Cycle Breakers Counselling Inc.

Cycle Breakers Counselling Inc. This page is dedicated to supporting the bad a$$es who choose to carry the weight of what came before & the responsibility of what comes next.

Being a cycle breaker is not for the weak and they need to know the work they do MATTERS.

04/02/2026

COERCIVE CONTROL

It takes a lot of courage to acknowledge that the "shield" you thought you were providing might actually be a weight.

Below are some words spoken by people who have broken free. Do any of them sound similar? Do you see yourself in any of them?

Mom of 3:

I told myself I was staying for them. I thought I was protecting their world by keeping the peace, but I realized I was just teaching them how to survive in a war. They aren't just watching us; they’re learning what love looks like from us. Breaking the cycle starts with choosing a different ending.

Dad of 2:
"Staying for the kids" is a heavy burden for a child to carry. I realized that a peaceful home with one parent is better than a toxic home with two. Choosing healing over togetherness.

Mom of 3:
The hardest realization: My children were becoming experts at navigating a storm I was choosing to stay in. I wanted to give them a family, but I was accidentally giving them a blueprint for dysfunction. It’s time to show them what it looks like to choose yourself—and your peace.

Mom of 3:

The "sacrifice" of staying in a coercive relationship isn't a gift to your children—it’s a shadow over their future. I’m done telling myself the lie that "fine" is enough. We all deserve to breathe.

You are not alone. You deserve better.

If you’re looking to make this a wonderful Wednesday, then don’t forget your happy chemicals!
04/01/2026

If you’re looking to make this a wonderful Wednesday, then don’t forget your happy chemicals!




03/30/2026

YOUR BRAIN IS A CLUB & YOUR RAS IS THE BOUNCER.

Meet the most important person in your life: The Bouncer in your brain. 🧠🚪

It’s called the Reticular Activating System (RAS). Its only job? To filter through the millions of data points hitting your senses every second and only let in what it thinks is "important."

The catch? YOU define what’s important by the words you speak. 🗣️

If you say, "I’m always broke," your RAS looks for every reason to justify that.

If you say, "I’m looking for opportunities," your RAS starts highlighting them like a neon sign.

Your words are the guest list. Stop letting "I can’t" and "This is hard" into the VIP section of your mind. 🥂✨

This video is one that you, your preteens & teens can relate to! Help the people you love while helping yourself. Share this information!!

03/30/2026

POV: You realized your brain takes your sarcasm literally. 💀

The Reticular Activating System is the ultimate people pleaser—it just wants to make your thoughts come true. If you’re constantly "joking" about your flaws, your RAS is working overtime to make sure you notice them.

Change the script, change your life. 💡

I had to learn this the hard way: My brain has no sense of humor. 😅

I used to lean heavily on self-deprecating sarcasm until I realized my RAS was treating my jokes like a literal to-do list. It’s basically a biological "Yes Man"—if you tell it you’re stressed, it’ll find every reason for you to feel overwhelmed.

This is another reason why self- talk matters SO MUCH. START BEING KID TO YOURSELF!! It is TIME to start giving the RAS better instructions. ✨

The next video will give you an example of this that will be easy to share with others— te your loved ones— tell your kids that the way they speak to themselves matters!!

❤️ ✔️

03/28/2026

WANNA KNOW WHY HATERS HATE? READ ON FAM 👇🏼

It’s ironic, isn't it? When we talk about how the brain works and identify patterns of coercive control, the "intense" or "try-hard" labels usually come from the people who aren't ready to look at their own reflections. 🛡️

Haters aren't actually mad at ME they are reacting to the disruption. Learning about brain rewiring and trauma cycles forces a person to acknowledge things they’ve spent years suppressing. If they can label ME as "too much," they don't have to deal with the message.

Louder for the people in the back! 📢

When I shine a light on coercive control, IM threatening a power dynamic that some people rely on. Of course they’re going to call ME "intense"—the truth is intense!

The "try-hard" comment is just a projection of their own fear of change. It takes zero effort to be a critic, but it takes immense work to break cycles and educate others.

Why they are "hating" on ME:

Cognitive Dissonance: When my posts highlight unhealthy behaviors, it creates an internal conflict for people who either use those behaviors or have accepted them. To resolve that pain, they attack ME rather than the habit.

The "Threat" Response:

Information about coercive control identifies tactics of power. Those who benefit from those tactics—even subconsciously—feel their "control" being threatened, triggering a defensive fight-mode.

Aversion to Vulnerability:
Understanding how brains work requires a level of self-awareness that can be terrifying. Calling Me "intense" is a distancing tactic; it allows them to stay "cool" and detached so they don't have to do the hard work of feeling.

SO KEEP HATING IF YOU WANT. I WILL KEEP SHOWING UP & KEEP SHARING.

If you want to help me build this community please follow my page and consider sharing this information.

03/28/2026

Your brain has its own search engine: the Reticular Activating System (RAS). 🧠🔍

Just like an algorithm, it only shows you what you tell it to look for. Your words are the search terms.

Watch the next video to see how to hack it. 👇

THE HIDDEN COST OF BEING THE EASY CHILD. Parentification 1. Instrumental ParentificationThis is the "doing" side of the ...
03/27/2026

THE HIDDEN COST OF BEING THE EASY CHILD.

Parentification

1. Instrumental Parentification
This is the "doing" side of the role reversal. It involves practical, physical tasks that keep a household running.

Managing Finances: Paying bills or budgeting at a young age.

Primary Caregiving: Being the main caregiver for younger siblings.

Household Upkeep: Regular cooking, deep cleaning, and grocery management.

