03/14/2021
Do you spend a hell of a lot of time trying to be good at the things you suck at?š¤
Trust me, Iāve been therešāāļø. I lived in that space for most of my life- trying to be the person who could organize papers, the person who was detail oriented, the person who knew where everything is.
I tried to fake it, and I felt inadequate and ashamed every day. Frankly, it didnāt get me very far: it just spiralled me further and further into shame, and left me drifting further and further from where I was meant to be.
You see, there are parts of me, of my brain, that donāt work the same as that āgold standardā the world set out for me. Iām sure this is the case for you, too...it is for most of us! And there are also parts of me where I really excel, where I am gifted, that took me a while to own.
As it happens, I was in the wrong jobs, and the right ones were there for me- I just had to figure out who I was, own it, and stop trying to be who I was not.I had to stop focusing on getting good at the things I was bad at, and start playing to my strengths.
Back the, I felt like a failure, like everything that made me me was being rejected, and like, despite how hard I tried (and trust me, I was trying so. damn. HARD), I just couldnāt stop failing to be who they wanted me to be. Who the professional world wanted me to be. Who the job ads and descriptions told me that I should be.
And so, I kept on saying that I was that person, and I kept trying to be that personā¦ and guys, I was doing it in all of the wrong jobs. And the cost? The cost was my passion, my gifts, my mental health, my joyā¦ my success.
Turns out that I had undiagnosed ADHD (later diagnosed at age 26), and I couldnāt be their version of āorganizedā. My desk would never stay clean, and they never understood my āorganized chaosā. I would always have moments where I was too chatty, where I spoke too loud, or where I had to ask them to repeat themselves.
Moments where peoples questions and instructions took me a moment or two too long to register because I was so focused on what I was doing, or I was still mentally on another thought.
Moments where they would look at me and say things like āā¦hello?ā, or āhow did you miss thatā, and I couldnāt give them an answer: because I didnāt know. I just knew that I couldnāt help it, that I shouldnāt be shamed that way, that I didnāt belong there.
But hereās the thing: why did it HAVE to be that way? Why did I HAVE TO FIT that box?
Why couldn't I be somewhere where my own skills and gifts- my creativity, my ideas, my intuition, my coaching skills, my ability to counsel, my approachability, my patience, my compassion, my ability to 'read the room', my ability to make people feel safe, my passion for advocacy, my writing skills-- were valued?
Who decided that attention to meticulous detail and organizing papers was the definition of smart, competent, or successful? Who decided that I had to do it their way? Couldnāt I find something that worked for me, a system that worked with my own mind?
Who decided that it was okay to shame people for not meeting a certain skill-set, or that I should have to feel bad because my brain operates outside of the box?
And guess what? When I started to actually lean into what my strengths are, when I dropped the struggle and stopped trying to be who I wasnātā¦ to get good at what I was bad atā¦ my life took off. My career took off. And finally, I felt happier, healthier, and more fulfilled than I ever have.
And I want to help you get there too!
šThis week, I'm releasing an episode on The High Esteem Podcast on how I owned my strengths and dropped this struggle, and how my life took off š¤© I'm SO EXCITED about this one!
This one is for the out of box thinkers who are struggling to succeed in someone else's mold (you know who you are!š)
PS: Comment/DM me if you want me to notify you when its outš
And PPS- if you want coaching on how to own your strengths, I'm your girl! DM me about upcoming openings for private coaching!š
STAY TUNNNNNNNED!!!!
Www.thehighesteempodcast.buzzsprout.com
