An Elegant Mind Counselling Inc.

10/12/2025

09/04/2025

✨ Exciting News! ✨ We’re so pleased to welcome Curtis Holt-Robinson (BA, MSc) to the An Elegant Mind Counselling team! 🌿🧠

Curtis is a psychoanalyst who creates a compassionate, collaborative space where clients can explore their emotional worlds and move toward meaningful change. Rooted in object relations psychoanalysis, his approach emphasizes how early relationships shape the way we connect with ourselves and others today. He supports clients in building vulnerability, deepening emotional awareness, and finding clarity in life’s challenges. 💬💛

Curtis has specialized training in psychoanalytic psychotherapy and neuropsychoanalysis, with a background in working with emotional regulation, memory issues, and neurological rehabilitation. He offers thoughtful support for clients navigating anxiety, obsessionality, impulsivity, traumatic brain injury rehabilitation, emotion dysregulation, and major life transitions. 🌱

🌟 Ready to begin your journey with Curtis? Book your Free 20-minute Initial Consultation today: https://anelegantmindcounselling.janeapp.com/ #/discipline/12/treatment/351

07/19/2025

Couples often think they need a total reinvention to fix s*xual boredom. But research says: just 4% novelty is enough.

That’s it.
4% more curiosity. 4% more challenge. 4% more risk.

Maybe you change the rhythm.
Try a different time of day.
Whisper a new desire.
Make out without an end goal.

When challenge slightly exceeds your skill, you enter flow.
That’s where s*xual chemistry blooms.
Not from chaos. But from micro-surprises.

🎨 Save this for when s*x feels stuck. Follow for more therapist-written tools for relational joy. Book your free consult if you’re ready to feel desire again.

*xeducation *xasatransformation *xuality

*xualhonesty *xtherapytools

07/17/2025

Most of us were taught to treat self-pleasure as a shortcut to or**sm—or something shameful to hide.

But in my practice, I see how it can become something sacred.
A return to the body. A way to say: this is mine.

Instead of rushing to climax, try this:

Light a candle

Slow your breath

Notice what arouses your senses

Touch without goal

Let arousal rise, fall, rise again

This isn’t about “getting off.” It’s about listening inward, learning what you want, and practicing agency in a world that rarely gives women that.

✨ Save this practice to try later. Follow for more intimacy wisdom. Book a free consult if you want to feel at home in your body again.

Illustrated by Ben Wiseman

*xasatransformation *xuality

07/15/2025

The couples I see who feel most emotionally and s*xually connected?
They touch each other every day. And not just during s*x.

A brush on the back. A shared blanket on the couch. Morning cuddles.
These small moments build a body language of safety.

One study found couples who increased their daily non-s*xual touch were 36x more likely to have s*x that week. Even people who say “I’m not a touchy person” benefit.

Your body responds to rhythm, not reaction.
Touch isn’t just about access to s*x, it’s about maintaining closeness, safety, and warmth between your nervous systems.

🤲 Save this if you're craving reconnection. Follow for more therapist-backed tips for intimacy. Book a consult if you want help repairing the space between you.

*xasatransformation *xuality

07/12/2025

Every one of us has a s*xual value system. But most people don’t know what theirs is, until it’s already hurting their connection.

Do you believe s*x is for love? For closeness? For performance?
Do you expect to feel cherished after, or empty?

These beliefs come from somewhere: religion, culture, family, trauma. And if we never examine them, they silently run the show.

I ask my clients:

What’s the link between love and s*x for you?

What’s expected? What’s taboo?

What hurts you, and what frees you?

We can’t rewrite the story until we know what the current one says. And rewriting it? That’s where your freedom begins.

📖 Save this and journal on it. Follow for more therapy-rooted intimacy insights. Book a free consult if you're ready to name the story your body is still holding.

*xasatransformation *xuality

07/10/2025

Our attachment wounds don’t disappear in the bedroom. In fact, they often speak the loudest there.

In therapy, I’ve seen how anxious partners may use s*x to feel close—to prove they’re loved. But they often sacrifice their own pleasure for reassurance.
Avoidant partners may have s*x but feel miles away emotionally. They disconnect to avoid vulnerability.

Securely attached partners don’t fear closeness or need to earn it through s*x. They pursue pleasure with connection.

Understanding your attachment style can be life-changing for your s*x life. It gives language to the patterns that feel “off,” the arguments that seem out of nowhere, and the hurts that don’t make sense until you zoom out.

🪡 Save this if s*x has ever felt too much or not enough. Follow for more therapy-rooted intimacy insights. Book a free consult through the link in bio.

*xeducation *xasatransformation *xuality

*xualhonesty *xtherapytools

07/08/2025

When’s the last time you lost all sense of time during s*x? Not because you were disconnected—but because you were so deeply in it, your mind went silent.

That’s the s*xual flow state. And yes—it’s real. Neuroscience calls it “transient hypofrontality,” when the brain’s chatter quiets down, and all that remains is presence, touch, and sensation.

