Kristan Barnes Counselling & Psychotherapy

05/08/2024

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Official 2024 Community Voting Awards Platform for St. John's, NL. Where the community votes for their favourites every year.

07/12/2023

It's summer! It's warm, the sun's out (sometimes 🙃), new opportunities are arising.. but! Have you checked in with yourself lately? ✅

Ensuring that we are checking in with ourselves and paying attention to our needs helps us not only feel better in the warm months but also has us practicing to be able to maintain our mental well-being when we break out the snow shovels again! ☀️🌨️

Don't forget to treat yourself like a baby! Feed, hydrate, and pay attention to yourself as you would a newborn baby. You need you too!! 🍼🥰

06/14/2023

It's not easy being a hero every damn day but I did it again.

MOTION TO CELEBRATE SUCKING AS HEROISM.

06/09/2023

05/26/2023

Love You.
G

05/24/2023

We often think about peace and happiness as adding more to life. But sometimes it's about less, cutting unnecessary things, people and choosing to not react to them.
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05/15/2023

A common misconception about starting therapy is that we only need it when we are in crisis. In reality, a proactive approach with skill building is always better than a reactive one!

Current space available for 2-3 in person or virtual clients! Head over to my page to see if we would be a good fit :)

https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/therapists/kristan-barnes-st-johns-nl/1042865

Kristan is a Canadian Certified Counsellor providing mental health support to individuals ages 7+

05/14/2023

We all make mistakes as parents- every single one of us. Repair is so vitally important-- children need to know when we mess up. They need to see their pain acknowledged and they also need a model for how to make amends.

04/25/2023

"Children do not experience our intentions, no matter how heartfelt. They experience what we manifest in tone and behavior.”
–Gordon Neufeld,
Hold On to Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers

04/19/2023

Let's be clear: Respectful parenting is NOT permissive parenting.

❌Permissive parenting = no rules/structure, indulgent = well, sheer chaos🌪️

❌Authoritarian parenting: enforces good behavior with threats, shaming, punishment, less parental warmth = an increase in worsening behavior over time + depression later in life

We are OUT with the old school way of parenting: children being seen not heard, blind obedience, listening to authority OR ELSE. This often leads to 1 of 2 outcomes: a child so compliant they grow into a compliant/people pleasing adult who blindly follows orders, someone who pushes their own needs down OR a child who learns to hide mistakes from their parents, someone whose instinct is to hide their feelings, problems, + true selves from loved ones.

The Latin root of the word discipline means "to teach." How do children/people learn best? Well, think back to the worst teacher/boss you've had. On your case ALL day, pointing out EVERYTHING you did wrong. you're there to follow the commands + shut your mouth.

Were you motivated? Did you learn/ grow? Nope, you showed up, did bare minimum + couldn't wait to leave.

Now, think of the best teacher/boss you've had. Level headed, calm, CONFIDENT in their leadership. They took charge, but you felt safe knowing they'd lead you in the right direction. They made you feel heard + invested time into you.

So, think of yourself as the calm, confident leader of your home.🏡Someone who:

✅ Leads by example, set the tone
you're strong + supportive. A boss who leads with confidence, even in times of stress, makes their employees, aka family, feel safe.

✅Makes the big decisions
You confidently decide + enforce when it’s time for a nap, what’s for dinner, + when it’s time to leave the park.

✅Collaborates
You choose the big stuff BUT you empower your toddler with age-appropriate power, eg choosing which pair of shoes they want.

✅Speaks with calm confidence
Resist the urge to meet chaos with chaos. Let your calm be contagious.

✨Want to learn how to discipline in a way that works + protects your child’s self esteem? Our course, Winning the Toddler Stage, is here to help! For people w/ kids ages 1-6. Link in bio.✨

04/19/2023

How do you prioritize your mental health? I'm glad you asked! 🥰

Are you in need of extra support? I'm here to help! Weekend appointments have been added to the online booking system. It's time to take time for you! 🌟

https://insightnl.janeapp.com/ #/staff_member/7

04/18/2023

Just a quick reminder that our mental health is equally as important as our physical health. Let's support each other and normalize that everyone's needs are different!



https://insightnl.janeapp.com/ #/staff_member/7