2. Emotional Parentification
This is often more subtle and involves the "feeling" side of the household. It’s when a child becomes the emotional anchor for the adult.

The Confidant: Listening to a parent’s adult problems or secrets.

The Peacemaker: Mediating arguments between parents or other family members.

The Regulator: Feeling responsible for "fixing" a parent's mood or keeping them happy.

The Long-Term Impact
Growing up too fast often leads to hyper-responsibility, perfectionism, and a deep-seated difficulty setting boundaries in adulthood. If you felt like the "mini-adult" in your house, know that it wasn't your job to carry that weight—and it’s okay to start prioritizing your own needs now.

If this sounds familiar, know that you are not alone. You can heal.

I will post a video about healing next week so be sure to follow the page so you don’t miss it.

03/26/2026

THE POWER OF A SINGLE WORD!!

Shifting our internal dialogue is one of the most powerful ways to move from a place of pressure to a place of possibility.

How often do you tell yourself, "I should have done that," or "I should be further along"? The word "should" carries the weight of judgment and unmet expectations. It’s a locked door.

When we replace it with "could," we unlock a lens of self-compassion. "Could" acknowledges that you have a choice. It honors your agency and removes the shame of "not enough."

Today, try catching your "shoulds" and gently turning them into "coulds." Watch how the pressure lifts.

WHY DOES THIS WORK?

Language doesn't just describe our reality—it shapes our brain.
Constant "should-ing" keeps us in a state of high cortisol and self-criticism.

By intentionally practicing the shift to "could," you are actually training your brain to look for opportunities rather than failures.

From: "I should have been more productive today."

To: "I could have done more, but I chose to prioritize rest."

It’s not just a word change; it’s a nervous system upgrade. 🧠

SOOOOOOO

Stop "should-ing" on yourself. 🛑

"Should" is a debt we feel we owe to an invisible critic.
"Could" is an invitation to explore what we actually need.

Which one will you choose today? Let me know in the comments one "should" you’re letting go of! 👇

IF YOU THINK THIS COULD HELP PEOPLE YOU LOVE PLEASE SHARE.

❤️

03/26/2026

HONESTY WITHOUT EMPATHY IS CRUELTY.

I’m Just Being Honest." 🚩

It’s the favorite shield of the belittler. They use "honesty" as a license to be cruel, but there is a massive difference between being blunt and being controlling.

Criticism says: "I’m frustrated by this situation."

Belittling says: "I’m superior to you."

When someone uses their "honesty" to chip away at your self-esteem, they aren't helping you improve—they are keeping you small so you’re easier to manage.

In the world of coercive control, insults are disguised as "feedback" to make you doubt your own reality.

Spot the Tactic:

The Goal: To make you feel like you can’t do anything right.

The Weapon: Using your insecurities against you.

The Excuse: "You're too sensitive," or "I'm just telling it like it is."

The Truth: If their "honesty" always leaves you feeling worthless, it isn't a personality trait—it’s a power play.

Remember this::::

"If their 'truth' only serves to tear you down, it’s not the truth—it’s a tactic."

03/25/2026

COERCIVE CONTROL:

Looking through their eyes

It’s easy to minimize our own pain. We tell ourselves it isn't "that bad" or that we can handle the control, the shifting goalposts, and the isolation.

But when we look at our kids, the perspective shifts. Sometimes, the hardest truth to face is one we can’t see for ourselves, but we can see for our children.

We want them to feel heard, valued, and free. If you wouldn't want your child to walk in your shoes, it might be time to look at the path you’re currently walking.

Recognizing the cycle is the first step to breaking it.

If the thought of your child being treated the way you are treated makes you feel protective, anxious, or heartbroken, that is your intuition speaking. We often accept coercive patterns because we’ve grown used to them—but we would never want our children to inherit them.

You deserve the same safety and respect you want for your kids.

The standard you set for yourself is the
blueprint they follow.

03/23/2026

If you feel like you're living in a cage, it’s not love. It’s coercive control. 🔒💔

Love sets you free.
Coercive control traps you in an invisible cage.
If you are being monitored, isolated, or stripped of your independence, that is not love—that is abuse. 🗣️💜

"But I love them" is what they say, but love doesn't isolate.
Love doesn't control your finances.
Love doesn't make you feel afraid to be yourself. If you are living in a cage, it is coercive control.
🚫 Cage = Control, not Love.

WHY DO I KEEP TALKING ABOUT THIS?! WHY DOES THIS MATTER?!I am begging you to share this information. It can & will save ...
03/23/2026

WHY DO I KEEP TALKING ABOUT THIS?! WHY DOES THIS MATTER?!

I am begging you to share this information. It can & will save lives.

Look at the non-fatal strangulation. This graphic highlights a sobering reality in domestic violence and trauma work: non-fatal strangulation is one of the most significant predictors of future homicide.

When an abuser utilizes strangulation, it demonstrates a specific level of control and a willingness to exert life-threatening force. This statistic is often used to help survivors and professionals recognize that even if an incident didn't result in a hospital visit, the "lethality" of the relationship has escalated significantly.

Key Clinical Insights
Beyond the 750% increase in risk, there are a few critical points regarding the physiology of these events:

Internal Damage:
Unlike other forms of physical trauma, strangulation often leaves no visible external bruising. However, it can cause internal injuries to the carotid arteries, trachea, and esophagus.

Delayed Symptoms:
Medical complications, including strokes or blood clots, can occur days or even weeks after the event due to arterial tearing.

The Power Dynamic:
Psychologically, strangulation is frequently used as a tool of total "coercive control," sending a message that the abuser has the power to take the victim's life in seconds.

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