To get there, mindfulness helps—but it’s not the destination. Flow is about:

A safe environment

A trusting connection

A 4% stretch beyond what’s familiar
That’s the sweet spot where challenge meets skill.

Couples often try to “fix” their s*x life by going from 0 to 100—new toys, kinks, threesomes. But the research says: you only need a 4% novelty boost. A slightly different touch. A new kind of kiss.

That’s enough to unlock presence—and presence is where the magic lives.

🌊 Save this for when s*x feels routine. Follow for more science-meets-intimacy insights. Book a free consultation if you want support finding your flow.

*xeducation *xasatransformation *xuality

*xualhonesty *xtherapytools

07/07/2025

Lately in sessions, I’ve been seeing a familiar thread: women who can’t quite get to the peak of or**sm. They build arousal, feel close… and then—nothing. A quiet drop off. A mind that pulls them back. A block they can’t name.

Here’s the truth I share gently: most or**sm blocks are emotional, not physical.
We talk about “surrender,” but few mention what it actually requires: a foundation of trust, control, and nervous system safety.

You can’t surrender if your body’s still scanning for danger.
You can’t surrender if you feel like you’re performing.
You can’t surrender if you’re afraid of what might happen if you truly let go.

In our work, we learn to find safety first—through connection, presence, and often through touch that isn’t goal-oriented. The result? A different kind of intimacy, one that melts you into the moment, and lets the body lead.

✨ Follow for more insights on s*xuality and emotional safety. Save if this resonates. Book your free consultation through the link in bio if this is your work too.

Illustrated by ✨

07/05/2025

We want everything from one person — and it’s too much.
Modern love has become an impossible job description.

We want our partner to be our best friend, therapist, co-parent, financial planner, emotional safe haven, and passionate lover.
What once took a village, now has to come from one person.

Here’s why that’s too much:
Each of those roles requires different skills, energies, and even parts of ourselves.
Your best friend offers companionship and safety.
Your lover brings mystery and erotic tension.
Your co-parent demands structure, teamwork, and stability.
Your therapist listens with neutrality and emotional regulation.
Your confidant holds your fears with care.

But expecting one person to be all of these at once? It creates pressure that suffocates intimacy.
How can someone be your grounding presence and your source of wild passion — at the same time, every day, for decades?

Love becomes performance.
Desire becomes obligation.
And resentment builds quietly in the background, often unnamed.

It wasn’t always like this.
Historically, we were held by many — elders, friends, community rituals.
Our partners were not expected to carry the full weight of our inner world.

But now, in a culture that prizes independence, we’ve replaced the village with one person — and called it love.

Esther Perel said it best:
“We come to one person to give us what once an entire village used to provide.”

So what’s the way forward?

Not to lower your expectations — but to rethink them.
Let friends, community, therapy, art, and even solitude hold different pieces of you.
Let your relationship breathe by not demanding it be your everything.

📥 Save this if it softened something inside you
💬 Share with someone trying to do it all in love
🖤 Follow for more honest, slow reflections on intimacy

07/03/2025

Men suffer deeply when they experience ED (erectile dysfunction).
For many, it’s a psychological crisis — not just a mechanical issue.
They often retreat instead of talking about it.

🔁 Reverse Empathy:
Just like women feel shame about dryness or desire,
men feel shame about not being “hard enough.”

It’s not just about s*x — it’s about identity, masculinity, worth.

💬 “Everything about a man is allowed to age — except his pen*s.”

We rarely talk about this.
But silence breeds shame.
And shame kills connection.

ED isn’t failure. It’s a signal.
A doorway into deeper conversations about stress, pressure, aging, trauma, and what it really means to be intimate.

You don’t have to navigate this alone.
And you don’t have to perform to be loved.

🖤 Follow for honest, human conversations about s*x
📥 Save this if it hit close to home
📞 Book a free consult if you’re ready to explore what’s underneath

*xtherapy

07/02/2025

Yab-Yum is one of the most intimate, grounding, and spiritually evocative practices in Ta**ra.

Your partner sits cross-legged. You gently lower yourself into their lap, heart to heart, forehead to forehead, legs wrapped softly around their body.

And then — you breathe together.
You rock together.
Not to build arousal — but to build attunement.

🌬️ Shared breath:
You exhale into their mouth — they inhale and rock back
They exhale into yours — you receive and rock back

You’re syncing nervous systems.
You’re remembering how it feels to be held, to be seen, to belong.

This isn’t a technique. It’s a sacred encounter.
And it’s one of many intimacy rituals we explore in the KISSS™ Method at An Elegant Mind™ — where we believe that erotic energy, when honored, can become a healing force.

💗 Save this for a night when you need closeness without pressure
💗 Follow along for more sacred, sensual connection practices
💗 And if this feels like something you'd like to try with guidance, the first consult is free — you’re invited.