06/21/2025
Parents of Autistic children deal with a lot.
What I wish people knew about parents of profoundly autistic children…
We’re not just tired. We’re on alert. Always.
We don’t sleep deeply. We don’t rest fully.
Even when our children are safe, our nervous systems don’t get the memo.
We scan rooms for danger before we enter.
We memorize every object that could be swallowed, shattered, or used to self-harm.
We don’t get to relax at dinner. Or at the park. Or even in our own homes.
We are always calculating…where the exits are, how loud the room is, whether the people near us are kind or curious or about to judge.
We lose track of how many times we’ve said “no” in a day.
Not because we want to but because our child’s safety depends on it.
We love fiercely. Unconditionally.
But that love exists alongside grief. Not instead of it.
We grieve the milestones that never come.
The “I love you” we’ve never heard.
The hugs that never happen.
The kind of childhood our other kids miss out on.
We have joy. Absolutely.
We celebrate the things most people take for granted.
A shared glance. A smile. A word approximation. A safe day.
But the truth is…beneath it all, we are carrying so much.
And no one sees it unless they’ve lived it.
We don’t need pity. We don’t need praise.
We just want people to understand that behind every autistic child is someone fighting, quietly, constantly, and often invisibly, to keep them safe, supported, and seen.
Caregivers matter even if they’re not the one living with autism. And often, they do too.
