10/24/2025
When someone loses a loved one, stop asking how old they were, how they died, or if they were “close.” None of that is your business, and none of it makes the grief lighter. Loss doesn’t come with an age limit or a scorecard. Pain is pain, and every loss is heavy.
You don’t need to understand every detail to be supportive. You don’t need to ask invasive questions to show you care. Compassion isn’t curiosity — it’s presence. It’s saying “I’m here,” not “What happened?” It’s silence, hugs, food at the door, a text that says “thinking of you.” That’s love.
And for anyone grieving — please don’t feel like you owe anyone an explanation. You don’t have to tell the story over and over. You don’t have to comfort other people who don’t know what to say. It’s okay to set boundaries. It’s okay to just cry, or not talk, or laugh at weird times, or function one minute and fall apart the next. That’s grief.
What helps?
• Let yourself feel it instead of judging it.
• Surround yourself with the people who show up quietly.
• Step away from anyone who demands details or tries to compare losses.
• Rest, eat, cry, write, scream — whatever gets you through the day.
Grief never asks for permission, and you don’t owe anyone a neatly packaged story. All you owe yourself is the grace to heal however you can.
