03/10/2025
Sometimes self care is unpleasant.
I spent this day feeling really locked up along the tops of my shoulders, and just generally grumpy and irritable. Finally, near the end of the day, I decided to do some cupping on myself (as you can see from the marks in the photo).
For whatever reason, I began to feel overwhelmed by sadness (I am actually tearing up here, which may be hard to see). Rather than run from the unpleasantness of it, I decided to stay in it, to let myself feel the emotions as they came up, and to make space for unexplained tears.
Many people are surprised when I tell them that their bodies store their emotions. When you are in the midst of a crisis (or any stressful situation) where there is no space for your emotions to be let out, they have to go somewhere, often into your connective tissues. This causes all kinds of tension and pain. I know this may sound crazy and weird to some of you, but it is actually an electrochemical process. Taking the time to care for your body will sometimes bring those old emotions to the surface, which is what is happening to me here.
My gut reaction is to run away from this kind of thing. Self care is supposed to be pleasant and fun, right? The problem is, if I don’t do the hard work and let myself be uncomfortable, I will retain all of that tension and pain, and it will continue to build and cause problems. It goes against everything in me to let myself have ugly emotions. But if I don’t, it actually puts my health at risk.
Have you ever noticed that you get sick more easily when you are extremely stressed? Have you experienced that feeling of relief after a “good cry”? This concept goes deep, to the point that autoimmune conditions are far more prevalent amongst highly traumatized populations, who have experienced abuse, or suffer from PTSD. Trapped emotions = poor health.
I know from experience how hard it is to let yourself be in an emotionally vulnerable state, especially if your environment feels unstable or unsafe. But as much as you are able, I encourage you to let yourself be present in the discomfort. Don’t shy away from the ugly, even painful parts of self care. Your body will thank you.