Blue Moon Birth

08/18/2022

"I don’t know who needs to hear this, but
attachment parenting in a detached society is exhausting.
No. It’s not your baby.
There is nothing wrong with them if they want to be held all the time.
No. It’s not you.
You’re not doing it wrong.
Your feelings of exhaustion and depletion and being touched out are normal- considering the weight you’re carrying. Those feelings, and the deep ache underneath them - are a reminder that you were never meant to do this alone.
Babies want to be held. And we want to hold them close. Exclusive/extended breastfeeding, cosleeping, babywearing - all of these are intuitive, ancestral practices that have kept our species alive throughout history. Attachment parenting is just parenting!!
But never before have we parented in such isolation. There were always other hands stirring the soup pot, other aunties, and sisters, and uncles and grandmas, and cousins, and neighbors helping with the daily tasks and child rearing. Other arms carrying the weight of raising humanity. Together.
And now, it’s just you. Alone in the kitchen, trying to stir the soup and bounce the baby and play with the toddler and keep an eye on the big kid and answer the phone and sweep up the mess and tackle the laundry and .....
No matter how magical your baby wrap is — it can’t take the place of a whole village.
So no, you’re not doing it wrong. You’re just trying to stay connected in a world set on tearing you apart.
But don’t give up mama. I know you’re tired and touched out, but you’re giving your baby exactly what she needs. And maybe one day, when she’s raising her own babies, there will be a village around her, helping her hold it all together."

words and 📷 by ❤️

07/28/2022

Yesterday I got a call out of the blue from a journalist from the Candian Press inquiring how the pending epidural shortage would impact my clients. I'm quoted briefly in the article below. We discussed several other things which are not quoted in the article:
-90-95% of my clients are preparing for and planning for a physiological birth so they are already prepared for a natural birth
-I told her that the epidural rate at the hospital was very high - 80%, which is a stat I was told from a local midwife, and as such, I thought that lack of access to epidurals would certainly cause anxiety for the local birthing population
-She asked why I thought the epidural rate was so high. My thoughts are first, that societal and cultural norms around birth are about it being extremely painful and dangerous and those feelings are impregnated onto the sub-concious. Within that milieu it is difficult to espouse the confidence and trust in the power of the female body and in ourselves. Secondly, at BC Womens' they have 2 anesthetists and 2 resident anesthetists on staff 24/7. So epidurals are readily available should a birthing person want one. Usually from the moment they decide it is less than 10 minutes until the doctor arrvies to provide it. At rurals hospitals they don't have an anesthetist on at all times so I think there is more support around trying to birth without an epidural. Thirdly, there is a very high induction and augmentation rate, I believe at least 50%, and having easy access to epidurals facilitates these highly medicalized births. Lastly, there is a belief held, at least by some of the doctors and nurses, that women cannot birth without an epidural so it is often suggested and offered repeatedly.
-Last thing the journalist asked me was what do I recommend for people that are anxious about the pain of childbirth, particularly with the prospect of not having access to an epidural? My answer is the same thing I tell everyone preparing for childbirth. You should take a quality prenatal (childbirth preparation) class and you should hire a doula. If you are highly anxious I recommend exploring the option of using hypnosis for childbirth. It works.

A shortage of epidural tubes used to provide pain medication primarily during labour and delivery is affecting most provinces, but supply issues seem ...

07/25/2022

Reposted with permission from my friends at North Dallas Doula Associates]

✨What if we told women the truth about birth✨

We’d have to tell them that contractions will probably be more than “surges” or “sensations.”

That they’ll probably rock your f✨cking world and leave you begging for salvation as you clutch the edge of the tub or the hospital linens

That your gentle breathing exercises and your Spotify soundtrack will be left in the dust as you sweat and pant and sway and swear your way through it

That you’ll trip harder than any mushroom you ever did in college and vomit with the same ferocity and travel to places deep within yourself that you didn’t know existed. That you’ll float above your body and simultaneously be trapped in it with an intensity you’ve never tasted

And in that intensity, in the sweating and the swearing and the swaying and the vomiting and the endless hours of contractions crashing down upon you
You’ll find your strength
You’ll find a resilience you’ve never known
You’ll find the power you need for the journey of motherhood ahead

In the messy humanity of it all
You’ll find that you are holy
A portal to the divine
Capable of indescribable miracles
A vessel of sacred life

What if we told women the truth about birth?
We’d have to tell them they are capable of anything
Worthy of being treated like goddesses
Made to walk through the flames
Surf the tidal waves
Dive into the underworld
And come out alive

Not unscathed
Not unchanged
But whole
And healed
And ready to take on the world

If we told women the truth about birth
We’d have to admit that we’ve lied about everything else
And that they are more powerful
More fierce
More capable
More beautiful
Than we’ve ever let on.

If we told the truth about birth?
We’d shatter the world.”

