08/01/2024                                                                            
                                    
                                                                            
                                            Just bu****it, Maneesha, fresh bu****it...!
I have not struggled at all.
 I have not suffered in finding the truth. 
Yes, I have suffered much in transferring it to you. I have taken every pain possible to make you aware of your reality. In a way you are right that my illnesses or my hardships are for you, not for me.
Existence has been immensely compassionate, as far as I am concerned. I have not taken even a single step to find it. The reason was that I never got in the clutches of knowledgeability; I never became a learned scholar, although there is hardly a single man who has read so much as I have read. But my readings could not pollute my consciousness, they could not corrupt my consciousness; they were just like signatures on water.
I have read all the scriptures, but I have not allowed anything to be accumulated and fill my inner emptiness. That emptiness is absolutely pure and when I speak, I speak from my own emptiness, from my own purity, from my own innocence. 
Sometimes it coincides, that is another matter, but it coincides only when something matches my experience. Then I can say to Bodhidharma, "I agree - emptiness, no holiness, no knowing."
But when I see a small difference, it does not matter with whom - for example with Joshu, who is considered one of the greatest masters in the Zen tradition, I could not agree, although what he was saying was not absolutely wrong. He was saying, "Theway is not difficult."
 But even this much difference is enough and I can see that he has missed the point. There is no way; hence the question of its being difficult or easy does not arise. You are already there where you want to be.
Maneesha, I have suffered because I love you.
Truth has been very easy to me.
Love has been very difficult.
Truth has been without any struggle.
There was nothing to struggle with - just pure emptiness.
But to transfer that emptiness to you has been a great struggle. For thirty-five years I have been continuously struggling in this way and that way to approach you - somehow to wake you up.
Yes, in that I have suffered much, and I am going to suffer much unless you decide not to hide but to expose yourself, not to remain a seed but start growing. I have suffered because I had to say things which go against traditions, religions, nations. 
I have made so many enemies in the world that you can call me a great success, a great success in making enemies although I had wanted to be a friend. But this whole business of transferring truth creates enemies easily and friends very rarely.
But I have enjoyed this struggle and will continue to enjoy, whatever pain, whatever agony it brings - perhaps a man like me is destined to be crucified. 
And that's what the politicians of the whole world and the religious heads of the whole world are trying, but they don't want my blood on their hands........
0sho