Orangebloom Therapy & Counselling

07/31/2024

У нас в лагере на подростковой смене есть особая девочка. Нейро-отличная девочка невероятно умная и чуткая. Она другая. У нее по-другому работает мозг и из-за этого она по иному воспринимает часть из происходящего вокруг и делает невероятно крутые связи.

С помощью работы команды и благодаря абсолютно потрясающим подросткам лагеря Марабу - она стала частью группы во всех смыслах слов. Другие дети ее приняли. И она контачит и контачат с ней.

Сегодня на занятии по нейропластичности. Она задала вопрос- " Если в животе у людей живут бабочки, и они их чувствуют, чувствуют ли бабочки людей у себя ?"...

Больше слов у меня нет, я все еще обдумываю.

07/29/2024

Summer camp with teens. Taking care of their mental health

11/26/2019

December 5 we are going to have our last gathering from the event series “Mirror, Mirror on The Wall” with Bloomth Female Wellness. See you soon!

Every one of us has so many roles we portray daily. We are daughters, we are wives, we are friends, and we are colleagues. We are neighbors, bosses, clients, classmates, leaders, role models, muses and so on and so on… But the most important one for many of us is being a mom! 🥰🥰🥰

We want to remind you that on December 5 we are going to have our last gathering from the event series “Mirror, Mirror on The Wall”. Sveta Model from Orangebloom Therapy & Counselling will talk to us about the role we play as a parent. She also will touch base on the issues of parenting teenagers. Jana Tuhman together with Anna Levakhina will talk about the importance of understanding your hormonal health as long as hormonal health of your teenage kids. They will also teach you the most essential food habits you should have in order to stabilize it better.
We are waiting for you all on Thu, 5 December 2019 at 7:00 PM. VIVA Thornhill Woods, 9700 Bathurst St., Maple, ON L6A 4V2

Places are limited, so if you still didn’t have time to buy your tickets you may find the link in our Events section. We can’t wait to see you!

11/19/2019

Our last gathering for the "Mirror Mirror On The Wall" series project with Bloomth Female Wellness for women is coming soon. December 5 @7 pm.

We are going to talk about body image and parenting, libido and hormones. Our body and our emotions have strong relationship. Our personal stories and our choices project to our children.
See you soon!

We’re All the Same Yet We’re All Different

Very different. So different that no two of us have the same mixture of magic ingredients that make us who we are. We are born with our own set of genes and DNA and all those other biological sciencey things that seem to start us off with certain traits.
On December 5 we are going to have our last gathering from the event series “Mirror, Mirror on The Wall”. Sveta Model from Orangebloom Therapy & Counselling will talk a lot about parenting and family concerns. Jana Tuhman together with Anna Levakhina will talk about women’s similarities and differences from a hormonal point of view. They will try to help you understand your body better and learn you how to adjust to your personal cycle.
We are waiting for you all on Thu, 5 December 2019 at 7:00 PM. VIVA Thornhill Woods, 9700 Bathurst St., Maple, ON L6A 4V2
Places are limited, so if you still didn’t have your tickets just find the link in our "Events" section. Can’t wait to see you!

10/30/2019

Resistance
-I won’t do it! I will do it myself! Not this t-shirt, I want another one!
-Which one? - Another one! Not this one!

And all of this with loud protests, tears, the hands and feet flying about! As if they are trying to push away and protect their own space, rejecting any chance of making a peace, and any attempt to compromise.

This is how my boys, and other little personalities of 2-4 often show their rejection and fight for the right of their own voice, protecting the boundaries. They are testing where their willpower starts and ends. They test their power on others. And it is good that we see why it is happening, this way it is easier to handle it.

The boys grow up, and up, and up. From freckled wizards with peachy skin they turn into tall dudes with prickly cheeks and strange voice. Over a night little nestlings turned into awkward teenagers. And here goes parent’s nerves testing. Mood swings, sudden changes from kid into adult, there and back, thousand times a day, without a single warning or explanation. Sometimes, they purr like cuddly cats, but more often, roar as bear in the kitchen.