Words
Image North Dallas Doula Associates]

05/11/2022

This news is world changing for new parents. I’m so excited at the prospect of a screening test.

Researchers from The Children's Hospital Westmead in Sydney, Australia released a study that confirmed not only how infants die from sudden infant death syndrome, but why.

03/11/2022

Truth!

“I read a book once that said, “put them down drowsy, but awake”.

What the hell does that even mean?!

I agonised over that non committal saying.

I would stay up late and google what it meant only to feel more confused.

I’d then jump on sleep forums at all hours of the morning.

I’d message other mums to be hit with a bunch of different sleep routines.

I think trying to figure out what it all meant made me more tired than the sleep deprivation itself!

I looked down at her once positive that she was drowsy but still awake, yes surely she was still awake…so I leant over the cot, watching her face, pleading for a smooth transition only to be met with sirens the second she touched the mattress.

Must be doing it wrong, less drowsy, more awake maybe.

Oh the defeat of it all.

So I cuddled her.

I fed her.

I rocked her to sleep.

I patted her back.

I even got really good at transitioning her into the cot while she was still attached to the b**b.

I was a rebel breaking all the “rules” by this point. My “manipulative” infant was going to be some codependent teenager still wanting to sleep in my bed, surely!

I won’t lie, my husband and I used some big words for those small hours of the morning. I didn’t spring out of bed with excitement to meet my instincts of holding my baby.

Oh no.

I was angry, tired, annoyed, tearful, I was exhausted.

But it still felt right to go to her and that’s all I can put it down to.

I wish I had seen more of the,
“It’s normal they cry out for you in the night”.
“It’s normal they want to be held”.
“It’s normal they need you”.

Because if it feels right, how could it not be?And the world didn’t implode.

We all sleep now, but I still wait for toddler feet to shuffle down the hallway towards our room.

I won’t always.

There will come a time…

But I guess all we have is what feels right at the time.

There are no rules.

This too shall pass, that I can promise.”

Beautiful words by and 📷: ❤️

02/21/2022

Dearest new mama - You are sore and leaky and more tired than you could have ever imagined. Everything is soaked in breast milk and tears. Everything hurts. Your body has literally stretched to its breaking point, or perhaps was cut open to make space for the miracle of life. Your heart aches with a love so huge it feels as though it's going to break you in half and sometimes you can’t breathe because it all feels too big. They told you about the waves of birth but no one told you about the intense waves of postpartum - the euphoria and joy that lifts you up, and the heavy weight that drops you suddenly and leaves you sobbing into receiving blankets. You look back across the sea and the journey you’ve made - and in the distance you see the maiden you once were. So much has changed in so little time and you wonder if you’ll ever find your way back to that self. You wouldn’t change this love for the world, but something inside you aches for familiar ground and the woman you once were. This is all so new and raw. But you will find your way, sweet mama. You have not left yourself behind, you’ve simply grown new wings. The maiden you with her carefree ways and wild spirit is still inside you, and always will be. Follow the compass of your heart. Allow the tears to fall. You will find your way, and your self will be waiting for you with open arms when you do. 💓

❤️

01/06/2022

10/10/2020

Breastsleep - a truly apt term.

You've heard this myth, right?
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The idea that breastfeeding to sleep is a bad sleep association. That if we nurse our babies to sleep they'll *never* be able to fall asleep any other way. That a mother's breasts are used as pacifiers (and not the other way around! Oh the irony!).
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As a new mum, I remember this being the myth I was most tempted to fall for. My son breastfeed to sleep ALL the time and I remember searching online (ironically after he’d nursed to sleep) and finding countless articles condemning the practice.
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The claim was that babies must be put down to sleep “drowsy but awake”. Some “experts” went so far as to suggest that if a baby fell asleep at the breast, to wake him up and then expect him to fall asleep on his own.
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Having nursed my son to sleep thousands of times I can honestly say that nursing is the most natural, relaxing and instinctive way to help our babies find sleep. It is normal, healthy and developmentally appropriate.
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It is a superpower that Mother Nature gave us to help our babies sleep – why we would consider squandering this or making our lives more difficult than they need to be is simply beyond me.
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The truth is that breastfeeding and sleep go hand in hand. Dr. James McKenna, the world’s leading expert on cosleeping, has coined the term “breastsleeping”, which highlights the fact that breastfeeding and sleeping are perfectly designed to comfort and help a child to sleep.
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The sucking action of breastfeeding releases the hormone cholecystokinin, which results in feelings of sleepiness in both mother and baby. This is often misinterpreted as being physically draining for a mother, but it is in fact Mother Nature’s way of ensuring new mothers get the sleep they need.
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I created a free guide that goes into more detail and also busts more baby sleep myths - link in BIO. 💕 Please share this with a mum who needs this myth busted today 🙏