08/22/2025
💜 New Blog Post From www.ThynkTherapi.com/blog 💜
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What Does It Really Mean to Be Authentic?
Hint: It’s not about being raw, loud, or fearless, it’s about being real.
"Just be yourself." We hear it all the time. But what does that actually mean?
What if you don’t know who that is? What if “yourself” changes depending on who you're with? What if being authentic feels unsafe?
In a world that constantly tells us who we should be, more polished, more agreeable, more productive, more positive, authenticity can feel like rebellion. And sometimes, it’s hard to know whether you’re being real… or just playing a role you’ve had on repeat for years.
Authenticity Is a Relationship, not a Personality Trait:
Being authentic doesn’t mean saying everything you think or sharing every emotion in real time. It’s not about being loud or bold or brutally honest. It’s about being in the right relationship with yourself.
Authenticity sounds like:
- Honouring what you actually feel (not what you should feel)
- Making decisions based on your values (not just others’ expectations)
- Saying “yes” when you mean it & “no” when you don’t
Letting the version of you on the outside match who you are on the inside
And here’s the key: authenticity is not an end state. It’s a practice. It’s a slow unlearning of everything you’ve been taught to be, in order to become who you already are.
Why It’s So Hard To Be Real Sometimes:
Let’s be honest, authenticity can feel risky. Especially if you grew up in environments where:
- Your emotions were ignored or punished
- You had to earn love by being “easy” or “good”
- You were told to smile when you were hurting
- You were only accepted when you performed or pleased
In those environments, authenticity didn’t feel safe, adaptability did. So it makes sense if, now as an adult, depending on the circumstances, you hesitate to speak up or share too much, take up space or make yourself small, or change how you present depending on who you are with. These are not flaws… they are protective mechanisms that developed throughout your life in response to the environments you were exposed to.
Signs You're Reconnecting With Your Authentic Self:
- You stop needing everyone to agree with you
- You start noticing what feels right in your body, not just your brain
- You feel relief (even if it’s uncomfortable) when you tell the truth
- You begin to set boundaries... not to punish, but to protect
- You feel less polished, but more at peace
Practicing Authenticity in Daily Life:
Check In With Yourself Often: Ask, “Is this what I actually want? Or what I think I’m supposed to want?” That one question can change everything.
Name What’s True - Even If You Don’t Act On It (Yet): You don’t have to share everything out loud. But naming your real feelings to yourself is a powerful act of authenticity.
Speak From Self, Not Strategy: Instead of trying to say the “right” thing, try saying the real thing, with kindness, clarity, and care.
Let Go of the Need to Be Understood By Everyone: Not everyone will get you, and that’s okay. Authenticity sometimes requires disappointing others to stay connected to yourself.
Final Thought:
Being authentic doesn’t mean you always feel confident. It doesn’t mean you’re never afraid, or that you always know who you are.
It means you’re willing to stay in a relationship with your truth, even when it’s messy, evolving, or inconvenient.
It means you’re done abandoning yourself to be accepted by others. Because the most powerful thing you can be in this world?
💜 Be You Better 💜
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