https://www.oakandcedarcounselling.com/

Oak & Cedar Counselling Services, 263 Heather Moyse Drive, Summerside, PE (2025)

10/01/2025

October is a month where we pause and remember those who have experienced pregnancy and infant loss

Throughout this month Oak and Cedar will post on a variety of topics raising awareness with this topic, including the trauma and grief, the way that too many pregnancy losses are dismissed and minimized, how misunderstood TFMR is and how not enough support is offered, as well as resources for those who are navigating these losses.

This first post is to share a wonderful print by Baby Lemon Prints highlighting how birthing and non birthing/moms and dads have experienced loss.

Too many think early stage miscarriage, and it is that, but it’s also many other losses, some that we don’t talk about near enough

And acknowledges that nonbirthing parents struggle too, their pain as palpable, they loss not understood.

This month, please take some time to

1. Say their name. Too many families who have experienced loss feel like they can’t talk about their child, their baby. Invite them to talk, if they want. Use their child’s name, they want them to be known and remembered.

2. Light a candle on October 15th, the official day of remembrance. Join the wave of spreading awareness, and holding space for those who have said goodbye, sometimes before they ever said hello.

10/01/2025

Hope you can take a moment to vote for Oak and Cedar Counselling Services

Here is the website!
https://charlottetown.communityvotes.com/n/1267451-oak-and-cedar-counselling-services

Oak and Cedar has lovingly been nominated in two categories:

Therapy and Counselling (Healthcare)

And Psychology Clinic (Services)

Thank you so much and we are excited to be nominated with such amazing therapists and clinics!

💛💛

09/30/2025

Today is National Truth & Reconciliation Day

In Charlottetown - 95 Rochford Street - there will be a ceremony which will include a moment of silence as well as prayers, songs and lowering of the flags.

Tomorrow - Oct 1 - is Treaty Day and there are several events across the Island, including Lennox Island and in Charlottetown (both are open to non-native to come learn, embrace peace and friendship and seek awareness and understanding)

Today though. Pause. Listen. Learn. And help your kids do the same. It’s not just an orange shirt day, teach your kids what it means, why it matters.

Artwork my .star.designs and I encourage you to follow her. Her art, her creativity, her words, it’s all breathtaking.

09/29/2025

I love somatic therapy
I love the mind body connections it invites into the therapeutic space

For at home exercises, here are a few I like (and use!)

Give them a try throughout your week and let me know which you find the most grounding and releasing for you!

09/19/2025

I hear (okay, okay, I SAY 😜) this a lot.

Hold space

Hold space for your feelings, hold space for your needs

But what does it even mean to hold space?

For your feelings, or someone else’s?

1. Holding space means slowing down. Absolutely, sometimes we just need to shelf our feelings and do what we need to do. We have errands to run and places to be. Work to do and a house to clean, mouths to feed. But, the feelings can only stuff down so deep and no matter what you do, if a feeling or a need wants to be heard - they ALWAYS find a way. So, take time through the week to slow down. Have a slower shower or bath. Sit on the deck. Meditate. Breath. Take your time drinking your coffee or tea or electrolyte alkaline balanced water, whatever you enjoy! When we go slow, we can hear. We can tune in.

2. Notice all the feelings, not just the easy ones, not just the hard ones. The body is capable (and likes to!) hold many feelings at once. It’s absolutely an amazing - and annoying - part of being human. Notice them. Where do you feel them? What do they feel like?

3. Do not judge. Sometimes you don’t have to even act. We aren’t processing, we are simply holding, allowing a feeling to exist, allowing it to peak and pass, accepting that it is there and yes, this is happening. Grief for example, sometimes there isn’t anything to process we don’t already know, and sometimes there isn’t anything we need to fix or change, just love and understanding to give.

4. So give that compassionate understanding, that love, provide the support or grounding it might need to exist without harming us. Cry. Hold space for that. Yell. Hold space for that. Move. Eat. Sleep. Connect, lean on someone else.

5. Dont problem solve your way out of the feeling. Gosh that sounds funny doesn’t it. In therapy we often are processing negative experiences with the hopes of journeying to am the other side, to create solutions that offer support and change. But holding space doesn’t ask you to fix it, make it go away, beat it out of you. It just asks you to notice it. Listen to it. Give it space to exist, space to heal, space to talk, space to be loved.

09/18/2025

This.

It is true from the bottom of my heart.

In my office you can feel.
Anything.
Everything.
Nothing is even allowed!

You can express those feelings!
I am not put off by frustration or loud noises, by movement or tears. I am more than able to hold them, keep them safe and when you’re ready to explore them I can help with that too.