-You do not understand anything! I don’t want to! I don’t want to go to music! Never! You know nothing! I don’t want to study, I will be a businessman! I will figure it out! Don’t stick your nose into it! Stop bothering me! The doors flung shut, secrets and whispering with friends, closed door, screams, the phone always in the hand, endless texting and pictures, mess in the room.

What a nightmare! How to survive this? What should we say? How not to scare them away? Endless worries because of these tall half mature people. They, sometimes, manage to reason so well, and at the same time manage to do a million of stupid things. You are simply scared for them. They are so easy to hurt and scare away. They are so vulnerable on the inside and so prickly with us, outside. How can we protect them from themselves and others?

In reality, the teenager resistance has the same needs behind, as a 3 year old. Resistance is an important mechanism in our development. With the help of resistance we test who are we and who are other people. Where my personality ends and where and how do I exist with others sedately or together? What is essential and what can I do without? Who is really close to me and who is a stranger? We test, learn and fight for our freedom.

We, adults, have also been there. Most likely, it is all completely forgotten, as many other things from our childhood. Our memory is selective. Moreover, inside the resistance feels different from outside. When you are there, for you it is a defence, but for outsiders it is offence. A lot depends on temperament.

The less the teen feels distant from their parents’ requirements and mindset, the stronger is the resistance. The less freedom of choice and independence the teen is allowed the more resistance they will show fighting for their self. It is quite logical. If you experience too much pressure, the self disappears.

In this age it is crucial to feel your willpower, know your importance, and have your very own island, where you can be yourself, with all the cracks and faults, shyness and indecisiveness. Even if it is tiny, and for a short period of time. Getting to know your own willpower and boundaries it the solid foundation, that allows us to make our choices, feel our boundaries and fight for our interests.

Getting to know yourself takes time, and allows for the possibility of trial and error. And it is very important that in this very troubled time of trial and error those who are close to you are by your side. People, who would not shut you out, people who would continue to love you and can support and accept you with all the mistakes and contradicting opinions. Only if this closeness exists, the teenagers will hear their parents’ opinion. Closeness and parental support, this is the vital foundation that gives a teen the sense of safety and strength, and allows to grow and protect themselves in this world in order to find their own place under the sun.

08/27/2019

Our Emotions

Was there anything we possibly haven’t done to our emotions? We eat them up, drown them in alcohol, burn up in smoke, cut them off, suffer, squeeze out, hide, fear, misunderstand, and refuse to accept. We flee from them and they follow us.

Sometimes they lift us up all the way into the clouds. Sometimes they keep us warm, like a soft shawl over our shoulders, cuddling us with tenderness. They ring happy bells in our hearts. But sometimes they throw us directly on rock bottom, paralysing us with fear, leaving us no strength to even move. Perfect storm.

We can walk a thousand steps; make an incredible effort just to feel loved and acknowledged. We move mountains and climb mountain tops just to feel that we are seen and valued. We can race fast, without stopping for a moment, just not to feel pain and disappointment. We can plunge into the sea of friends and endless conversations just not to face our loneliness. We can do anything to look strong – dreaming of being close to someone who cares.

No matter how old we are we will always feel the same way as if we were five, seven or fifteen when we are around our parents.

Pain, solitude, fears, disappointments are all an inevitable part of our life. You cannot avoid them. They won’t just vanish. Won’t dissolve. They are next to us, hiding inside. They surface again, if there is no way out. They will pop up in the same place, or even in the most unexpected place, in absolutely wrong time.

So how can you grow up and become stronger? How can you turn a virus into antivirus? I believe that there is only one way – to get sick. Even when it is very painful. ESPECIALLY when it is very painful. Let yourself feel. Embrace your PAIN, your fear. This is the only way to surface on the other end. There is no other way. They have not found it yet.

The strongest wave has its peak. Then it goes down, lower, until it becomes shallow. The peak passes. The waves calm down. The words appear. Then sentences, the next wave is not so high. The storm subsides. In the end you come out with the knowledge. Personal, honestly earned and suffered. The experience grows. You get armed. The confidence grows. The fears get smaller. I CAN DO IT appears. You feel the STRENGTH. Real strength. Honestly earned.

When we can do it ourselves we can pass it on as a gift to our kids. As love and generosity, kindness and understanding. We can be next to them. Together. Support them. Understand. Break their fall. Hear and see the weight they carry inside. And they feel better, closer to someone, not too lonely, not too painful, a bit lighter. A bit more comfortable in this world and with themselves.

