Tough Mother Doula

Tough Mother Doula Bebo Mia trained doula providing emotional, information and physical support to birthers having babi

Newborns suck.Someone had to say it. And I’m not sorry.A month ago I had my second baby and I forgot how hard it is. The...
11/16/2020

Newborns suck.

Someone had to say it. And I’m not sorry.

A month ago I had my second baby and I forgot how hard it is. The cluster feeding for hours without any end in sight. The crying for no obvious reason despite trying everything to comfort them. Being so tired you forgot about the pizza in the oven. This s**t is hard.

I haven’t posted in a while because my pregnancy was so rough and the last month has been a struggle and a half.

It’s hard to share the hard stuff.

But I really wanted to share this because I know I’m not alone and we need to normalize these feelings that come up in the postpartum space.

It’s okay to not love every minute of your newborn.

It doesn’t make you a bad mother and it doesn’t mean you don’t love your baby.

It means this is really freaking hard.

If you’re out there struggling with your newborn and feeling alone, please reach out to someone and if you feel like you don’t have anyone, I am here for you.

I don’t know about you but asking for help is hard for me and accepting help right when it’s offered sometimes is even h...
06/24/2020

I don’t know about you but asking for help is hard for me and accepting help right when it’s offered sometimes is even harder!

When I was a new mom I read this book called “Strong as a Mother” and it said to make a list of things you need or want done around the house and stick it on the fridge, so when people come over and ask you if you need any help with anything you can point them to the list!

I found this super helpful because I really suck at asking for help and I never know what to say when people ask me and then when I had a newborn all I could think about was cuddling and feeding my baby. I didn’t even notice the dishes and laundry piling up because of baby fog.

As a doula now I always recommend to my clients to charge an entry fee to visit baby and that doesn’t mean baby gifts! The entry fee should be something like a meal, light housework or watching baby so the parents can nap, go for a refreshing walk or take a shower!

Whenever you think “I wish I had time to [insert chore or self care]” write it on the list and when someone asks “what can I help you with?” Just point to the list without thinking about it! They asked and who the heck is going to say no to someone who just had a baby?? In my postpartum survival course I talk about how building a support system makes asking for help even easier before baby is born with lots more helpful tips like this one. For more info about the course please check out the link in my bio!

You can have an unmedicated birth if you want to but you don’t have to.You can have an epidural if you want but you don’...
06/23/2020

You can have an unmedicated birth if you want to but you don’t have to.
You can have an epidural if you want but you don’t have to.
You can breastfeed if you want to but you don’t have.
You can co-sleep if you want to but you don’t have to.
You can sleep train if you want to but you don’t have to.
You can try some or all of these things but you don’t have to if it doesn’t feel right for you or your baby.

If they work for you and make your life easier, great! Do them! And if not you can try something different!

The important thing is being open to all of the information so you can hopefully make the most informed and best choice for you and your baby.

Understanding all the benefits and any risks involved in that choice should help take away some of the pressure and stress you might feel about going into it. It is also totally okay if things don’t work out like you thought they would and you change your mind later. It doesn’t have to be all or nothing either.

As your doula I can help walk you through all of these choices and options when it comes to planning your birth and postpartum journey and then help you prepare for different situations and process the outcomes to set you up for the most positive experience.

Remember make space for your choices, breathe and be a little kinder to yourself today and everyday.

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Stony Plain, AB

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