Therapeutic Presence

15/05/2023

We need to talk about the effects of the mean girls phenomenon. And I want to start by recommending this great episode of Small Doses podcast.

Mean girls is a typical North American phenomenon but not exclusively. After years of experience as a psychotherapist of teenage girls, boys and non-binary youth in Brazil and for the past two years in Canada, I can attest: there’s a special type of behaviour linked to the bullying perpetrated by “popular” girls in both countries, and it has everything to do with mental health during adolescence.

We can joke about it. We can make films and comic stories. And laughing helps! But we should also talk about it more seriously. And I don’t see the schools taking the issue as seriously as they should.

As Amanda well dissects in her episode about the side effects of mean girls, their typical behaviour shows their own unskillful attempt to cope with their insecurities and fears. Many times, they are victims of other bullies including parents, siblings and partners. They can be the worst judges of themselves and because of that they target others desperately trying to avoid the attention to their own vulnerability. And it works! But with a great cost. The mean girl dynamics can trigger disordered eating, self-loathing, isolation, social anxiety, self-harm… etc

One client of mine once put on words one of the most honest insights about it, talking on the group of mean girls in which she belonged: it was toxic for everyone, including for “Regina” (as we called her group leader).

If you or anyone you know have been dealing with the mean girl dynamics, remember that you really don’t need her approval, you’ll actually never gonna get it because keeping you focused on your own imaginary faults is the main reason why she’s mean to you… instead, don’t give her that much credit. She’s in need of compassion as much as anyone of us! 🫶

And if you’re experiencing any of the mental health issues I mentioned in this post, talk about it! Look for your parents or other adults who are able to help you.

13/01/2023

How do you cope with the stress and difficult emotions in challenging political turmoil?

In Brazil and other parts of the world we’re experiencing scary political turmoil this past weeks. And I just reminded of one article that I published in 2019 with Melissa Marsden with practical suggestions for you to navigate these periods without having your mental health negatively impacted. The article is in my blog and you can read it in two parts.

Check the link im my bio

https://therapeuticpresence.ca/2018/10/27/keeping-your-mental-health-during-political-turmoil-part-one/

09/01/2023

Let me show you some details of my office and your therapy space? Come with me!
1) my small collection of nice cups that you can use to drink water if needed.
2) wondering what is behind this beautiful antique room divider? A little kitchen!
3) I love birds. The duck comes from the Museum of Toys in Sintra, Portugal. The Owl is an indigenous craft from Quebec City.
4) I’d love to have more plants in my office. And this Lego orchid just reminds me of the beauty of natural ones and the importance of keeping the playful spirit alive.
5) in this corn table you see Espada de São Jorge, a plant native of Brazil that is very resilient. You also see the sculpture/toy from Brazilian artist Lygia Clark. You can play with it while talking to me!
6) this is a wood gramophone made by a Canadian artist Neil Nucifora. It makes the sound of the guided mindfulness exercises that I use in session much more pleasant and clear to hear. I love it!
7) this beautiful art work hanging in my wall is made by the artist located in Haton region .falceta and is a combination of painting with sewing.
8 ) the Tour Eiffel and the purple ametista reminds me of two special places for my formation as a psychotherapist: France and Brazil. This ametista comes from Gramado, in the Brazilian South region.
9) above my desk there’s a painting that I made inspired on the view that I had from my former home in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. And the cup that serves as pencil holder has Dr. Oswaldo Cruz caricature; he is a symbol of Science at the service of health.
10) finally, you see some books that I’ve been using in my current cases. This bookcase changes its content depending on the books I am reading with and for my clients. Sometimes, I use literature and fiction as part of my interventions.

That’s it! Have any questions? Do you want to know more about in-person appointments? Send me a message ou e-mail on cpombo@therapeutipresence.ca

* I am fully vaccinated against COVID-19 and have medical face masks and hand sanitizer at your disposal.

04/11/2022

I am so happy with my new sign board! 👏😊

And this is the perfect time to make my practice look nicer and neat! Because I'm introducing two new two services:

- Ecotherapy Groups for youth and adults
- Mental Health Counselling for transgender clients who are transitioning

Check the Services page on my website and get in touch for more information!

01/06/2022

It's that time of the year! We're preparing to celebrate sexual and gender diversity in the month of LGBTQI+ pride.

During June, I have my pride flag blooming along with my beautiful purple Iris. And this is not an excuse to be mindless for the rest of the year. On the contrary, this is a reminder for me and my community of neighbors, clients and friends to be always mindful of advocating for LGBTQI+ rights and the beauty of sexual and gender freedom.

21/05/2022

I am so happy to share with you my new page on Psychology Today! After more than one year going through the whole process of validating my 12 years of study and 7 years of autonomous practice, I finally have my certificate of registration with the College of Psychotherapists of Ontario. 🥳 Now, accepting new clients for June and July. Adolescents, parents, young adults, immigrants and LBGTQI+ community are so very welcome!

Appointments in English, French and Portuguese.



https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/therapists/carolina-pombo-burlington-on/886520

Carolina Pombo, Registered Psychotherapist (Qualifying), Burlington, ON, L7L, (289) 724-1854, My mission in this life is to help people improve their mental health, cope with crises and challenging transitions. I have accumulated about fifteen years of professional experience in multiple positions i...

02/12/2021

Muitos pais me pedem conselhos sobre como incutir valores de certo e errado nos filhos. Infelizmente, muitos usam a culpa como estratégia de convencimento. E, dessa forma, sem intencionar, submetem os filhos a abuso psicológico.

A culpa adoece, tira o poder de ação e muitas vezes interfere na comunicação saudável entre pais e filhos. A responsabilidade empodera enquanto a culpa torna seu filho mais vulnerável e impulsivo.

