26/02/2025
a few posts back, friday the 13th and the number 13 was shared. this is the 2nd story that I am open about in the clinical setting.
ulcerative colitis
it came quick, from diagnosis to the removal of the entire colon within weeks. The entire colon infected and near perforation, risking sepsis. the initial surgery didn’t go as planned, with survival uncertain, blood transfusions kept me alive, they called it “toxic mega-colon”.
prior to the first surgery i dropped from 180 to 130lbs in three weeks, with stools resembling tomato soup. Pain medication was withheld to avoid masking sepsis, and the pain was compared to childbirth, lasting for over three weeks with sleepless nights and food being delivered through a tube in my arm.
this experience changed everything, it reshaped how i view the world, the people in it and myself.
it took ultimate surrender. it’s the experience that softened me up, removing the chip on my shoulder i’d carried for so long after my dads death. there is zero doubt that bottling up all of my emotions is why the disease showed up the way it did.
i will forever draw from the person that had the chip on his shoulder, while remaining soft leading with love and open to anything life serves up.
reading gabor mate’s “when the body says no- the cost of hidden stress” was pivotal in my journey. It’s been over 15 years and there’s been zero complications post-op.
this experience solidified my belief that it is possible to do/ get through anything. at times, it may not be easy but it can be done.
we really don’t have much time on this earth, and i truly believe it would be a tragedy to die with any health left.
learn, reflect, challenge, grieve, accept, grow, adapt, forgive, discover, balance, transform, embrace, love, trust, pause, strength, create, expand, rebuild, discover, change.
much love
michael