12/17/2025
✨ Wellness Wednesday ✨
Over 15 years ago, I was diagnosed with spleen qi deficiency.
At the time, I identified strongly with that diagnosis — believing it was something wrong with me, something I would always have to manage, something permanent.
But recently, I’ve had a powerful realization.
That diagnosis wasn’t my identity — it was a snapshot of my life at that moment.
When I look back, everything makes sense.
My life was in chaos.
I was navigating family conflict, separations, court, career uncertainty, moving, unemployment, emotional trauma, and constant survival mode. I wasn’t eating well. I was smoking. I was living on stress, worry, and convenience food — or not eating at all.
In Traditional Chinese Medicine, spleen qi deficiency is linked to worry, overthinking, chronic stress, and poor nourishment.
And that’s exactly where I was.
The diagnosis wasn’t a life sentence — it was information.
Over the years, I slowly made better choices. I changed how I ate. I chose nourishing food over garbage. I created new habits. At the time, I thought it was only diet-related because I didn’t feel stressed — but now I know the truth.
I wasn’t calm.
I was disconnected.
I wasn’t allowing myself to feel emotions.
I was living in survival mode for so long that it felt normal.
The only time emotions surfaced was when they overflowed — often reactive, sometimes over small things.
What I see now is this:
I unknowingly carried that diagnosis with me, identifying with it, reinforcing it, believing there was something inherently wrong with me — instead of recognizing it as a temporary state created by my environment, lifestyle, nervous system, and emotional suppression.
And here’s the shift I’m choosing now:
I am the creator of my reality.
I get to choose what I worry about.
I get to choose what I put into my body.
I get to choose how I care for my nervous system.
So today, I no longer identify with spleen deficiency.
I identify with awareness, regulation, nourishment, and choice.
This doesn’t mean ignoring the body — it means listening to it without turning a chapter into a lifelong identity.
✨ A gentle reminder for all of us:
Be mindful of what you identify with.
Something temporary can become a lifelong struggle if we attach our identity to it.
Your body responds to stress, nourishment, emotions, and safety.
And those are things we can influence.
Healing isn’t about blaming yourself — it’s about reclaiming your power.
xo,
Stephanie