You can move.
Fidget.
Get comfortable.
Lounge, sprawl, sit cross legged - whatever makes you feel in control and comfortable.

Get up a pace, tap, walk. Humming is more than welcome!

Eat. Drink.
Meeting your basic needs is allowed! if counselling can’t make space for that, what’s the point!?!

Don’t be sorry for not knowing, for being confused or conflicted, so saying I don’t know.
I get it!

In my office, no apologizing for being. For existing. For feeling.

It’s all allowed 🥰

09/15/2025

We are often told to process our feelings, but it can be hard to know how!

These slides review some ideas.

1. You may not be able to name the feeling, so start with what it feels like! What sensations do you feel? What is the feeling doing to your body? Where do you feel it?

2. Be patient and accept these feelings. They are happening, it may suck, but if we stuff them or avoid them, then sometimes we lose control of them! So, let’s accept it’s happening and get curious and proactive.

3. Let’s be curious about what the feeling is saying. If the feeling could talk, what would it say? What would it want? How would it describe its side of things? If it has thoughts attached, a whole running narrative and dialogue - then, notice what thoughts accompany the feeling, what thoughts are making the feeling bigger or bolder?

4. Are these thoughts truthful? Is the narrative factual? Is the source of all these feelings helpful or honest? ie a friend not texting back, does it actually mean you have no friends? Or could the source be wrong? Could it be unhelpful, unhealthy (unhinged 😜 some of the thoughts my feelings come up with are way out there! Am I alone?!)

5. Let’s get compassionate and support ourselves. What does this feeling need to feel more grounded? More relaxed? More supported? More comforted? What do you need to love yourself through this wave of emotions? What forward, values based action do you want to take to feel more reassured? Wise? In control? Loved?

Some ways to start the process of processing?

1. Write it out (aka Journal)

2. Talk it out (one method may be to walk or even just pace and ponder)

3. Draw it out (use creative outlets to express and process)

09/10/2025

As we move into Fall and Winter
Some may be filled with warmth and anticipation

But others, especially those whose mood and thoughts shift with changing weather patterns, may feel a sense of dread of nervousness about what is to come

Please know if you have patterns of seasonal depression or anxiety, burnout and chronic fatigue that hits in the coming months, to reach out for support anytime! That there may be strategies and supports more than this post to help 💛

But, if you feel like some small lifestyle changes might help, a different perspective on the whole winter thing

Might I suggest the book The Little Book of Hygge by Meik Wiking

Hygge is about a lifestyle shift that accepts the dark cold months by embracing warmth, connection, simplicity and collaboration.

Some ideas are as pictured

1. Movement and exercise.
Walking, biking, snowshoeing, cross country skiing. It’s hard to move in the cold, in the dark, but time outside, time in movement, does bring a kind of warmth to the soul

2. Adjust lighting. Go for warm, soft lighting. No glares, no bright and bold. Candles, twinkle lights, or warm yellow glow lamps are all nice choices

3. Cozy. Wool sweaters. Cozy blankets. Curl up with hot drinks like chai tea or apple cider and a good book. Socks. Hats and puffy vests that swaddle you.

4. Gather. Connect with people. Pot luck. Board games. Share recipes. Share harvests. Share meals. Connect, support one another, simplify one another’s lives.

5. Bake. Make. Create. Try your hand at bread or soup. Bake for others, bake to share, bake to enjoy. Enjoy soups and broths and warm cozy meals that fill your heart and soul.

Share with me your Hygge plans this fall and winter!

09/09/2025

Protecting and prioritizing our sleep is one of the best things we can do to reduce our risk of mental and emotional distress. Not getting enough sleep and poor quality sleep is often linked to higher levels of depression, anxiety, burnout, emotional deregulation, difficulties with ADHD, memory and even overall functioning in work and life!

Here are some tips and tricks to try ❤️

1. Digitally unplug 45-60min before bed!

2. Try to avoid heavy or hearty meals and snacks before bed

3. Hydrate! Hot or cold water can be helpful.

4. Change to light cotton, or even silk sheets to help regulate temperature. Or use a chilly sheet on your mattress.

5. Shower or have a relaxing bath. It eases tension and helps regulate temperature. Aromatherapy can also be used to enhance rest and relaxation. My go to is eucalyptus or lavender, but you choose what feels quieting to your soul!

5. Stretch before bed! Yoga, slow stretching can all be helpful to get relaxed and soothed.

6. Skin and oral care routines. It helps our bodies feel fresh and more clear headed.

7. Journal if experiencing any ruminating thoughts. Creative expression like doodling or bullet journaling are great too!

