01/15/2026
i’m 36 and a bit embarrassed to admit that:
1. i spent most of my life trying to shrink my body, my emotions, my thoughts but instead of quieting me, it just created chaos i didn’t know how to calm.
2. i started my first diet when i was 10. i thought eating salads for a week would make me feel better about myself. instead, it taught me that my body was a problem that needed fixing.
3. i learned to be the strong one early. third parent. caretaker. responsible. and even when i’m tired, it still feels unsafe to fall apart.
4. i push myself hard because i hate the thought of not finishing what i start. but sometimes, i mistake exhaustion for failure.
5. i’ve lived most of my life in extremes — all or nothing, on track or off. now i’m learning that “good enough” is still progress.
6. i often feel behind — in work, in love, in life. there’s a part of me that still believes i’m running out of time.
7. i’ve lost and gained the same weight more times than i can count. but the hardest part was learning to forgive the girl who thought she had to earn her worth.
8. i’ve moved more than twenty times. being the “new one” became my normal. but sometimes, i still ache for roots.
9. i’m still learning how to rest without guilt, eat without fear, and exist without trying to prove that i deserve to.
i’m not trying to be perfect anymore.
just softer. stronger. more grounded in who i am — not who i was told to be.
if you’re learning to do the same, you’re safe here 🤍