Para que a criança ou adolescente assuma valores coerentes de certo e errado, precisa se sentir parte da construção desses valores. Precisa ter a liberdade de opinar, errar e se arrepender, sem se sentir culpada.

Mas isso significa não oferecer regras, limites ou punições? Não. Isso significa que tanto regras quanto punições devem ser claras a combinadas, de preferência, sempre que possível, incluindo a participação da criança e do adolescente.

* Cuidado! O sentimento crônico de culpa aumenta o risco para a ideação suicída e a autolesão entre adolescentes.

* Imagem: Henri Rousseau's Stroller and Child (ca. 1905–1906)

01/10/2021

In commemoration of the National Day for Thruth and Reconciliation that remembers and honors the lives of indigenous children, yesterday I watched People of Feathers for the first time. It is a documentary film from 2011 made by Inuits who live on the Belcher Islands in Canada. The film shows the close relationship between the Inuit people and their natural environment, especially with the eider ducks. It's an amazing source of knowledge and education for Canadians and the general public concerned with a sustainable life in our country and planet. It is poetic and beautiful! I strongly recommend it.

Image: Sheojuk Etidlooie, "Mitiq", 1997 (First Arts Galery)

16/07/2021

Most people know Simone de Beauvoir as a Feminist icon. Beyond that she's also an important reference of Existentialist Philosophy. She was part of the few female students accepted by the Sorbonne at that time and was second on the French national philosophy examinations in 1927, only after Simone Weill. Beauvoir has contributed immensely for gathering the interest and recognition of gendered females' subjective experiences by Humanities including Psychology. On that quotation, she speaks about being open to future as a healthier way of subjectivation instead of insisting on the monotony and frustration of predetermined life meanings.
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A maioria das pessoas conhece Simone de Beauvoir como um ícone feminista. Além disso, ela é uma referência importante da Filosofia Existencialista. Ela fez parte das poucas mulheres aceitas pela Universidade Sorbonne e ficou em segundo lugar no exame nacional em filosofia em 1927 na França, após Simone Weil. Beauvoir contribuiu imensamente para atrair o interesse e reconhecimento das experiências de gênero das mulheres pelas Ciências Humanas, incluindo a Psicologia. Nessa citação ela fala da abertura para o futuro como uma via saudável de subjetivação, em contrapartida às tentativas monótonas e frustradas de pré-determinarmos o sentido da vida.

*Image: Strawberry Tea Set (1912) by Frederick Childe Hassam

30/06/2021

They finally arrived! My existentialist summer readings. 🤗 Three books that will certainly contribute to my practice and that I can also recommend to my clients.

- A matter of death and life by Irvin D. Yalom and Marilyn Yalom is about grieving in the end of life but mostly it's about living in love and compassion until saying goodbye.

- At the Existentialist Cafe is a fresh and humorous book about the history of existentialism in the lives and voices of different philosophers like Simone de Beauvoir and Merleau-Ponty (my favorites!) among others.

- Black Skin, White Masks by Frantz Fanon is the most awaited of the three. I already read some pdfs with parts of this historical book from 1952, but now I will finally have it all in my hands. This is one of the fundamental books for mental health professionals and clients to learn about the effects of racism and the development of racial identity.

21/06/2021

Artistic expression is not only for professional artists. It is actually an important part of human experience. There are feelings we cannot express without creativity and the arts. Especially for kids, who are developing emotional skills and communication strategies, making art can be very powerful.

Check out the campaign by which kids from 4 to 18 years old are asked to produce their own artwork telling their pandemic experiences. The Museum will select some of the work to participate in the official exhibition. Such great idea!

19/06/2021

The past two weeks have been full of work and enriching encounters! I love the first meetings with new clients. They give me so much opportunity to learn not only about them but about myself and my part in this beautiful and complex world. So I did not have much time to express myself in the social media lately. But I just wanna share with you one of the beauties I encountered this morning while riding my bike.

I wish you all the good encounters you need to feel alive!

01/06/2021

Adorei participar dessa live! Assunto que dá vontade de falar por horas... e com a contribuição de Emanuel Henrique Gonçalves Querino e as organizadoras do Concid - Conselho Brasileiro de Cidadania de Ontário foi bom demais. Recomendo a pais, educadoras, psi's, famílias vivendo no Brasil e no Canada.

25/05/2021

Mais um evento especial para brasileiros e demais falantes de português. Parabéns ao CONCID pela excelente ideia e organização!

O Concid convida para a live sobre o tema: Tempo dedicado às Telas e games: uma visão sobre o impacto na saúde mental das crianças e dos adolescentes.

Estarão conosco os psicólogos Emanuel Querino e Carolina Pombo.

Você poderá acompanhar a live e tirar dúvidas no dia 31 de maio às 7:30 PM (Toronto) pelo YouTube https://youtu.be/HZ3Tl_PohgA e pelo Facebook do CONCID.

21/05/2021

With the new article published on the Therapeutic Presence blog, I bring some recent data about teenagers, youths' and parents' mental health. The data is very concerning because young people have reported a clear decline in their mental health for the past year in Canada. Also, the WHO survey showed that around 70% os mental health services for children and adolescents in various countries closed during the pandemic.

However, more than 60% of parents and children reported an increase in spending quality time together. Families are doing a great effort! I believe that many parents are really trying to find their way of coping with their children's struggles in this challenging time. So, you're not alone! I hope you will find some helpful information and tips on my new article. Here's the link: http://therapeuticpresence.ca/2021/05/19/adolescents-youth-and-parents-mental-health-during-the-pandemic/

19/05/2021

Licensed counselling therapists across the country want the federal government to stop taxing their services. They say adding HST creates an extra barrier to much-needed mental health services.