8. Read a chapter from a book (I would not choose one that is exciting, it may have the opposite effect!)

9. Meditate or prayer, helps quiet the mind and regulate the breathing.

10. Some find it helpful to organize the next day prior to bed (ie lay out clothes and make lunch) to ensure the brain feels relaxed and at peace.

If you wake up through the night and are having trouble. Some ideas to try:

1. Visualization or dream planning. Picture calm, soothing spaces or places.

2. Keep lights off and quietly slow or sloth stretch. Do some very very slow yoga positions to loosen tension. Progressively muscle relaxation can also be helpful.

3. P*e, or grab a cold or warm drink. Don’t stay and toss and turn. After 10-15min get up, move gently with low lighting. Then after 10min or so, try again.

4. Intentional breathing exercises, aiming for deep, slow, patterned breathing.

5. Using soft lighting, take 2-3 minutes to journal thoughts or read a book, then do number 4 again with lights off.

09/04/2025

I often use

Internal Family Systems or Ego-States

in therapy.

One, because both fluidly co-exist with other therapy models we may want to use/need (ie EMDR)

Two, both approaches are guided by me as your therapist but they are fully developed by you, the client! The models centers on you, and you fill in all the blanks with your instincts, experiences, perspectives and feelings.

Three, because they are client centered, they are also trauma informed. Validating your experiences, valuing your autonomy and consent. These therapy models do not rush, they go at your pace and we go as deep as you want to go. They value historical and present day experiences, while also focusing on moving toward a future that is integrated with healing

Four, they let us be creative. There is a structure, but together - you (the client) and I, get to use your imagination, creativity, and intuition as much as we want to

So when you hear therapists talk about Parts Work

We are often referring to Internal Family Systems or Ego States Therapy

And this slide is an example of “parts” we may explore

If you’re interested in beginning therapy, this approach can be a beautiful one.

Reach out if you have other questions about these models!

08/05/2025

Being present does NOT mean

1. Not having feelings

2. Not having any thoughts

3. Being joyful all the time

4. Not experiencing any stress, challenges or discomfort

5. Being endlessly optimistic and hopeful

Being present means:

1. Being AWARE or what we are thinking and feeling in a PRESENT moment and offering compassion and understanding to those experiences

2. Remaining in the moment and not being tugged back to the past with shame, guilt or regret and not being yanked into the future with fear, worry and endless planning.

It doesn’t mean optimism, because the present moment could actually be quite uncertain.

It doesn’t mean joy and peace, because the present moment could actually be filled with grief, pain, loss, sadness or even confusion and apprehension

3. In the present moment we feel and remind ourselves of our skills, strengths and capacities. The things that are truthful and real in the moment. To notice and take in what is happening around us and a wisdom about how we want to live and be in the present moment.

Not long ago I went camping with my kids.
They were running and playing, and I was hit with a wave of reminiscing. Our 4th year at this campground, I was seeing their growth like a movie reel right in front of me. Waves of complex feelings washed over me, memories of the years gone by and an awareness of how fast it is all going and a reality that soon we won’t be here, this won’t be our annual place to be.

Being present isn’t ignoring those feelings and thoughts. It isn’t shaming myself for the resurfacing and complexity.

It’s about noticing. Being aware. Seeing them. Giving them space.

I sipped my coffee and both cried and smiled.
I breathed. Felt my feet on the grass, grateful and thankful for the memories and moments. I invited in excitement for where our traditions will take us next, and gratitude for the moment I was currently in. I watched them, in that moment, and appreciated it, while also understanding the sadness and the uncertainty. No feeling overtook. Everything fell into its place. My breath stayed steady.
And I was present, in my body, in my feelings, in my moments of reminiscing.

07/01/2025

❤️🤍🧡🖤💛💚🩷💙💜🤎🩶

I do not celebrate the government
It’s politics

I grieve it’s history and the ongoing trauma that has been created

But on another side, another part, another feeling also exists

Like awe of the diverse culture, traditions of music and food and celebration

Thankfulness for the people, the communities
For the beauty that exists within each province and territory, the ancestral and sacred lands of the First Nations communities

Gratitude for achievements and innovation in science and medicine (thank you insulin!), arts and culture, literature and technology, conservation and preservation and the list goes on

I hold complex feelings for today

But a connection to the people and the land regardless

And a hope that my kids will know a world different than what exists today

May this day be for you what you need it to be
Celebration, contemplation
Reflection, connection

Oak & Cedar Counselling Services

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