I am always talking about emotions in parenting groups I run. Every time I feel excited and inspired by the meetings with parents. I see sincerity, warmth and involvement, humanity and honesty in these meetings. The parents ask the questions, open up, share and support each other. They try hard, look for the keys and solutions, they embrace their feelings. It is the force to be reckoned with. And I am thrilled to be a part of this magical process.

07/09/2019

I, You, We

I often see couples that have lost connection with each other, or failed to find it. Couples with unshared concerns and hidden grudges, that grow inside and surface as ugly monsters destroying everything in their path. Couples that go through disconnection and crushed dreams. Couples, that suffer together, or one by one infertility, trying to share the pain, not to severe the ties to each other, and not to give in to disappointment. Couples, that experience loss, and do not know if they are strong enough to choose life.

The scripts for pain in relationship are endless. Each kind of pain has its story and its own script. Entangled knot with many threads, fragments, connections, events, words, people, conditions, fantasies, disappointments, fears, hopes, all together or separately.

I believe that only allowing ourselves to survive pain we can come to transformation, together or separately, slowly and carefully. But to suffer the pain is necessary, so that you could surface on the other side – stronger, bolder smarter and kinder. Otherwise the pain grows inside, it does not disappear, does not go away, only transforms into sickness, or surfaces shielded by fear and anxiety. And I am nearby, sometimes supporting silently or with words.

In the beginning I am trying to put the parts together, get the idea, understand the heart of the problem. I ask a lot of questions. Some things need to be untangled, some things connected. Sometimes, invisible has to be seen and unsaid to be heard. It helps to recreate the big picture - stretching wide and deep beyond the frame, with all the details and participants of the events, the ones that were in the picture recently or a while ago, those alive, or who have departed but will have the meaning for us outside of real time and space. In the inner reality, which surfaces and creates our real personal story independently and together, forming what we call relationship.

I often start my work with a couple with a question: did you come to “marry” or “divorce”? And, sometimes, it is a help in understanding what they need is what required from me.
Relations can be painful, or vice versa fill with energy, offer support and security, confidence and happiness and serve as a platform for personal growth of each partner, and as a couple together.

For me it is important to find what is hidden inside. Find the key to the place where few have access. In the very spot that all of us have before we build defence, where we are vulnerable and sincere at the same time. I need to do this for each partner. In the inner personal context. I am trying to be perfectly honest and careful.

What is Relationship? Why do we need them? What is intimacy and why are we trying to achieve it in relations?

It is important to see and understand the personal needs of each individual, in order to get the true meaning of TOGETHER, where there is a room for each partner at the same time and one by one, taking in consideration the needs and priorities, and understanding the values of each person, and the other partner.

Relationship is a complicated dance, where each partner takes turns leading and following the steps, finding the delicate balance between I, You and We.

06/17/2019

How to bring up a child who with love SELF?

I often hear this question from my clients: how to bring up a child who will love SELF? I often ask this question myself, as a parent and as an adult, who through the prism of personal and professional experience see that many painful experiences and tests I could easily pass by, if only I have loved myself at the time. But this, as many other important discoveries came with experience. But then, what happened happened.

Every parent wants to protect their child from pain especially where they were hurt themselves. We want our children to be happy.

So how to bring up a child will love SELF? A confident child. A child that can make the right choices, and has the inner core that guards him or her.
Unfortunately there is no recipe. It takes time, understanding of the child’s needs, sensibility, a lot of patience and a very delicate approach. And also there are us, parents and humans, with our choices, done as humans and parents. Every parenting choice has consequences. These consequences affect the child directly. A lot of things, especially complex and delicate ones, such as emotions and love, our children learn to read into even before our words and actions.
Now I know that it is impossible to teach a child to love self, if we are not capable of it ourselves. Kids learn this from us. They are wise and delicate, honest and sincere, they feel pretense at any age.

It is not enough just to love them, if we want them to love themselves. We have to love OURSELVES at the deepest, cellular level. Only then the love for themselves will grow in their tender souls. It will happen by itself, as a mirror reflection.

