I am a local RN and RCC interested in supporting people struggling with work related stress, health and wellness, trauma, relationship issues and coping with living in these uncertain times. I am comfortable working virtually and also outside. I work with my service dog Koltan and have a special interest in animal assisted interventions.
A guide for responding to anxiety and lack of control.
Do you find yourself scouring the internet for answers to all the questions running through your mind?Are you playing out all the what-if scenarios in your mind?Do you find that much of your time and energy is devoted to either figuring out answers to questions that don’t have answers or trying not to think about the scary possibilities, all unsuccessfully?Have you been feeling anxious, fearful, alone or without an anchor to ground you to life as we know it?Is this new way of life forever?Or just for now as our Dr. Henry reports.
For the last several months, like most of us, I have been living with many uncertainties and have many unanswered questions. Although I fully recognize that uncertainty is inevitable in life, this degree of uncertainty is a new thing we all have to cope with on a daily basis. Will my health improve enough to return to work? Will I be safe at work? Can I earn a living virtually? Things have changed and continue to evolve and change daily. Our worldviews have shifted. When this happens we can feel lost, alone, afraid, and so anxious our whole sense of well being is disturbed.
In what feels like a sudden crash of social and economic order, COVID-19 has shattered everything familiar about our daily lives and 21st-century living. The very fabric of daily life has been fractured, and our health, safety, political, and educational systems have been disrupted and brought to the breaking point. Our human service providers are fighting an epic battle under conditions and shortages unimaginable a month ago. The death toll from this virus is mounting; hundreds of millions worldwide are now self-isolating; millions have lost their job or businesses, at least temporarily; and the economy has been brought to a standstill.
History tells us there have been other tragedies of epic proportions, like two World Wars, widespread famine, climatic events like hurricanes and earthquakes, and waves of deadly disease, and even pandemic. But today, COVID-19 is our global catastrophe; it’s our tragedy at this moment in time, and so it is uppermost in our mind. And when a catastrophe so sudden, so unexpected, and so all-encompassing threatens the way we live, it’s only natural to feel a profound sense of uncertainty.
No one knows, but the stakes are staggering, and so the uncertainty of the last week feels different from the uncertainties of everyday life. Fortunately, there are several things we can do to strengthen our tolerance of uncertainty in these extraordinary times.
In his book The Art of Uncertainty, Dennis Merritt Jones writes
“Between a shaky world economy, increasing unemployment, and related issues, many today are being forced to come to the edge of uncertainty. Just like the baby sparrows, they find themselves leaning into the mystery that change brings, because they have no choice: It’s fly or die.”
CONCEPT
Uncertainty means not having control over what might happen to us. We don’t do so well when we don’t have a sense of control leaving us susceptible to anxiety, depression, somatic complaints, and a deep sense of grief or loss. Because a sense of control is so vital to our health and well-being, our minds work overtime to gain a sense of control in the face of uncertainty.
The actions that you may have found yourself engaging in recently – searching the internet for answers, playing out what-if scenarios, repeatedly worrying about what might happen in the future – are all an attempt by your mind to gain a sense of control. If you cannot have actual control, your mind attempts to make you feel as if you have control. If you think of enough what-if scenarios, and if you can find enough answers, you’ll be in control of what happens.
Of course, none of this actually gives you more control. Uncertainty is inevitable. Futile attempts to get rid of it take up a lot of your time and energy. As a result, you feel anxious and drained, and in no more control of uncertainty than before.
It is helpful to have a flexible plan consistent with the CDC guidleines for what to do to protect yourself and others when you feel overwhelmed and at risk. Considering what is within our control is the first step to developing a realistic plan and action. However, it is impossible to think through every scenario. Attempts to do that drain you of time, energy, and resources, and don’t leave enough to respond adaptively and resiliently to real-time changes in circumstances, usually ones you have not thought of or could have predicted.
There are many ways to learn to live with uncertainty. If this is happening to you some added mental health support could help you turn this adversity in opportunity.
