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Talk Therapy with Vera

Reaching out for support is a courageous and admirable step; it's essential to find a therapist who'

11/28/2025

There’s no right or wrong way to navigate this. A sore wound can be just that - something that is sore but may fade in intensity as time goes by.

That said, there is a specific type of grief in seeing a parent you once knew in a certain way, embark on a different path than you imagined.

Whatever you choose, distance, limited contact, cautious connection,
you’re allowed to choose what protects your heart.

And you don’t have to decide all at once.

11/25/2025

This is a season to bring in more compassion than judgment.
More noticing than pushing.
More softness than self-critique.

It’s okay to feel low.
It’s okay not to feel motivated.
It’s okay if you’re moving slower.

This can also be the season to let “housekeeping” be whatever you need it to be. Perhaps it's in the daily naps, listening to your body more and giving it what it needs, cleaning the house or your space, journaling, watching a movie, getting to that project you needed more time to do, etc.

Be still and listen to what your world needs.

11/21/2025

Looking for a more affordable therapy rate? Now is your chance!

Meet Taylor Hart, our student therapist, who is an MSW candidate.

As a racialized adoptee, her personal experiences have shaped her deep understanding of identity, resilience, and mental health. Taylor takes a compassionate, client-centred approach, drawing on both her education and lived experience to support others in their journey toward healing, growth, and empowerment.

Book a free consultation with us to learn more!

11/17/2025

It’s these small, steady moments that remind me: I don’t have to be productive to deserve peace.

I’ve been using box breathing a lot lately, and it’s been such a small but steady lifesaver for my anxiety.

I grew up always doing, always anticipating, always trying to stay one step ahead. My nervous system got really good at being on high alert.

Box breathing: just four simple counts to inhale, hold, exhale, hold
It gives me a way to press pause. It tells my body, you’re safe right now.

It doesn’t make anxiety disappear, but it helps me slow down enough to notice what’s happening instead of spiraling. Sometimes I do it between sessions, or while waiting for my tea to steep.

11/14/2025

People-pleasing often begins as a way to feel safe, loved, or worthy, especially when love or approval once felt uncertain.

For many children of immigrants, conflict is tied to rejection or the fear of not being enough. Over time, this can lead to carrying everyone’s expectations, even at the expense of our own needs.

It’s a slippery slope, and it's sometimes hard to be aware of.

Pausing to notice the fears underneath the “yes” creates space to ask: Whose approval am I really seeking?

And what might shift if I allowed my own needs to matter, too? 🌱

11/13/2025

When your mind starts spiraling into worrying, predicting, and overanalyzing, the STOP method can help you pause before you drown in the “what ifs.”

S – Stop. Literally pause.
T – Take a breath. In through your nose, out through your mouth.
O – Observe. What’s happening in your body? What story is your mind telling?
P – Proceed. Choose your next step with awareness, not fear.

As a therapist (and someone who knows what it’s like to grow up with constant pressure to “be prepared for anything”), I love this tool because it interrupts the survival mode so many children of immigrants live in.

It helps you create space between you and your thoughts.

11/11/2025

Sometimes the most challenging part of healing isn’t the pain itself, it’s realizing the people who caused it may never understand it the way you need them to. It’s the grief of what could be.

As children of immigrants, we often carry this quiet hope: that one day, our parents will see us, hear us, and love us the way we’ve longed for.

When you accept that your parents may never change in the way you want, you begin to release yourself from waiting for a moment that may never come.
That’s when your healing starts to belong to you.

You can’t control how they show up.
But you can control how you choose to care for yourself, how you protect your peace, and how you reparent the parts of you still hoping to be chosen.

11/06/2025

What is your intention in sharing what you share?
What are the consequences after sharing?

These are the questions that come to mind when you have a complex relationship with your family.

What are some things you’ve trained yourself to do to mitigate unfavourable reactions from your parents or even to protect everyone’s peace?.

11/03/2025

When I first started speaking out against anti-Asian hate, I didn’t see it as “advocacy.”

It was survival.

It was finding a voice for all the moments I had stayed silent; the jokes brushed off, the stares, the fear that somehow we had to be the ones to make others comfortable.

Over time, I realized this work is about more than fighting hate.
We also deserve to shape our culture: how we see ourselves, how we show up for one another, and how we refuse to disappear into silence again.

Advocacy, for me, is also emotional work.
It’s holding space for grief and anger, and still choosing to build something better.
It’s believing that healing and justice can coexist. We can love our communities fiercely while demanding change.

To everyone doing this work in big or quiet ways:
You are part of the shift.
You are shaping what belonging looks like for the next generation.

10/31/2025

Ever feel like no matter what you do, it’s never enough?

Or catch yourself saying things like, “I should have known better,” or “I can’t mess this up”?

Part 2 of cognitive distortions is the category that messes with how we see ourselves, our worth, and our responsibilities.

For many children of immigrants, these patterns run deep.
We were taught that hard work equals love, that mistakes bring shame, and that other people’s feelings are somehow our fault.

So we grow into adults who personalize everything, live by impossible “shoulds,” and label ourselves harshly for being human.

It could sound like:
“My coworker seemed off; it must be because of me.”
“I should be further along by now.”
“I failed that one thing, so I’m a failure.”

These distortions twist our sense of self.
They make us take on guilt that isn’t ours, minimize our wins, and hold ourselves to standards no one could meet.

The truth is, you’re exhausted.

How can you learn to soften that inner critic, to see mistakes as moments instead of verdicts, and to let yourself be worthy without having to earn it?

10/27/2025

Ever catch yourself rehearsing an argument that hasn’t even happened yet?

Or replaying a text message, wondering if that “k” actually meant “I disappointed them”?

For many children of immigrants, these cognitive distortions can feel almost second nature.

We grew up reading between the lines, translating not just language but tone, silence, and moods.

Our brains became expert at anticipating what others might need, think, or feel, because sometimes that’s what kept the peace at home.

But that same hyper awareness can follow us into adulthood.
It turns into mental gymnastics:

Mind reading (“They didn’t reply, did I say something wrong?”)
Fortune telling (“If I speak up, it’ll blow up”)
Catastrophizing (“If I make one mistake, I’ll let everyone down”)

These cognitive distortions often drive anxiety, especially for those of us taught to avoid conflict, make others comfortable, or always be prepared for the worst.

The truth is, our brains are still trying to protect us from rejection or shame.
But not every silence means disapproval.
Not every cloud means a storm.

Part 1 is about noticing when that inner narrator starts scanning for danger, and gently reminding it: you’re safe now.

Not everything needs decoding.

10/23/2025

A reminder that: You don’t have to be in survival mode anymore. AND you can build safety without overanalyzing every detail.

Healing means learning that you can feel safe even when things are uncertain:
You can pause without everything falling apart.
You can trust yourself to handle what comes, without overanalyzing every possible outcome.

This is what breaking intergenerational cycles can look like: building safety in your present instead of rehearsing your past.

Address

Virtual Office
Toronto, ON
M6K0A5

Telephone

+16474931557

Website

https://www.talktherapywithvera.com/

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