Yzobela Hyett Psychotherapy

11/09/2022

EMDR, eye-movement desensitization and reprocessing therapy, is a brain-based trauma therapy, meaning that change in EMDR therapy does not come about as a result of talking about, or cognitively processing the experience. Being a very analytical person (intellectualizer, anyone?), I was initially pretty skeptical of EMDR, and did not understand how eye movements or other forms of “bilateral stimulation” could create significant emotional change. I decided to put my doubt aside to try it out for myself, and experienced the powerful effects for myself. Since then, I have:
✨ trained in EMDR,
✨ become a member of EMDRIA and EMDR Canada,
✨ engaged in ongoing reading, studying, and consultation,
✨ and am currently pursuing certification.

You could say I’m a convert! In my past few years of clinical work with EMDR I have seen clients leave a relatively brief course of therapy feeling that the distress they came in with was satisfactorily resolved. One client summarized her experience as, “weird and cool!” Yes, such a fitting description!

You can check out my recent blog post (link in bio) if you’d like to learn more about EMDR (such as, why does EMDR work, and how does it do what it does?).

11/08/2022

Workers Rights are Human Rights.

Our education workers deserve a living wage and our kids deserve to learn in a healthy and equitable environment.

11/30/2021

This is a beautiful way of understanding how to leave our “stuff” out of our children’s stories.

I am watching my teens with awe as they unfold.

I notice my urge to mold, and I choose differently.
Instead I access curiosity.

I wonder why she chose that outfit, does it say something she wants to express?

He doesn't seem to love math anymore, I wonder what direction he will head instead?

She doesn't have as much passion for soccer these days, I wonder what her next "thing" will be?

I wonder why he loves this song, and how it speaks to him?

Take a step back...they are unfolding as they were intended to.

This is a painting that doesn't require you to put an ounce of paint on the canvas.

It's all their paint.
Their vision.
Their dreams and ideas.

You can and should contribute guidance for the painting.

Lessons learned.
Good questions.
Foresight.

But the painting is for them to paint.

Occasionally they may need to erase the whole damn thing and start over. That's okay.....they still don't need your paint.

They need your love.
Your unconditional belief.
Your support.

Notice the urge to paint on their canvas, and instead ask questions about the picture THEY are creating.

Breathe and believe. They've got this. Trust the job you have done thus far and lean into your new job.

Your new job is to have the paint ready at a moment's notice. To supply every color of paint you can. To be a leader by modeling not by instructing. To have your own life and your own interests.

To never, ever stop believing that the painting will be finished one day.....and it will be the best damn painting you've ever seen.

To be present without being needy.
To be loving without creating guilt.
To be THERE without being so THERE!

Nobody said it was easy.....and it's the best job you will ever have the privilege of creating.



P.S. I originally wrote this post a couple of years ago referring to my then tween and teen. I now have two teens, and I feel even more passionately about this piece as I look around and notice the vast amount of parents that believe their teens need THEIR paint on the canvas. They believe that only they know how to paint that canvas and it should be painted as it always has. I encourage you to breathe, and be curious. Paintings aren't supposed to be replicas of each other.....and honestly, it doesn't really matter what your painting looked like at their age. This is a new human, with new ideas and new abilities.....let's just see what they paint....trust me on this one.

06/30/2021

A great explanation of why we need our language to evolve.

06/26/2021

True story.

06/18/2021

So much this. Not only accepting our kids’ feelings without judgment, but our own also.

I’ve noticed that I am much more confident and in control of my emotions/responses on the weekend when I have not spent the majority of my day at work, away from my son. The rest of the time, especially when I’m tired or unfocused, I feel that I am poorly responding to his tantrums, demands, …...

06/04/2021

Thank you to the advocacy of the Canadian Perinatal Mental Health Collaborative! Amazing work to protect the wellbeing of new parents across Canada 💗

As the pandemic drives an increase in the number of mental health crises among pregnant women and new mothers, the NDP is pushing for a national mental health strategy to help women through pregnancy and into motherhood.

04/17/2021

There's no such thing as "spoiling" a baby. Furthermore, we should be "spoiling" moms, too.

Be extravagantly affectionate

11/26/2020

every day