different types of chronic pain. Effective management starts with knowing what kind of pain you have! Note - you can have mixed types.

I believe survivors.
07/26/2025

I believe survivors.

The Curable App for Chronic Pain is currently on sale!!!I highly recommend this app for rewiring the nervous system that...
07/25/2025

The Curable App for Chronic Pain is currently on sale!!!

I highly recommend this app for rewiring the nervous system that is struggling with chronic pain. I do not have any association with this app and do not receive any endorsements. Just a big fan.

A guided program that helps you understand why you have pain, why it persists, and what you can do about it.

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1016/201 21st Street East
Saskatoon, SK
S7K0B8

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