And now, let me ask you, in my opinion, the most intimate and the most overused question. Do you love yourself? In there, deep inside your inner “I”. In there, where you look with admiration and curiosity, love and respect, without critique, cynicism and chasing likes. In there, in calm and quiet, in acceptance of your cracks and imperfections, with warmness and softness.
The person like you will never exist! You are a miracle, you are unique! Your image and your skills are one of a kind. Everything about you is beautiful and harmoniously interconnected, and filled with respect towards yourself and others. Can you feel that towards yourself?

I have no answer. I only know that we WANT to love ourselves, and understand the importance of this love. Love is a very popular conversation topic. Love in relationship, in a family, love for kids and for ourselves… But can we do it? Nobody taught us, and there was nobody to learn from.
Our parents thought love for themselves was unnecessary privilege. A whim, a thing for spoiled people, a game. Selfishness, if not anything else! We were taught chess, music, calculus, languages, literature, and dance. But nobody taught us to love ourselves, be gentle and kind towards ourselves and others. We grew up demanding, clever, successful, and this list will be long and glorious, but there will be no love to ourselves.

And this is why we have a complex task – to learn to love ourselves in adult age. Love for real, with open heart. It is only then we will be able to pass on this delicate gift to our kids.

11/14/2018

11/12/2018

I have been honored to participate in a professional panel of experts as part of the really cool event - Malia Indigo The Plus Toronto Plus Size Fashion Show. I loved it! I loved the honesty, the depth, the glamour and the beauty. The combination between all of them, the flavor of real stories and feelings. It was touching and brave, meaningful and sicere, engaging and magic.

It was first time for me being in a spotlight. Beauty and style were all around. It was powerful, crossing limits and definitions.

What is a real beauty? I believe that beauty is a projection of that inner truth, kindness, acceptance and love from inside out and not the opposite. It is much more than just size, shape or color. I believe that nobody from outside should tell or decide for us what is beautiful and what is not. Unfortunately body shaming is still around. Even though based on statistics 67% of all women are above size 10, it is still considered LARGE or even Extra LARGE size in some brands. If we look around beauty still has a very skinny look. I won’t mention all the pressure it creates upon women, mothers and daughters, since it is already a fact.

We, women, love feeling beautiful. We need that feeling. Feeling beautiful means feeling our power and being belonged, feeling loved and appreciated. I will challenge and ask - how we can help our self and other women around us - mothers and daughters, coworkers and strangers, our friends or neighbours, to feel that?

Unfortunately by just saying - Be who you are!, Accept yourself! Just be yourself! The desirable result is not achieved. It is not that easy and simple to do that. By saying these sentences too often we create more confusion and disappointment. It sounds so easy, but to get there takes time and effort, sometimes it needs support and lots of patience.

Maybe we can start first with being kind with our self and with others. It will already be a huge step. Have a nice and beautiful week everybody!

PS Thanks to talented Olga Hutsul for a great shot.

10/25/2018

My name is Lior Sveta Model. I am a registered social worker and psychotherapist. I have over fifteen years of clinical experience offering psychotherapy to teenagers and students, adults and families, facing parenting crisis, people, struggling with identity issues, low self-esteem, loss and other challenging transitions in life.

I have deep love and compassion for our complicated human nature. My experience has led me to believe that we are much more resilient than we think of ourselves.

My life has taught me all about difficult transitions and starting over. Having lived in three countries and coming from a diverse cultural background I can relate to real life problems confronted by all of us on a daily basis. I know about life challenges from my own experience and I truly believe that makes me a better therapist.

In my work, I use an eclectic approach that is a combination of my educational background and field gained experience. I base my practice on various modalities such as Attachment-based G. Neufeld’s Theory, Integral Theory, Existential Psychology, Art Therapy Techniques, Mindfulness, and Psychodrama.

I am a registered member of the Ontario College of Social Workers (RSW, MSW) and a Certified Group Facilitator.

Master of Social Work, University of Windsor
Bachelor of Social Work, The Hebrew University of Jerusalem
Postgraduate Diploma in Group Facilitation and Psychodrama, Kivunim Institute
Postgraduate courses in Addiction Treatment
Courses and Intensives for Professionals from Neufeld Institute