02/20/2026
Long post so check out the video for the same tips...
These past few weeks have been heavy and hit hockey and school communities in real ways. When lives are lost in an accident… when violence touches an arena…or a school... it doesn’t just stay on the news. It lands in our rinks, our classrooms, and our homes.
And whether kids say much or not — they feel it.
Here’s what matters most:
You don’t need a perfect speech. You need steady energy. I learned from a mom who lost her son in an accident you sometimes have to accept the unacceptable. But how to provide support and psychological safety for children and youth who don't have the same frameworks we do?
When tragedy touches kids — especially at a rink or a school — it shakes their sense of safety kids.
You don’t need perfect words. Or for them to understand. You need calm, steady presence.
Here’s a simple, age-based guide you can use with players and parents.
Under 8 (U7–U9)
What they need: Safety + reassurance.
Young kids think concretely. They may worry:
“Will that happen here?”
Keep it simple:
“Something very sad happened.”
“Some people were hurt.”
“The grown-ups are working very hard to keep everyone safe.”
“You are safe right now.”
Do:
Keep routines and answer only what they ask.
Watch behavior (sleep changes, clinginess, regression).
Don’t:
Give graphic details.
Over-explain.
That’s okay. Play is processing at this age.
Ages 9–13 (U11–U15)
What they need: Facts + emotional permission.This age understands more — and may see things online before adults know.
Start with:
“You might hear about…”
“Here’s what we know.”
“Here’s what we don’t know.”
Normalize reactions:
“Some people feel scared.”
“Some feel angry.”
“Some feel nothing at all.”
Let them know:
Strong feelings are normal.
Jokes or bravado can sometimes cover fear. Talking doesn’t make it worse — it helps.
Watch for:
Increased irritability, trouble focusing, big reactions to small frustrations.
14–18 (U16–U18)
What they need: Respect + space to think critically.Teens may:
Debate policy.
Express anger.
Go quiet.
Pretend they’re unaffected.
Open it like this:
“How are you taking this?”
“What are you hearing?”
Avoid shutting down strong opinions unless they become harmful.
For All Ages
1️⃣ Lead with regulation
If you’re anxious, they’ll feel it.
Slow voice. Slower breathing. Grounded posture. Neutral facial expressions - you are projecting calm and safe authority.
2️⃣ Limit exposure
Graphic videos and endless replays amplify nervous systems. Use tools like Family Link (free) to limit app and overall screen time.
3️⃣ Keep connection
Eat together. Keep the routine. Talk about other things. Check in with your kid or youth every day.
4️⃣ Watch for lingering signs
If distress lasts more than a few weeks or interferes with sleep, school, or sport — consider extra support.
The real key?
Be steady. Be available. Keep routine. Watch behavior more than words.
Sports, routine, sameness are stabilizing.
Being back at the rink — or school — can restore a sense of normalcy and psychological safety.
If you are looking for additional support for you or your kiddos DM me or type Consult in the comments.
